FitChick Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I thought this was an interesting article about ordinary people, not movie stars, who found love despite "breaking the rules" about one person being much older or younger than the other. Whatever works for them is fine by me. There is someone for everybody.
Fabian Montenegro Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Hey look, another story about a couple that "broke some rules". It's very romantic.
SJC2008 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Romantic??? It's his GRANDMOTHER. Read the article again.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I thought this was an interesting article about ordinary people, not movie stars, who found love despite "breaking the rules" about one person being much older or younger than the other. Whatever works for them is fine by me. There is someone for everybody. As much as I claim not to be affected by the opinions of others in my relationship choices.... I definately am. It's a tough thing to admit. I'd like to think I could be more 'independent' than that... but to be honest... it would be very difficult for me to feel comfortable being with a man who was obviously much older or much younger looking than me. The much younger men who have been interested in me looked (and acted) older than their age. It doesn't hurt that I also look 5-10 years younger than I do. The much older men who have chased me just make me think of my dad. And it makes me queesy. My dad is an objectively handsome man too. He gets younger women hitting on him all the time (my mom is a lucky woman... she's no slouch herself!) All that said... I suppose I've done as much as anyone to make these kinds of relationships 'off limits'... I do have my doubts about how healthy they really are... mostly because I view a certain demographic hunting down younger women in a fashion that just seems (and feels, when it is directed at me) exploitive... not loving at all. ... and I feel the same in the reverse. Me having a relationship with one of my college students (not while they are taking my class...but afterwards) just feels, well, wrong... and exploitive too.
melodymatters Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I am married to a man 18 yrs younger than I. he is 6'6 with facial hair and glasses and I am 5', 100 lbs with long hair. People tend to guess him at 32 and me at 36 so not a big PHYSICAL difference yet. I do worry about it, as I age, but I also know what a deep heart and soul he has and I can't see him leaving his "best friend" because of crows feet ! We worked together and became best friends and developed crushes on each other before we revealed our ages: by then it was too late ! He is mature, wise, INCREDIBLY romantic, and we appreciate each other so very much every day. It is the best relationship either has ever had. Note: this is my 2nd younger man relationship, he died at 24 so that was a REAL LIFE LESSON in : No one knows how long any love will last, treasure every day !
Nexus One Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 (edited) ROFL! Laugh at it Wolf, if you had gotten your way, then that would have been you and Shannon one day. Edited November 25, 2011 by Nexus One
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Wolf has posted here that he's ok with older women for 'temporary'. It does suck for him that he can't take that back. I think he said that before Shannon started posting here. Shannon appears to be a very attractive woman... who happened to look past his rough edges. Too bad for him.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 I am married to a man 18 yrs younger than I. he is 6'6 with facial hair and glasses and I am 5', 100 lbs with long hair. People tend to guess him at 32 and me at 36 so not a big PHYSICAL difference yet. I do worry about it, as I age, but I also know what a deep heart and soul he has and I can't see him leaving his "best friend" because of crows feet ! We worked together and became best friends and developed crushes on each other before we revealed our ages: by then it was too late ! He is mature, wise, INCREDIBLY romantic, and we appreciate each other so very much every day. It is the best relationship either has ever had. Note: this is my 2nd younger man relationship, he died at 24 so that was a REAL LIFE LESSON in : No one knows how long any love will last, treasure every day ! I know, that's true (about not knowing how long anyone has).... I'm happy for you... I have a similar story, but not sure how it will go. My colleague at work and I seem to have a little crush too. He volunteered that he is 36 in a random comment one day. I didn't tell him how old I am. I'm 47. We had this little crush before I knew his age, and now I have cold feet.
Author FitChick Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 The couples in that article started out as friends and had no plans for romance. In fact, most seemed to think it was a bad idea. You can't help who you fall in love with. Luckily they didn't listen to negative people and all seem very happy.
Woggle Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 There is a difference between meeting somebody who happens to be younger and falling in love and seeking out a younger person.
Wolf18 Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) Wolf has posted here that he's ok with older women for 'temporary'. It does suck for him that he can't take that back. I think he said that before Shannon started posting here. Shannon appears to be a very attractive woman... who happened to look past his rough edges. Too bad for him. What is this internet soap opera about me and shannon? You all really want that to happen dont you Bless you for that. I actually strongly prefer women who are older, generally have more to talk about with them. Most of my experiences in romance have been with older females, and I would like that still, my only gripe is that I would like to have children one day and a woman in her late 40s would not give me that. i can't believe me laughing at the guy banging one of the Golden Girls is so controversial... political correctness is retarded Edited November 26, 2011 by Wolf18
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 What is this internet soap opera about me and shannon? You all really want that to happen dont you Bless you for that. I actually strongly prefer women who are older, generally have more to talk about with them. Most of my experiences in romance have been with older females, and I would like that still, my only gripe is that I would like to have children one day and a woman in her late 40s would not give me that. i can't believe me laughing at the guy banging one of the Golden Girls is so controversial... political correctness is retarded I don't know what you mean about wanting anything to happen. I want you to be happy. I want Shannon to be happy. Whether you find it with each other or separately is none of my business. My only caution is that you pay attention to your words here if you plan on potentially meeting someone here. If you want to ridicule older woman/younger man couples (which you have on this thread), don't be surprised if the random older woman you find attractive has a hard time taking you seriously. That's all I'm saying. FTR... +10 years does count as 'older'. ... and I've already confessed to my personal discomfort with relationships that have a large age gap. I'm not ridiculing them or making fun of them though. If they are comfortable with it, that is all that counts.
Cee Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I've been on both sides of the age gap relationship - younger woman and older woman. It's not a big deal once you get over the imagined social norms. Friends don't judge my relationships. Instead, they are happy I found someone. I am insecure sometimes with my young boyfriend. I mention my worries and he has the same ones. I once asked if he'd leave me for a younger women. He immediately retorted that I may leave him for a younger man. People who worry about what others may think are doing themselves a huge disservice. Remember that other people think about themselves 1,000 times longer than they think of you. In reality, they don't think about you much at all. So go and date who you want. Find a person who loves you. The rest will fall into place.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 ... and I've already confessed to my personal discomfort with relationships that have a large age gap. I'm not ridiculing them or making fun of them though. If they are comfortable with it, that is all that counts. Full disclosure... I have stated that I find men who routinely go after much younger women is creepy and predatory... I'd feel the same way about women who do that too... That could come across as 'ridiculing or making fun'... so thought I should clarify. I'm not nearly as opposed to the random couples who happen to find love with a large age gap. That to me is much different than the ones who have a habit of actively seeking it out... which I do question.
melodymatters Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 Full disclosure... I have stated that I find men who routinely go after much younger women is creepy and predatory... I'd feel the same way about women who do that too... That could come across as 'ridiculing or making fun'... so thought I should clarify. I'm not nearly as opposed to the random couples who happen to find love with a large age gap. That to me is much different than the ones who have a habit of actively seeking it out... which I do question. I agree Amer.life, that people who routinely search out younger/older sounds almost fetishistic: Just as men who only date asians or women with huge breasts. That is NOT looking at "the person", that is looking for a specific sexual turn on. I WILL say, that if I hadn't had my one really healthy, happy relationship with my younger late husband, I might not have been able to overlook the age diff with my current H. So, it was more like he opened my eyes to not following societal rules when looking for love. And I thank him for that, as walking away from hubby because of his birth certificate would have been one of the dumbest moves I ever made !
Negative Nancy Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 (edited) i can't believe me laughing at the guy banging one of the Golden Girls is so controversial... political correctness is retarded i dont find it controversial cos i find it just as weird. just as i would find it weird if a man bangs a woman that could be his granddaughter. the exception of "i was not looking for it and we just ended up falling for each other" aside, i think couples with such a huge age gap in general either have a screw loose or are compensating for something. this was a post by a loveshack poster a couple years ago, it pretty much sums up my views: A normal mans sexual preference ages as he does. When I was a young guy, I wanted young gals. When I was 18 to 20, a thirty year old woman, no matter how beautiful looked "old" and thus undesireable. When I reached 40, an beautiful 20 year old looked like a child. This is healthy natural selection. Our genes if normal prevent us from raping and pillaging teenagers once mature. It's those who deviate from the norm who don't have those naturally built in buffers. I'm really old now.. 59. I'm not interested at all in women under 40. Don't give them a second look unless they are stunningly beauitful, and then the look is one of admiration not lust. My idea woman is someone near my age, who shares my life experiances. I cannot see the point in Mature men chasing and bedding teens and young women. At least this mature man. Aside from the obvious fact that there's little chance of being physically compatible (hot chocolate before bed at 11:00 here) there is also the problem of socializing. My Daughter is 30 years old. After an hour or so, we have a hard time keeping a conversation fresh. The world has changed drasticly in the past 30-40 years. Youngsters in general have a hard time relating to the world before Seasame Street. $.20 cent a gallon gasoline, and $.05 cent candy bars and $.35 cent movies on single screens are fantasy. What would a couple seperated by 25-35 years talk about? I can't imagine. Happily, evolution has taken care of most of these problems for us. I am insecure sometimes with my young boyfriend. I mention my worries and he has the same ones. I once asked if he'd leave me for a younger women. He immediately retorted that I may leave him for a younger man. it's nothing to do with him being younger. even men the same age as or older than their wives cheat and leave for younger women. so don't waste your time dwelling on it -there's no hope either way. Edited November 26, 2011 by Negative Nancy
Author FitChick Posted November 26, 2011 Author Posted November 26, 2011 walking away from hubby because of his birth certificate would have been one of the dumbest moves I ever made ! That is my gripe. People don't sleep with the birth certificate, they sleep with the body. If the body is healthy, slim, toned, attractive, I don't see the problem. Too many people cannot get past the number which is why there are so many 39, 49, 59 year olds on dating websites. One day you are 49, for example, and the next day you turn 50. Do you magically fall into a heap of ashes on the floor after 24 hours?
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