skelterhelter Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 (edited) How do you tell your friends, in a nice and tactful way, that you can't keep going out all the time? Here's the situation: I've known these two girls for years (since high school, actually). Both of them have decent full-time jobs and can afford to do things like go out to restaurants, movies, bars (which is something they really like to do) several nights a week. I, however, cannot. Even though I do work, I don't make nearly enough money to do the things they want to do when we hang out because I basically support myself and have a mountain of debt. It bums me out because I would like to go out and do things too, but I can't. They always try to make it fair and rotate who has to drive when we go out, but still...it's very expensive either way when we go out because it's the cost of gas, food, beer, etc. They never just want to do one thing when we go out -- they want to explore every bar in town and go out to eat afterwards, too. It's just really frustrating because I end up looking like the cheap ass who never wants to do anything, but in reality I'm just more content sitting at someone's house, watching a movie or playing cards. (I've always been more of an introvert anyway, and the bar scene really isn't my thing). They know my situation and continue to ask me to do all these expensive things anyway. One of them even makes rude comments like, "Oh, there she is counting her change again," when we go to fast food places. It really upsets me because I don't want to be in this situation either, ya know? If I were at a place in my life where I could afford to go out all the damn time, I would! So how do I word this in a nice way without seeming cheap or like I just don't wanna hang out with them anymore? My other friends understand where I'm at (and some are even in the same boat), so it's just a problem with these two girls. Edited November 23, 2011 by skelterhelter
whichwayisup Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 So how do I word this in a nice way without seeming cheap or like I just don't wanna hang out with them anymore? My other friends understand where I'm at (and some are even in the same boat), so it's just a problem with these two girls. You just tell them point blank -- I can't afford to go out and spend money every week/weekend, once in a while is okay but not as often as you all go out bar hopping. Maybe you all don't have money issues and can afford to spend alot of $$ but I can't. If they are your true friends, it won't ruin or change the friendship. they will come to your house and hang out at times. In the meantime, focus on the friends who are in the same boat as you and take turns having get togethers and do a pot luck dinner style.
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