Mcnulty Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Been one month today since I found out she was seeing my ex friend. When i realized this morning, I filled up...been filling up at work all day and snappy with the kids. Cried on the way back home. Is it natural to regress like this? I thought I was coping...just, but today has been a slap in the face. I mourn the loss of my best friend and it eats me up inside that she's with someone I know well. Lost my family through this, I can't/wont see them, they are remaining friends with her and I can't/wont hear anything about her, so, I avoid them because of this and because they weren't there a month ago for me...feel alone and stagnant.
wow123 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 McNutlty- I'm sorry to hear you're going through this man. I think regression is fairly normal. A month ago I thought I was 99 percent over my ex and ready to move on. This past week has been my worst thus far.
Author Mcnulty Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Just hits me in waves. I miss her friendship, her smile, her eyes, breaks my heart. Wow123...How long is it for you now?
mike588 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 McNutlty- I'm sorry to hear you're going through this man. I think regression is fairly normal. A month ago I thought I was 99 percent over my ex and ready to move on. This past week has been my worst thus far. Same here,, it's probably the upcoming holidays.
Paper Roses Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Holidays are the worst and a month is not that much time. Sorry you are hurting. It gets better with time, I PROMISE you. Keep busy, when you find yourself wallowing and dwelling on her, push yourself to do something. Go out, play a game, listen to music that won't remind you of her! p.s.--I think your friend is a jerk for doing that to you and remember Karma is a bitch, what comes around goes around.
wow123 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Just hits me in waves. I miss her friendship, her smile, her eyes, breaks my heart. Wow123...How long is it for you now? It's been 2.5 months since I tried getting back together with her and was rejected. I held out hope, but am not realizing I have to move on. Mike is right. The holidays make it worse. Not having someone. Seeing everyone else with someone/happy is difficult.
Veryconfused12345 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Hey there, Sorry to hear you're having such a rough time but you know that like everyone else on here, you're not alone. This concept that everyone is enjoying the holidays with the perfect picture of domestic bliss is a total joke, there are sooooo many people going through the same feeling of being alone. You're not regressing, although it may feel like you are. You have already gone through a lot of the heartache that makes you strong enough to feel like you had moved forward a little, if only to slip backwards. Think what you'll feel like this time next year when you look back and all of this feels numb. Pretty soon you'll remember the pain but you won't feel it. You're best friend wouldn't do this to you. If you are the type of person who could love someone so deeply and care about your partner so much as you clearly do, then I promise you you'll find that type of love again. Hang in there, we're here for you!
mike588 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Yea sometimes the holidays are filled with what it's supposed to be,, we see the commercials about how everyone is so happy and the whole family is together and everything is perfect. My ex., ex. of 10 years had a large family some local some the next county over and the only time they were all together was the holidays. Instead of it being so happy,so wonderful and everyone got along great is was a joke. Every year there was bickering,argueing,complaining, hurt feelings and I could'nt wait to leave. Then when it was over we wouldn't see them again until the next holiday,,, yea just like the commercials. I don't miss that but I miss not having someone like my recent ex.,, just the two of us alone together then later drinks with close friends.
smokey bear Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Im at 4.5 months and stuck again, i had the same at 3 months, i couldnt move forward. Then i did for another 1.5 months. Now im back to being stuck again. Don't have a clue what to do, things i done before arent helping anymore. I would like to get out and date again but i dont because if my ex came back i would go back and that isnt fair to date someone like that, but i feel its what i need to move on now. Honestly don't know what to do. Ive had a great 1.5months now this, it just doesnt seem fair
melenkurion Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Lost my family through this, I can't/wont see them, they are remaining friends with her and I can't/wont hear anything about her, so, I avoid them because of this and because they weren't there a month ago for me...feel alone and stagnant. Have you told them how you feel? There's a chance they think that everyone can be "adult" and get along. Of course you can't face hearing about her, every little bit is a punch to the gut. But I suppose if you don't tell people this, they don't know.
Author Mcnulty Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 I sent them a generic text, "Hi, I am okay. May see you all soon." I didn't mean it, i'm far from okay, but I won't go to them after they let me down and for fear they will say something re. her. I need to protect me, but in turn, I feel like I've lost her and my family...can't win, just got to get on with it i guess.
flitzanu Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Been one month today since I found out she was seeing my ex friend. When i realized this morning, I filled up...been filling up at work all day and snappy with the kids. Cried on the way back home. Is it natural to regress like this? I thought I was coping...just, but today has been a slap in the face. I mourn the loss of my best friend and it eats me up inside that she's with someone I know well. Lost my family through this, I can't/wont see them, they are remaining friends with her and I can't/wont hear anything about her, so, I avoid them because of this and because they weren't there a month ago for me...feel alone and stagnant. sorry bro. it's totally natural and normal to regress. i've been out over a year now, and i still can't 100% look back and be empty about it. i'm less sad now though, and certainly more bitter and bothered. but it still hurts. it's stupid to say, but it's true, time is the only thing that will help, and if it's a year...a month...a week...whatever time it takes YOU, is exactly how much time it takes. don't feel bothered if you don't believe you are healing "fast enough".
Author Mcnulty Posted November 25, 2011 Author Posted November 25, 2011 Thank you Flitz, I know time is my friend and nothing else. Would've been easier to stomach if it had been discussed... ended and my family had been there to support me through it, but none of that happened, I can't change the past, I know.
fenderjames Posted November 25, 2011 Posted November 25, 2011 Hi Mc, Im 3 mos in nc , was slowly ( and I mean slowly ! ) eting better , this last week has been the worst one since it all happened . Nothing triggered it , I woke up a week ago and boom . Still grieving today , big time . I dont know why this happens , but it does/did . Hope we are both just in a phase of healing .
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