buckeye Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 It was 2 years age my ex w informed me I would not be attending Thanksgiving with her and the kids at her folks. A week later I was told to find a place to live. Maybe I could have stayed and told her to leave, but I couldn't drag my kids through that. While I think I have made strides towards healing, the Holiday Season holds no joy for me now. I know there are many who feel the same way. I hope some day we may all find our way back to a joyful Holiday Season.
2.50 a gallon Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 buckeye I totally understand. I too had a similar problem with my first holiday after separation. First problem we were married during the holidays, so I was facing what should have been our first anniversary without her. I have said before, my Ex was fold out material, straw-berry blonde, with blue eyes, long legs and built. She knew what she had and used her sex appeal to win me over. We had only known each other about 5 months when we had our first Christmas. When we started to decorate the tree, she emerged from the bedroom in this black, see through, skimpy outfit she had bought from Fredericks, that included high heals, and fishnet stockings. It was an all night tease as she went through the motions, of hanging lights, bending over to pick up more decorations, leaning into the tree. That was a Christmas tradtion that I miss to this day. I had to find a way to fight back and reclaim the holidays, or sit around moping for about 6 weeks. I had learned a couple of years after I moved out on my own, that most women were attracted to a man who got in the flow and celebrated Christmas. So I was always a guy who decorated, put lights in the window, or on the outside railings. I began to reclaim the holidays with the first Thanksgiving. I cooked a turkey, easily done, some have this thing that pops out when they are done. A box of Stove Top dressing, brown and serve rolls, mashed taters, open up a couple of cans of veggies, and then invited my new buds over to watch the games and drink beer. That took care of Day one. The next day it was time to dig out the decorations and then I got lucky and found a bag of cookies cutters my mom had given me. Some of them where the same cutters I had used as a child, and that memory goadedme into baking a batch. Again easily done, just follow the recipe, I then spent the rest of the Thanksgivivg weekend decorating the cookies. It was one of the best things I have ever done in my life. The women of my apartment complex loved them, and before I knew it I was being asked when was I going to back more, and did I need help. And this included the hottest lady who lived in the complex, who refused to date any of her neighbors. My elf helpers, each brought over new cutters for me, and some that they had used as a child, and a bottle of wine. Just for one night they got to relive their childhood and they got to see the little boy in me, and they loved it. A new traditiion was born. It has been over 30 years and I know bake cookies every holiday
2.50 a gallon Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 (edited) buckeye From my previous post, I mentioned discovering the value of celebrating the holidays. About the third year after I moved out and was living on my own I began to notice a continuing phenomenen. My buds and I would woo a girl during the summer, that led to the fall and the holidays, then bah humbug Christmas, and between Christmas and the super bowl, like clock work they would dump us all. That is until my latest fling came along, I tried to humbug Christmas, but she ws not to be denied, and showed up one afternoon with a tree and decorations. Being of reasonable intelligence, I went along with her. Sure enough by Super bowl time my buds were dropped, but my lady stuck around. I was the only one who put up a tree, ever since I have been sold on decorating for the holidays Women see you putting up lights outside or in the windows, as a neon sign that says a man who know how to celebrate Christmas lives here. Women are attracted to men that are happy, over men who are sullen. I know how hard it is to shake the holiday blues, trust me on this, fake it, do your best to celebrate and decorate, and there is a good chance you might not be nearly as lonely next year As for the cookie thing. The point is find a way to rise above the pain and celebrate and the women will notice. And another thing on the cookies, over the next 15 years I always found a lady who wanted to come over and help. And quite often the gave me cutters as a gift. For years I kept them in a large brown grocery bag. Then 16 years ago I got a date with this gal who was totally out of my league. She was temporarily separated from her long time live in boyfriend who was off to detox from drugs, and the plan was that they probably would get back together in six to nine months In the mean time she saw that as her first chance to get into the dating scene, have married while still in high school, and then having to work two to three jobs to support her two teenage kids after the divorce. She chose me as her first date, FWB's, solely because i was short and skinny and she didn't want to be crushed while doing the nasty. As luck would have it our first date was just before Halloween, and as she was getting her confidence back and was thinking of dating others, I invited her over to bake Halloween cookies. She loved it, 3 weeks later it Thanksgiving cookies. For a Christmas present she bought me a big plastic container to replace the brown grocery bag, and I knew that I was winning She never did go out with a second guy, and three months later when her boyfrined came back she told him she had found somebody else. This years halloween cookies and long gone, the Thanksgiving cookies are going with us to her families feast. Sometimg next week we will begin on the Christmas cookies, for the 16th year. Edited November 24, 2011 by 2.50 a gallon Missing paragraph
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