xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 i don't know if this is where i should be writing this(hungover)hehe but need to speak my mind and here goes.. I don't want to but more feel like i should leave my partner.. love him so much it hurts.. ok situation.. we argue about the same thing all the time(especially when we drink) lol i'm the one bringing it up all he time cause it's frustrating me literally to death!! He has a daughter to someone else and he wants to see her but i know ex still loves him and will try get him back at any means.. i can't let him go see his daughter knowing that ex going to be there.. the not knowing what they are doing will kill me! CAll me selfish? She said to him i can't ever be around when he goes to get daughter cause she won't go to him.. Load of crock right! He agreed the dumbass! I just want to go so i see him get her and leave then him and his daughter can go do their own thing and i'll just come home.. but he said no and when i bring it up he gets agree and starts swearing then shuts down and goes quiet for ages.. I'm stuck and i feel i'm pushing him away more everyday.. i should just break up with him right? maybe that's the easy way out but i feel im suffocating him and pushing him to go back anyway.. argh so f'd up!!
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 i don't know if this is where i should be writing this(hungover)hehe but need to speak my mind and here goes.. I don't want to but more feel like i should leave my partner.. love him so much it hurts.. ok situation.. we argue about the same thing all the time(especially when we drink) lol i'm the one bringing it up all he time cause it's frustrating me literally to death!! He has a daughter to someone else and he wants to see her but i know ex still loves him and will try get him back at any means.. i can't let him go see his daughter knowing that ex going to be there.. the not knowing what they are doing will kill me! CAll me selfish? She said to him i can't ever be around when he goes to get daughter cause she won't go to him.. Load of crock right! He agreed the dumbass! I just want to go so i see him get her and leave then him and his daughter can go do their own thing and i'll just come home.. but he said no and when i bring it up he gets agree and starts swearing then shuts down and goes quiet for ages.. I'm stuck and i feel i'm pushing him away more everyday.. i should just break up with him right? maybe that's the easy way out but i feel im suffocating him and pushing him to go back anyway.. argh so f'd up!! Do you trust him?
punkinless Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 make sure you calmly let him know that you are very unhappy in the relationship and that if something dosen't change you are strongly considering leaving him. some guys (including me) just need it spelled out to them. if my ex would have said this to me b4 just leaving with no talk of it i would of been like ok. gotta do something . . .
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Do you trust him? yes and no.. his sister told me she has a spell over him.. i saw it one time we saw her(the ex) she was telling him how it is and he was just nodding and agreeing.. how they got together was stuffed up to, he already had a gf and she(the ex) knew this and still pursued him, she got him obviously.. i feel if he sees her alot he might fall for her again, or maybe hasn't fallen out of love with her just ignores his feelings for her.. i even saw her texts she use to send him saying she still loves him so that def doesn't help! Which is why i'm stuck when it comes to trusting him with her, any other girl i'm fine with
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 make sure you calmly let him know that you are very unhappy in the relationship and that if something dosen't change you are strongly considering leaving him. some guys (including me) just need it spelled out to them. if my ex would have said this to me b4 just leaving with no talk of it i would of been like ok. gotta do something . . . i have calmly spelt it out front and backwards, with caps and without lol he just gets angry and tells me how it's going to be, totally doesn't want to hear me out.. and yes i've told him repeatedly i'm not strong enough to let you go to them and be ok with it so i would leave you(him)... oh god here comes the water works lol really sux cause i don't want to be the reason he doesn't see his little girl.. So what now? is there a further step? cause im falling..
headsashed Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Maybe you should trust him enough? if he loves you enough then he wont leave you for his ex,you cant stop him seeing his child so no matter what he is going to see her,ur just gonna have to trust him more,thats my opinion anyway
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Maybe you should trust him enough? if he loves you enough then he wont leave you for his ex,you cant stop him seeing his child so no matter what he is going to see her,ur just gonna have to trust him more,thats my opinion anyway i know i want to trust him with her so badly but i can't i'm not that strong enough.. i would just cry and cry and cry.. That's why i feel i'm being selfish and should leave him cause that's not fair to his daughter but then it's also not fair to me and my feelings.. I think i've answered my own question now lol also it's harder because my son only knows him(partner)as his daddy.. so if i leave him i'm being selfish to my son.. god i just can't win! So i should just suck it up and let him go and act ok with it, yet slowly dying inside? ahh depressing
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 How long have they been apart for? Could it be he agrees with her because its easier then arguing with her?
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 How long have they been apart for? Could it be he agrees with her because its easier then arguing with her?umm say 5years give or take.. i know thats long but when we got together 2years and a half ago she popped up and wanted him back.. and thats true he said he agrees with her cause he doesn't want her to bar him from seeing his daughter- that i get but he doesn't see her anyway and she ran away literally with their daughter..
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 im pushing him away now anyway aye.. i just wish i had someone to tell me and reassure me everythings going to be ok when he goes to get his girl.. but i'll just be stuck with my thoughts and start crying like a moron, i tend to over think everything but in a negative way so that makes it worse..
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 i mean why can't ex just be ok with me being around their daughter, it's eventually going to happen but she made it clear that it better not.. so who's being unfair now? again i should suck it up? it sux man i will either be the bigger person and suck it up or completely destroy our relationship by arguing and being moody with him.. can anyone relate?? what did you do? how did you deal or how would you deal with all this if you were in my shoes???
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I get it. I had/ still have some serious trust insecurities and I pushed mine away... like away, away for good. You'll never know if he is, or is not. But I think he is desperate to see his daughter and so that is the only reason he is agreeing to what the ex says. The ex is holding her hostage and using the daughter as leverage to get him there. Trust him when he says nothing will happen. Has he ever given you reason to doubt him in the past?
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 I get it. I had/ still have some serious trust insecurities and I pushed mine away... like away, away for good. You'll never know if he is, or is not. But I think he is desperate to see his daughter and so that is the only reason he is agreeing to what the ex says. The ex is holding her hostage and using the daughter as leverage to get him there. Trust him when he says nothing will happen. Has he ever given you reason to doubt him in the past? he is desperate like dying desperately to see her.. and yes she is using the daughter to get to him, she knows he will come running no matter what for her..and yes! He was bloody textin some girl about them meeting up and that he was single, she was calling him baby!! He put her name under a guys name but i knew something was up because she would text really late, and he was textin her back whilst lying next to me in bed the pric! But i confronted him told him and her to both f off so he apologized and broke his sim card and phone infront of me and since that day he hasn't had a cell phone since.. and i think if he did have one we wouldn't had been together, still together this long.. i forgave him and we moved on.. but then this situation started up.. so you still think i should suck it up??
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Hmm well do you think this situation is worth breaking up over?
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 Hmm well do you think this situation is worth breaking up over? i know it's stupid right.. i'm going to have one more talk to him when he finishes work today and determine whether he still wants me(i've been a moody cow to him lately)lol I feel he doesn't love me as much anymore which is totally my fault.. If he still wants me then i'll let it go till he wants to talk about it and then eventually when that day comes... suck it up.. thanks for listening to me =)
ChelseaLS Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 We are all here to help and listen. I think if he wanted his ex back, he would be back with her already. Keep us posted
sardeen Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 It is kind of unfair for you to not let him see his daughter. Perhaps you have got trust issues that you need to get sorted out because it could be a problem later on in the future. If you feel the need to barricade him from his ex because you feel she has this "spell" over him, maybe you need to reconsider if you are ready for a serious relationship. Trusting your partner is very important.
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 It is kind of unfair for you to not let him see his daughter. Perhaps you have got trust issues that you need to get sorted out because it could be a problem later on in the future. If you feel the need to barricade him from his ex because you feel she has this "spell" over him, maybe you need to reconsider if you are ready for a serious relationship. Trusting your partner is very important.no i'm not stopping him, by all means i was like you can go but i won't be here waiting.. and trust me we are past serious relationship lol we in this for the long haul.. and never had trust issues, he does with me which i find cute(weird much)lol Anyway everythings sorted now =)
Author xxbrokenxx Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 I realized i was the one bringing up the past and starting the arguments.. I tell him how i feel and he's changed and does anything to make me happy but i was to blind sighted by anger and depression to realize so i would just lash out all the time.. Here's me thinkin i'm the victim.. reality kicked in my ass yesterday lol i was being the problem ol anyway i apologized to him and we good now, i'm so happy i had this realization befor it was to late.. talkin on here really helped out so thanks to eveyone who replied =)
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