flitzanu Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 THIS....I am actually about to break up with the person I'm with, they're out of town for holliday at the moment, and I cant think of any good REASON, they are a normal person, attractive, has hobbies, not clingy, etc...but for what ever reason I just dont feel it after 3 months...and I cant see myself with them long term, there isnot anything wrong with them, I just dont see myself with them for what ever reason, it just isnt anything I can point to Not necesarilty, I dont want to date the person Im with anymore, there isnt any one thing I can point to, and I'm not talking with anyone this is getting into semantics and splitting hairs, but you HAVE a reason. you're just saying your "reason" doesnt' feel like a reason. but "hey i'm just not into you" is still a REASON. i think the generalization is more like "they just left one day and never said why" is more the "not having a reason".
flitzanu Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 People arent evil because they would rather date somebody else. And truth be told, NOTHING they said would make it hurt any less. It stings pretty bad when someone would rather be with someone else than you, no doubt, but its their life and they have to be happy. Im sure no one purposefully set out to hurt you, it just kind of happened. No matter what, even if they were as nice as they could possibly be, you would still be hurt that you got dumped. I dont think anyone deserves to have bad Karma because they chose someone else, they really didnt do anything horribly wrong. Sure, you dont like it, and I wouldnt either, but its their choice to make and they have to be happy with it. The idea that dumpers are horrible people is pretty common around here, but you have to be realistic. There are two sides to every story, and no one owes it to you to stay in a relationship with you just so you wont be upset. Just so we're clear - I was dumped, too, so Im not here defending my actions or anything. I just dont think you should assume people are dirty rotten scoundrels because they wanted to be with someone else. and yes, i'm one of the most cynical about these situations. yet i do agree that they can't just be labeled as evil for not wanting to be with "you". i do though, believe they can be labeled as evil for the ways in which they go about making that happen. but...as we all know, NO ONE is ever 100% honest about these things.
Casablanca Posted November 28, 2011 Posted November 28, 2011 this is getting into semantics and splitting hairs, but you HAVE a reason. you're just saying your "reason" doesnt' feel like a reason. but "hey i'm just not into you" is still a REASON. i think the generalization is more like "they just left one day and never said why" is more the "not having a reason". Yeah it is a reason, but I cant point to one thing about her
flitzanu Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 Yeah it is a reason, but I cant point to one thing about her had the same thing happen to me once man. just realized a few months into dating a girl that i just didn't "feel" it. she never did anything wrong and there was no need for a breakup. some people just don't feel right.
YouNeverKnow86 Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 (edited) THIS....I am actually about to break up with the person I'm with, they're out of town for holliday at the moment, and I cant think of any good REASON, they are a normal person, attractive, has hobbies, not clingy, etc...but for what ever reason I just dont feel it after 3 months...and I cant see myself with them long term, there isnot anything wrong with them, I just dont see myself with them for what ever reason, it just isnt anything I can point to Not necesarilty, I dont want to date the person Im with anymore, there isnt any one thing I can point to, and I'm not talking with anyone Casablanca, Are you stuck on an ex or comparing your feelings for how you felt with an old flame to this one? The feeling may not be as great but you expect it to be since you have felt it before? Could that be the missing "not feeling it" link......Just wondering? Edited November 29, 2011 by YouNeverKnow86
joeminla Posted November 29, 2011 Posted November 29, 2011 No one is saying that people don't have the right to do whatever they want. However as adults, we were taught the difference between right and wrong. Lying, cheating, stringing people along and hurting them is WRONG. Treating someone with respect and integrity, even when you are breaking their heart is RIGHT. People dont get to treat someone they claim to love like s*it and then say, "Well, Im still a good person, doesn't matter that I treated you like a dog, stop playing the victim!!!!" Well say! I am going to print it, frame it, and hang it on the wall! My old flame even post something like *victim mentality*or so... I guess nothing new under the sun! Jerk is as jerk does! They are all the same! I feel much better now! Thank you!
immitable Posted November 30, 2011 Posted November 30, 2011 (edited) Felt compelled to add my 2 cts, You are all right, but there is a fine difference between a good dumper and a bad dumper. Good dumper doesn't need 5, 10, 12, 25 years to figure out you're not good for them, they don't string you along. Good dumper uses every possible way to communicate his/her needs to their partner. Bad dumpers have already been mentioned above and they deserve the bad karma. Bad people always get what they deserve in the end. Some people just have issues on their own and need to learn. Edited November 30, 2011 by immitable
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