SkyEmtRN Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 2-3 year relationship gone...took her for granted wouldn't spend time with her. Was stressed out with school and she was stressed out with her life etc. I'm 21 shes 24, both first loves She called it off...she said she doesn't have the feelings anymore. I don't believe its gone completely becuase she said she misses me and she still initiates first contact. I told her I'm changing my ways to become that better person. She said she forgives me for my mistakes and for pushing her away. I am going nc. I know I keep saying I'll do it, but this time I have to. I have nothing else to say or nothing else to do. I hope she can rekindle her heart as I still love her so much. Me and her are so much a like and we are compatible. Just at the moment our emotions are not lining up. She said as of now the feelings are not there. As of now...as of now..as of now.... I told her the door is still open for her but I'm not waiting around. Told her if she wants me in her life as her bf then come get me. I have been working out a lot and have been fixing my mistakes so that if she comes back we can be stronger or if a new girl finds me then we can avoid this. But I hope it never has to come to the latter. I accept my defeat...and if I could go back in time I would change everything to avoid this. I hope that she can rekindle her feelings...I pray that she does so we can make our relationship stronger with no more mistakes.
twinkles Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 This girl had asked you for attention and time and you denied her. You sent her a clear signal that she wasn't important enough to you to spend time with her. She probably asked and asked and got nothing except the feeling of rejection. How long did you expect her to beg for attention? She left because it was the healthy thing for her to do. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone and feeling lonely. What she lost is trust in you and when you lose trust you lose feelings.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 This girl had asked you for attention and time and you denied her. You sent her a clear signal that she wasn't important enough to you to spend time with her. She probably asked and asked and got nothing except the feeling of rejection. How long did you expect her to beg for attention? She left because it was the healthy thing for her to do. There is nothing worse than being in a relationship with someone and feeling lonely. What she lost is trust in you and when you lose trust you lose feelings. I understand, but I never really completely neglected her. I always made her smile and laugh. It was tough to spend time with her b/c of our shceduals. I was always there when she was sad and upset about something. Always comforted her. Her personal situation also affected her. For example, she has a degree already but is unable to find a job for that degree. She's been bouncing between jobs and even tried to go back to school for a hole new degree. Now she's debating the school and wants to attempt to find more jobs for her old degree. She is also angry that she is 24 still living at home with an underpaid job. But I always respected her decision and never forced her into doing anything. For example we are both virgins and I never once pressured her into having sex becuase she wanted to wait till marriage and I respected that. I was about to change my ways to spend more time with her but I was literatly a day to late...I had plans of suprising her with ice skating in Rockafella...but she threw in the towel...
twinkles Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I'm sad for you because you do sound like a nice person. The advice I want to give you is that if she says she doesn't have feelings for you anymore you have to believe it. I'm saying this because for 7 and a half years I stayed in a relationship with a person that constantly told me I wasn't the one, he saw no future with me, he loved me but was not in love with me etc. I failed to believe him and now he's moved onto someone else. These type of people will throw you bread crumbs just to hang onto you but in the end they leave you. Please do yourself a favor and get out of this relationship now. You are young and believe me you will find someone else. Please don't waste your time persuing this girl it will only cause you heartbreak in the future. When she says she has lost the feelings you have to believe it. Don't waste another second of your life...move on.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 I'm sad for you because you do sound like a nice person. The advice I want to give you is that if she says she doesn't have feelings for you anymore you have to believe it. I'm saying this because for 7 and a half years I stayed in a relationship with a person that constantly told me I wasn't the one, he saw no future with me, he loved me but was not in love with me etc. I failed to believe him and now he's moved onto someone else. These type of people will throw you bread crumbs just to hang onto you but in the end they leave you. Please do yourself a favor and get out of this relationship now. You are young and believe me you will find someone else. Please don't waste your time persuing this girl it will only cause you heartbreak in the future. When she says she has lost the feelings you have to believe it. Don't waste another second of your life...move on. I'm trying to do just that. Thats why I'm going NC. I'm not waiting around but I know this break up is good for us. (its been a little over a month since the break up). Yes I still have the door open for her. If she comes through it thats great if not...then I'll close it and open the door for another person. She's a very sweet girl, neither of us go to crazy parties, we dont drink we dont smoke, we just laid back and njoy going on walks. I'm done chasing after her becuase I said all that I could and done what I can. Yes I still have feelings for her and they'll always be there b/c she's the first one and we had so many good times together. Who knows what will happen but only time can tell. If it was meant to be she'll come back and if she does I'll be more than gladly to work things with her slowly.
wow123 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 SkyEMTrn-The best advice I can give you is to leave her alone. I did the same exact thing you did. I didn't give my ex enough time/attention, she asked and asked, yet I still didn't provide her with what she needs. I ended the relationship because we were both so unhappy (her because of the lack of attention, me hearing her complain/act needy/insecure. A month later I realized what I had and tried to get her back. She told me the same thing. She lost trust in me. She also jumped right to another guy. I chased her for the past 2 months only to push her farther and farther away. Now we will never talk again. So please, tell her once how you feel and leave her be.
twinkles Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Can I tell you that he had left another time and came back to me just to have him do it all again. My feelings were still there for him too but he still couldn't reciprocate them. When they are not there they are not there. I tried and tried. Don't torture yourself trying to change. You are young and will learn many lessons along the way and the changes will come naturally from the lessons you learn. For now just go out and find someone who likes you the way you are. The lesson you have learnt in this relationships is that when someone asks you for more time you give it. Now apply this lesson to your next relationship.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 SkyEMTrn-The best advice I can give you is to leave her alone. I did the same exact thing you did. I didn't give my ex enough time/attention, she asked and asked, yet I still didn't provide her with what she needs. I ended the relationship because we were both so unhappy (her because of the lack of attention, me hearing her complain/act needy/insecure. A month later I realized what I had and tried to get her back. She told me the same thing. She lost trust in me. She also jumped right to another guy. I chased her for the past 2 months only to push her farther and farther away. Now we will never talk again. So please, tell her once how you feel and leave her be. Thank you for your advice. I said what I said today and I'm leaving it at that. I even told her not to respond to it. Which she didn't and I'm glad she didn't The good thing is I'm really the only guy in her life. And right now she doesn't want to be in a relationship which is fine by me b/c I have finals coming up and I don't want extra stress. If you felt that way after a month, then its a possibillity that she can feel that way. Only time can tell whats going to happen. We never argued and never yelled at eachother. It was always peaceful to eachother. Maybe she'll go through the realization phase also but who knows. I think she will since she believes that I have changed and that its for the better. But for now I guess she can deal with her pain that she caused
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 Can I tell you that he had left another time and came back to me just to have him do it all again. My feelings were still there for him too but he still couldn't reciprocate them. When they are not there they are not there. I tried and tried. Don't torture yourself trying to change. You are young and will learn many lessons along the way and the changes will come naturally from the lessons you learn. For now just go out and find someone who likes you the way you are. The lesson you have learnt in this relationships is that when someone asks you for more time you give it. Now apply this lesson to your next relationship. Yes I understand...but something deep inside tells me to not give up complte hope. And if she does come back I would spend more time with her and that would fix the original problem that caused all this and it would work out.
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