why do some men hate men that are successful with women?

[Elysian Powder]

I noticed it on here and wonder why.

 

For the same reason women shame the men who look at porn.

 

No one wants competition.

[kvinna]

It's always about jealousy toward the hotshot jerk who can pick up 10,000 women and treat them like groupies that don't matter.

 

Does the sweet and caring man who has fallen in love with and is in a relationship with one woman have anything for you to be jealous of? Or is what he has not something you want?

[joystickd]

Its crazy I get crap like this when I just try to post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306403/6

 

I do what I do I understand there are consequences. The thing is its always men on here giving me hell about it not women.

[somedude81]

Its crazy I get crap like this when I just try to post http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t306403/6

 

I do what I do I understand there are consequences. The thing is its always men on here giving me hell about it not women.

So going back and forth with one guy, upset you so much you had to make a thread about it?

 

[joystickd]

So going back and forth with one guy, upset you so much you had to make a thread about it?

 

No. I noticed that the inexperienced guys harbor animosity to guy that have an easier time meeting women. I and others could link a bunch of threads where guy mention their animosity about these "successful guys". That back and forth didnt upset me. It was just a little frustrating that someone would do that instead of saying "Hey I need tips on meeting women. What should I do?". I had a hard time and made it. I don't mind helping someone out. I'm a believer in when you learn something and reach a certain level you need to teach others so the knowledge can flow, but the thing is the person being taught must be receptive to learn.

[Cracker Jack]

I hated like crazy when I was in high school. I mean, whenever I saw the guys who were good with women chatting them up, I'd always whine about how good they are with women, how it's not fair to people like me, and some other nonsense.

 

That was quite a longtime ago. I don't drink hateorade anymore. A waste of time and energy. I'm actually trying to make changes.

[somedude81]

No. I noticed that the inexperienced guys harbor animosity to guy that have an easier time meeting women. I and others could link a bunch of threads where guy mention their animosity about these "successful guys". That back and forth didnt upset me. It was just a little frustrating that someone would do that instead of saying "Hey I need tips on meeting women. What should I do?". I had a hard time and made it. I don't mind helping someone out. I'm a believer in when you learn something and reach a certain level you need to teach others so the knowledge can flow, but the thing is the person being taught must be receptive to learn.

It really seemed that way when you linked to the page which was just you and nofool4u arguing.

 

As I said in my previous post, the have-nots will always be jealous of the haves. It's human nature. Doesn't matter if it's about money, food, shelter or women.

 

It's great that you want to help people. Keep doing that and ignore the haters.

[counterman]

There's no point hating, it gets your nowhere. I had a friend who had problems with me because I was asking girls out. He was trying to make me feel bad by saying I asked out way too many girls and other bunch of crap...deep down he was jealous that I could approach a girl and just talk, whereas he was so insecure that instead of working on it, he'll try to reflect his inability to ask girls out by putting me down. I'm by no means successful at all but what is key is that I don't care how I am compared to others. This guy can hate all he wants and try to convince everyone he's not a loser but deep down, who is he kidding? There's no point hating.

 

Plus, you can learn a lot from these guys, maybe except for the really good looking ones who seem to get by just on their looks. I had a friend who I would say is similar in appearance to myself and he could get any girl easily. The thing is he has this attitude of I don't give a ****, and girls dig it. By no means is he extremely good-looking but rejection or not, he's still the same old guy, it doesn't phase him.

[dasein]

Haven't ever hated any guy for being successful with women. Have been damn sure resentful of a few common male a-hole behaviors.

 

The guy who waits for you to break the ice with women, then comes in and makes such a self-absorbed show that you just say f-it and walk off. He will eventually get one of the women after working his ass off like a tryhard clownshoe for hours. What a desperate, pathetic dip-sht.

 

The guy who you think is a friend who starts calling a girl you are sleeping with behind your back and telling her how you don't really love her like she deserves. This breeds bad attitude in the woman, you dump her, and sure enough he ends up with her before you find out what the worm has been doing behind your back.

 

The guy who will follow a particular girl and hang around like a stump until 4AM and outlast you with a woman who was ready to go 2 hours ago. He just sits there like a f-tard human c-block knowing full well what he is doing. Amazingly, after you decide you value your sleep over 6AM sex, he will in fact get with her just by sitting there like rainman for 8 hours and outlasting the non desperate men.

 

Guys who have to use drugs to get women. I lay this one equally on women, who know full well they are immune to the law in ways men aren't today. As has been said here many times, I've never known a drug dealer who didn't have literal flocks of good looking women in tow. Disgusting.

 

Oh well could go on and on. I don't hate them so much as think they are pathetic and resent how they have spoiled so many of my opportunities due to their antics.

[Andy_K]

I have a lot of respect for guys who are good with women, who are also decent people. Guys who have fun with women without leading them on or lying to them.

 

I have no respect for guys who are good with women, but have no respect towards them and hurt them. Guys who are *******s because they can get away with it.

[oaks]

Don't forget the much larger population of the United States of America. That would mean millions of love shy men.

 

I think you misread the post. aj22one's figures for the number of men in the US within the ages he stated are correct.

[phineas]

There are some true blue douchebags who happen to be worshipped by women. As a heterosexual man for example, I have no reason to think someone like Ashton Kutcher is the least bit funny or talented, while women think so because they like how he looks . There is a certain personality type and style that many women find attractive which is completely counter to my ideals of masculinity, in these cases the egg comes before the chicken.

 

However, I have good friends who are physically attractive and do well with women, and if anything I wing for them when I can.

 

I really hate obnoxious "nice guy" yes-men who will rag on men who do well with women by calling them "ass-holes" or "jerks". Yes, they are a-holes towards women, but that's only because they can be and get picked anyway. Don't blame men for being men in a good position, blame the women who pick them then laugh at your buddy's stories about the time he gave a girl "The Houdini".

 

This sums up my feelings accurately.

 

The types of guys who do well with women (plural) are much different than the guy who does well with one woman & continues to do well with her.

 

The first type are well, just jerks to women. They have a new "GF" every 6 months. Doesn't matter if she's a keeper or not, she's just a piece to him & when he's done he moves onto the next.

 

I hold no animosity towards these guys.

 

It's when women who constantly get with these guys looking for a long term relationship then bitching & moaning about how bad they treated her is when I get annoyed.

 

When I start dating women like this I either stop seeing them because I KNOW it will not end well since i'm not one of those guys that can generate the drama they need to stay interested.

 

Or I straight up tell them i'm just looking for fun & let them decide what they want to do.

[the wizard]

Women can be so random, impulsive, and fickle in how they react to different men, different approaches, at different times, that it's simply not worth worrying about all this stuff.

 

That's what I'm saying. Guys on here have all these methods, algorithms and ****. Go look at that thread about that guy who 's seeing success in POF. Men are coming on there trying to break down his success with women to every last atom.

 

Lmao, just open your mouth. Damn.

 

I consider myself pretty successful with women. You know I do? I talk lol. I'm not some business owner, I don't do photography, I hate kids, I don't spend hours biking on some ****ing mountain trail where wild bears and **** live.

 

I work out. I smile. I laugh. That's it. Jesus Christ. Its so basic but guys on here make it so complicated.

Edited November 24, 2011 by the wizard

[grkBoy]

I noticed it on here and wonder why.

 

I believe it's purely jealousy.

 

 

Way back in my "doormat" days, I used to also jump on the bandwagon that guys who are successful with women must be jerks, believing women only went for jerks.

 

Now I more or less see/understand what women really pursue, and while I don't condone a guy being a jerk, I understand also how much the nice guys really do lack in masculinity compared to the jerks. Like it or not, women want MASCULINITY among other things.

 

Like I was getting at in that one topic started by D86, women want guys who fit their lifestyles and have lifestyles that excite them. A guy who owns a motorcycle, works out a few days a week, has a good career, travels, goes to concerts, can easily enjoy a pint of beer at a noisy bar, etc...that's going to turn on many women.

 

The guys whom I see complain to death all claim to have diverse lifestyles, but peel back layers and you find they some of them boring lives in the eyes of women and many more simply pursue the wrong women.

 

I did that...many times.

 

When I see girls get with jerks, playas, douchebags, etc. I don't hate on those guys anymore for getting the girls. I more realize those girls are "damaged goods" and thus I should remove them from the dating pool. Too many others see them (because those girls are generally hot) and wish they would "give the nice guy a shot" when they should say "yuk! so not for me."

 

This won't change for most people. They'll still hate on the guys who get the girls before looking deeply into themselves and finding all those reasons why they turn women away AS WELL AS perhaps realize how many "wrong women" they pursued. It's no different than when women hate on other women because those other women get loads of attention from the men.

[fortyninethousand322]

I believe it's purely jealousy.

 

 

Way back in my "doormat" days, I used to also jump on the bandwagon that guys who are successful with women must be jerks, believing women only went for jerks.

 

Now I more or less see/understand what women really pursue, and while I don't condone a guy being a jerk, I understand also how much the nice guys really do lack in masculinity compared to the jerks. Like it or not, women want MASCULINITY among other things.

 

Like I was getting at in that one topic started by D86, women want guys who fit their lifestyles and have lifestyles that excite them. A guy who owns a motorcycle, works out a few days a week, has a good career, travels, goes to concerts, can easily enjoy a pint of beer at a noisy bar, etc...that's going to turn on many women.

 

The guys whom I see complain to death all claim to have diverse lifestyles, but peel back layers and you find they some of them boring lives in the eyes of women and many more simply pursue the wrong women.

 

I did that...many times.

 

When I see girls get with jerks, playas, douchebags, etc. I don't hate on those guys anymore for getting the girls. I more realize those girls are "damaged goods" and thus I should remove them from the dating pool. Too many others see them (because those girls are generally hot) and wish they would "give the nice guy a shot" when they should say "yuk! so not for me."

 

This won't change for most people. They'll still hate on the guys who get the girls before looking deeply into themselves and finding all those reasons why they turn women away AS WELL AS perhaps realize how many "wrong women" they pursued. It's no different than when women hate on other women because those other women get loads of attention from the men.

 

Meh...for me it's the quantity issue. If one guy is attracting 5 women and all (even 2-3) of those women are smitten with him and not open to any other guy's advances then that means there are fewer women out there for me to date. Meaning, instead of being able to sit back and take what comes at me, I have to go out and be competitive in the dating market. That's hard work that I don't necessarily want to do, especially if there's no guarantee of results.

 

And just curious but what do you mean by having an exciting life vs a boring one in terms of attracting women? I will readily admit that I'm not exactly like the guy from those Dos Equis commercials, but I'm far from some kind of eternal bore.

[somedude81]

Too many others see them (because those girls are generally hot) and wish they would "give the nice guy a shot" when they should say "yuk! so not for me."

Do you have any idea how hard it is to have that mentality?

 

I'd at least like the opportunity to try "damaged goods" for myself instead of passing over it just because somebody told me that they're bad.

 

It's almost the same thing as people telling me that girls who pass me over because of my height are shallow, and therefore I shouldn't want them. Give me a break.

[fortyninethousand322]

Do you have any idea how hard it is to have that mentality?

 

I'd at least like the opportunity to try "damaged goods" for myself instead of passing over it just because somebody told me that they're bad.

 

It's almost the same thing as people telling me that girls who pass me over because of my height are shallow, and therefore I shouldn't want them. Give me a break.

 

Yeah this is kind of how I feel too. It's like, how do I know which kinds of girls are good for me and which aren't if I don't have any dating history to use as a frame of reference?

[Trollhunter]

Who knows.

 

Yes there are some real jerks and loosers out there who do well with women. Someone mentioned Ashton Kutcher. The ones who come to my mind would be guys in prison who got married to women who wrote to them in prison.

 

Then of course there are the out and out physically, verbally, and emotionally abusive men who always seem to have a girlfriend.

 

Guys who hate men in those positions do so because they are so blue balls that they can't think straight. They don't see that those men are in their own ways really miserable human beings. Sure they get some sex, but other than that what have they got going on?

 

They are guys who want the validation of having a girlfriend sooooo freaking bad that they can't see straight. They don't realize that relationships are in many ways just one more thing to make you miserable 49% -51% of the time that you are in them. That's not all their fault, they do get stigmatized by people who judge them for having not been in a LTR.

 

For the kind of guys I described above we should pitty them.

 

Then there are guys who really are just jealous competitive pricks. They may have some women but not many. They just hate that someone else got more than them.

 

Yup. Plus they're psycho and they mad because they don't have much of a life.

[grkBoy]

Meh...for me it's the quantity issue. If one guy is attracting 5 women and all (even 2-3) of those women are smitten with him and not open to any other guy's advances then that means there are fewer women out there for me to date. Meaning, instead of being able to sit back and take what comes at me, I have to go out and be competitive in the dating market. That's hard work that I don't necessarily want to do, especially if there's no guarantee of results.

 

I hear you, but this is when I'll simply dismiss when women say "there's no decent men" or they lament on how all the "hot/exciting" guys won't commit.

 

Women are stuck choosing from the pool of available men who are willing to give them in life what they want. So out of the five women chasing thaty one guy, only one gets the guy...or even none (if he's not into commitment). They can lament, but the truth is there are plenty of guys, they just won't accept the idea of choosing beyond the small percentile of men they really want. They make themselves chronically single and alone.

 

That's part of what drives me to live my own life and to remove all the "pressure" of finding someone. That "backing off" thing I've told of. I just felt that if women are only going to pick guys they'll never get, then I'm better off alone as opposed to killing myself to convince one of them to change. Let these women end up alone, bitter, or even as knocked up single moms. They dig their own holes.

 

Some can call my attitude misogynist, but I see it simply as we're all responsible for the choices we've made in our lives, and I stopped looking at bad boy chasers as "victims" but more as "they made their choices and messed themselves up".

 

And just curious but what do you mean by having an exciting life vs a boring one in terms of attracting women? I will readily admit that I'm not exactly like the guy from those Dos Equis commercials, but I'm far from some kind of eternal bore.

 

I more aim that at the guys I've seen who only work, never work out beyond a few exercises for health, and their free time is watching TV and/or playing video games. I also aim at at the men who seemingly only do hobbies/stuff that's basically only liked by guys. These men all complain how they can't meet women, but most of the time these guys lack real social skills in talking to women, and when women peer into the lives of these guys, they find it boring and move on.

 

You don't have to be a suave playboy, but if your weekend is only playing video games, watching movies, and watching football...then it's a big part of why you're not meeting women or getting dates.

 

 

 

Do you have any idea how hard it is to have that mentality?

 

I'd at least like the opportunity to try "damaged goods" for myself instead of passing over it just because somebody told me that they're bad.

 

It's almost the same thing as people telling me that girls who pass me over because of my height are shallow, and therefore I shouldn't want them. Give me a break.

 

Trust me, when you see these women for who they are and not what you think they could be to you...then you'll get it.

 

I'm NOT talking about the woman who met a handsome man, dated him for a few months, then dumped him when he cheated on her with several women.

 

I'm talking about the one who then goes and confronts those other women with the "STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN YOU WHORE!" mentality. I'm talking about the ones who continually forgive the jerk for his behavior in the hopes he'll change. I'm talking about the ones who let themselves get pregnant in the hopes to keep said man, when he just turns tail and runs.

 

When I stopped dating for a while, I really got a chance to look at the women I had pursued...from the outside. They were all hoping to land some hunky yuppie with a luxury downtown condo. Every one of them has been "pumped and dumped" many times...and a few have had 1-2 abortions each from "accidents".

 

You really want to get with women like that? I know I'd rather die alone than end up with some trashy girl who has no self-respect...or some "formerly trashy" girl who messed her life up while rejecting guys like me, but now claims to have "seen the light" as she's pushing a baby stroller and desperately looking for any man who will marry and take care of her.

[fortyninethousand322]

I hear you, but this is when I'll simply dismiss when women say "there's no decent men" or they lament on how all the "hot/exciting" guys won't commit.

 

Women are stuck choosing from the pool of available men who are willing to give them in life what they want. So out of the five women chasing thaty one guy, only one gets the guy...or even none (if he's not into commitment). They can lament, but the truth is there are plenty of guys, they just won't accept the idea of choosing beyond the small percentile of men they really want. They make themselves chronically single and alone.

 

That's part of what drives me to live my own life and to remove all the "pressure" of finding someone. That "backing off" thing I've told of. I just felt that if women are only going to pick guys they'll never get, then I'm better off alone as opposed to killing myself to convince one of them to change. Let these women end up alone, bitter, or even as knocked up single moms. They dig their own holes.

 

Some can call my attitude misogynist, but I see it simply as we're all responsible for the choices we've made in our lives, and I stopped looking at bad boy chasers as "victims" but more as "they made their choices and messed themselves up".

 

Yeah I get the whole "I'd rather be alone" thing, but honestly I mean I've never even kissed a girl, let alone had sex with one or had a girl actually like me in that way. I kind of want to know what that feels like without having to go to a prostitute. I think that's more the problem for me. I'd like to see what dating is all about and then decide whether or not it's worth it.

 

 

I more aim that at the guys I've seen who only work, never work out beyond a few exercises for health, and their free time is watching TV and/or playing video games. I also aim at at the men who seemingly only do hobbies/stuff that's basically only liked by guys. These men all complain how they can't meet women, but most of the time these guys lack real social skills in talking to women, and when women peer into the lives of these guys, they find it boring and move on.

 

You don't have to be a suave playboy, but if your weekend is only playing video games, watching movies, and watching football...then it's a big part of why you're not meeting women or getting dates.

 

Well I'm semi-guilty of these things. I do work out regularly and I don't play video games, but most of my social activities do revolve around male-oriented things: watching football with friends, going out to see movies with friends, and playing sports. I meet a new woman a few times a year, tops.

[nofool4u]

I think the main problem sometimes isn't jealousy over guys that "seem" more successful. But that the ones that are full of themselves in their success treat women as objects that are only good for sex. Therefore ruining it for the rest of the men. The whole, "men are dogs" thing.

 

Oh there are truly guys that are jealous of men successful with women. Then you have guys equally successful with women who enjoy commitment with a woman, but resent other successful guys that make the rest of us look like jerks.

[nofool4u]

So going back and forth with one guy, upset you so much you had to make a thread about it?

 

 

Apparently. And I'm the guy in question. He is taking a remark he made about "especially" feeling the need to wear condoms because he has interracial sex, and turns it into a jealousy thing because he touts himself as successful.

 

He is barking up the wrong tree. If he is successful, hey, more power to him, as long as the women he is with knows what he is about and only wants sex.

 

But he made a comment about having a greater need to wear a condom BECAUSE he has sex with women that aren't black.

 

I wondered why race mattered and he gave me a bulls*** answer because he knew he was seen for what he is. The problem in the thread to which he is referencing isn't him being successful with women. Its about him seeing hookups as nothing more than a notch in his belt and thinking there is a greater need to wear a condom with non-black women. He is diverting the issue.

Edited November 28, 2011 by nofool4u

[nofool4u]

To someone other than joystick, what do you think it means when a guy says the following:

 

"I do wear a condom especially since all of these interaction are interracial." To me it says he thinks he has a greater chance of catching a disease from women who aren't black. He tried to make the excuse that he didn't want to burden them with a "half black child".

 

This is the comment I had a problem with, not being jealous of his self-proclaimed successfulness as he'd have this forum believe. I had a problem because he tried to inject race into whether or not he felt a greater risk with non-black women. And now he is trying to make it something its not, like he did in that thread.

Edited November 28, 2011 by nofool4u

[joystickd]

Apparently. And I'm the guy in question. He is taking a remark he made about "especially" feeling the need to wear condoms because he has interracial sex, and turns it into a jealousy thing because he touts himself as successful.

 

He is barking up the wrong tree. If he is successful, hey, more power to him, as long as the women he is with knows what he is about and only wants sex.

 

But he made a comment about having a greater need to wear a condom BECAUSE he has sex with women that aren't black.

 

I wondered why race mattered and he gave me a bulls*** answer because he knew he was seen for what he is. The problem in the thread to which he is referencing isn't him being successful with women. Its about him seeing hookups as nothing more than a notch in his belt and thinking there is a greater need to wear a condom with non-black eWwomen. He is diverting the issue.

 

You still at it lol. I'm not diverting issue. I clearly gave you the reason why. If I just want to have sex what's the problem with that. Its like I said before I have no attraction to black women. I clearly stated this and you never answered my questions.

[AHardDaysNight]

It's a jealousy thing.

 

I hate Brad Pitt, because everyone loves him. If I looked like him, thing would be so much simpler...but since I don't, I can't choose attractive women?

 

Guys that lose the genetic lottery tend to be angry at those who won it, for no reason at all...