quietGuy13 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Hey guys. i dont have a gf, and never had one. I want to get one but it doesn't seem like i will be able to. what are chances that i will get one before age 40. since I have some disabiltiies is even harder cause women who don't have disablities are the majority of women out there, and they wont' be interested in me. moreover, i'm not handsome, and i'm not smart, cool, hip. I'm not a communicator and women like communicators. so far i've calculated it's almost 90% chance that i won't be able to have a GF before age 40
oaks Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I'm not sure about the exact percentage, but I think you're being fairly realistic that it will be difficult. On the plus side, you've identified what some of the specific issues are (and another one is probably that you live with your parents) so now you need a plan to either improve those issues or to compensate for them. Find a self-help group for people with your disabilities - perhaps just another Internet forum, or perhaps in your city - where you can talk about how to improve your social life and perhaps even meet people. (I'm not saying that you should restrict your dating opportunities to people with your disability, but I do think you need to increase your social interaction and you might benefit by hearing positive experiences from people in a similar situation.)
Eeyore79 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I have some disabiltiies is even harder cause women who don't have disablities are the majority of women out there, and they wont' be interested in me. Many women might overlook a physical disability, but they're probably less inclined to overlook a learning disability as it could make it difficult for you both to communicate on the same level. Your best chance is to meet women who also have learning disabilities and try to start a relationship that way. Are there any meet-up groups you could join, or activity centres you could go to?
DearAbby Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 First of all, you need to lose that negative attitude or you won't accomplish your goal of getting a girlfriend by age 40. That is number one. Secondly, If you are not handsome, why not work on yourself? Get new clothes. Practice communicating in front of a mirror. Lose weight if you are heavy. You must work on yourself and self confidence if you are to ever make another person happy. When you are happy with yourself -start searching. Finally, dating is like a puzzle. You will need to go out with about a million puzzle pieces to find your piece. You better start somewhere. You have to weed through the puzzle pieces to find one that fits. Good luck!
Chubbi Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 You should date older women. I hope you are not trying to date 25 year olds. They will not want to take care of you, and a disability implies dependence of some sort. One of my beautiful friends tried online dating. At the time she was 24. She really was looking for 1)self-esteem boost 2.) free stuff 3.) maybe a hot guy. Anyway, she got 100s of emails and she just picked men out randomly. Then, she went on a date with a guy, and she realized he was in a wheelchair. This is how she described it: "I just felt like I was doing volunteer service." Just be mindful of that. Try not to date women who you know are out of your league. She was Asian too. I don't know why men think Asian women are any nicer than American.
Wolf18 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Many women might overlook a physical disability, but they're probably less inclined to overlook a learning disability as it could make it difficult for you both to communicate on the same level. QUOTE] What a lie. IT's the exact opposite LOL. Women could care less about your "learning disability". If you have a "learning disability" op, then that's not holding you back from getting a girl. If you have a physical one on the other hand, i wouldn't know how to help you except to go to meetings of people with your exact disability.
MaxNoob Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Watch Murderball, a documentary about quadriplegics that play wheelchair rugby. These guys were getting girls - something about a motherly, nurturing instinct that compelled them.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Many women might overlook a physical disability That's 100% BS.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 What a lie. IT's the exact opposite LOL. Women could care less about your "learning disability". If you have a "learning disability" op, then that's not holding you back from getting a girl. If you have a physical one on the other hand, i wouldn't know how to help you except to go to meetings of people with your exact disability. That's why you should never take dating advice from women. They say some of the most absurd, deceitful things in an effort to uphold what I call the illusion of decency. The fact of the matter is that there is no shortage of borderline retarded men (think guys like 50 Cent and Lil' Wayne) who are very successful with women, while a wheelchair bound man could not get a girlfriend even if he was a genius.
Wolf18 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Watch Murderball, a documentary about quadriplegics that play wheelchair rugby. These guys were getting girls - something about a motherly, nurturing instinct that compelled them. Motherly instincts =/= sexual instincts. Back in Sophomore year me and my friends would go around bullying nerds like kicking their stuff around or scaring them, the women in our group always would jump to their defense because of this motherly instinct...but guess who was getting handjobs from them after?
Disenchantedly Yours Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Hey guys. i dont have a gf, and never had one. I want to get one but it doesn't seem like i will be able to. what are chances that i will get one before age 40. since I have some disabiltiies is even harder cause women who don't have disablities are the majority of women out there, and they wont' be interested in me. moreover, i'm not handsome, and i'm not smart, cool, hip. I'm not a communicator and women like communicators. so far i've calculated it's almost 90% chance that i won't be able to have a GF before age 40 QuietGuy, I know it's cliche but instead of focusing on a gf work on yourself. Work on your communicating. Do a little shopping, or if your disabilities prevent you from doing that, ask someone to take you shopping. Women are actually stastically known to be more inclined to get into relationships with men with disablilties then the reverse. But no woman is going to want you, disability or not, if you mop around about it. Work on yourself. It's a long never ending process but if you take it serious, you will see results and get more confidence.
Author quietGuy13 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 "The fact of the matter is that there is no shortage of borderline retarded men (think guys like 50 Cent and Lil' Wayne) who are very successful with women, while a wheelchair bound man could not get a girlfriend even if he was a genius." Yea. That's why i'm ignored all the time. Well so far i'm early 30s and the only women that ever cared even about being friends with me are OLD LADIES(50s, 60s) and foreign quiet girls. So it's not looking good. And for those of you that think i do different with the young american girls... I don't.. I talk the same way. The same way i talk to the old laides and the foreign ones is the way I talk to the young(well, i mean my age) american women are never ever interested. They always follow the talkative smooth guys. I talk slow and very basic words. not smooth, not slang, not fancy vocabulary, not phD graduate vocabulary. The foreign girls , most of them hate me also. They want the typcal american people who can speak fast and fluent and many of them want to experience the outgoing/party/club type of american lifestyle, so they think I"m boring.. But compared to Americans or Latins from America, there are lots more Foreign girls that have liked me and became my friends. Meanwhile i've never had American/Latin female friends. ever. At work, they all ridiculed me/treated me like i was a f*** piece of s*** and weird...and i mean in every job i've had!!! So thats why it's not looking good for me and my dating/love life. **** **** "First of all, you need to lose that negative attitude or you won't accomplish your goal of getting a girlfriend by age 40. That is number one. Secondly, If you are not handsome, why not work on yourself? Get new clothes. Practice communicating in front of a mirror. Lose weight if you are heavy. You must work on yourself and self confidence if you are to ever make another person happy. When you are happy with yourself -start searching. Finally, dating is like a puzzle. You will need to go out with about a million puzzle pieces to find your piece. You better start somewhere. You have to weed through the puzzle pieces to find one that fits. Good luck! " I've been practicing communicating since i was in college and I never changed. You can't change what you're not , no matter how you try. I've tried faking it but it doesn't work cause i get stuck and have no thoughts and words in my head...and i get confused. The only reason it works with foreign quite girls is cause i can talk slow to them and i talk happy childish/simple topics. Americans and Latins around my age don't like that. They think men with simple/childish minds are stupid. I've proven this even in this forum, many women said that they think i'm weird and that they wouldn't date me.
oaks Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 I talk slow and very basic words. not smooth, not slang, not fancy vocabulary, not phD graduate vocabulary. How many books have you read in the last year? I mean fiction, for enjoyment. Reading improves your vocabulary.
Eeyore79 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 What a lie. IT's the exact opposite LOL. Women could care less about your "learning disability". The OP has said previously that he is mentally disabled - he has autism or something, and still plays with teddy bears and dolls. So it's a bit different from a guy like 50 Cent (the example used earlier) who may be dumb but still has a normal mental age. Normal women aren't inclined to date a man who is developmentally disabled; he would have more success if he looked for women with a similar disability.
Wolf18 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 You are part of the problem. Well, that was 8 years ago and I was a kid. Today I prefer to bully/knock down the people who think they are the sh*t.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 The OP has said previously that he is mentally disabled - he has autism or something, and still plays with teddy bears and dolls. So it's a bit different from a guy like 50 Cent (the example used earlier) who may be dumb but still has a normal mental age. Normal women aren't inclined to date a man who is developmentally disabled; he would have more success if he looked for women with a similar disability. How do you explain Lil Wayne then? The guy is 10x times more weird than even a 40 year old man who sleeps with teddy bears...yet he is one of America's most successful recording "artists".
Eeyore79 Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 He's extremely rich and famous. Therefore he could be the biggest weirdo on the face of the planet and he'd still have women crawling all over him. Also I doubt if Lil Wayne is mentally disabled, even if he is a weirdo.
yeahyeahyeah Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I don't know if this is politically correct, but I would say to look for girls/women with your type of disability or a similar one. We all are only successful with girls or guys that are like us. You generally don't see a really athletic person dating a slob, you don't see a really smart person dating a complete idiot, most people date someone that is socio-economically similar, and a lot of times physically similar. We all end up dating within our league (so to speak) unless we're super rich or super smooth -- but those are the exceptions. I'd look into a support group of some kind and also maybe look online for a site for people with your type of disability. I don't know if you're religious. If so, there are all sorts of religious groups that are very welcoming. And although a lot of religious people can be just as mean and hypocritical as non-religious folks, you sometimes do find some very kind, sympathetic people.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 He's extremely rich and famous. Therefore he could be the biggest weirdo on the face of the planet and he'd still have women crawling all over him. Also I doubt if Lil Wayne is mentally disabled, even if he is a weirdo. Lots of guys like him are neither rich nor famous and still do very well with females (or at least much better than your average quadriplegic, amputee, etc.) As for Lil Wayne himself...are you honestly suggesting that a man who can't string a sentence together in proper English and who sings songs about "shooting niggas with an AK47" or raping someone's girlfriend before slitting her throat or other similarly enlightening topics is considered to be of normal mental capacity in the US of A? If that's the case, I suggest that your whole country is ret@rded.
Sugarkane Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 OP I think you should work on your self confidence. And what guy doesn't have problems with communicating?! Isn't that just about every guy?
AHardDaysNight Posted November 26, 2011 Posted November 26, 2011 I sincerely doubt it's because of your learning disability. It's probably because of your negative attitude. You whine about everything. Get over that, and maybe you'll find someone.
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