fresca88 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I dont want to bore people with a super long post so heres the basic story, we were together for 3 years very much in love and knew we wanted to get married eventually (he is 22, I'm 23) The last year has been LD because hes still in school and I moved back home with my parents, which is another state. We completely trusted each other and we had no problems with long distance, I just recently went on vacation with his family and he came to visit me at home. We talked everyday and skyped often. In the beginning of Oct he told me he started getting doubts about us and how he doesnt know if I'm the one if I'm the only girl hes ever dated. While it was hard to hear that, I completely understand where he was coming from so we decided to mutually break up and let him see what else is out there. I was moping around depressed and stuff at first because knowing he was out there chasing any girl that would give him attention hurt me. But I've gotten myself together and started focusing on myself, and tried not to think about him. I did the begging and pleading at first even though I knew he needed his space but eventually I stopped and got myself together. He wanted to be friends, but I was a little apprehensive about it. The few times we have talked he told me about the girls hes interested in, but he always said things like "but i dont think shes as pretty as you" And he has told me he still loves me, just isnt IN love. I feel so confused. I don't talk to him unless he makes the contact first and when he does it small talk. I am very close to his family and when they heard about the break up they were shocked. His older sister told me hes acting dumb and that he won't find someone like me and I shouldn't worry about it. I feel like this is GIGS and I just want to know, has anyone had their ex come back and how long did it take them?
qqqttt Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I haven't had an ex come back because I always mess up and go crazy, BUT I have gone back to exes I thought I have been completely over. With one guy, I started to feel like he was more like a friend. I began to become very much in like with another guy. I broke it off and chased the other guy for a couple of weeks. He didn't really share my attraction. Then I started to see my ex acting completely okay, almost ignoring me, not really caring if I was around. I started chasing him. He made work for it, but took me back in a little over a month. It really depends on a lot of things. What helped me is that we saw each other every day and I was actually willing to see talk to him. It is good, though, that he IS making the initial contact. Most just say "we'll be friends," then never really try talking to you. You just need to wait it out, vent when you need to, be really positive, hang out with your friends, go do new things; DISTRACT YOURSELF WITH GOOD THINGS. When you stop needing him, he may start needing you. Stupid, but it isn't a rare occurrence... It's also very good that you're close enough to his family and friends that they speak to you even when you aren't together. Maybe they may slip a few details to him about how awesome you're doing
ditzchic Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I've had 3 exes come back. It's ranged anywhere from 2 months to 2 years later. In fact I've been in a very similar situation to yours at your age and he came back. Several times in fact. Let me level with you. It's not worth it. There's a reason he called it off. It's not because "he isn't sure you're the one.". He knows you aren't. He's keeping you around as an option. If you do get back together you will still be just an option. It will also play on your insecurities. You can't fully trust someone once they've made you just an option. I'm 29 now. One of my biggest regrets in my dating life was wasting so much time on that one guy that proved over and over again he didn't deserve my time. I could have been out there meeting new people, enjoying my life fully, checking out MY options. Discovering things about myself. But instead I chose to pine over him and wait for him. Even when we were on breaks and I dated other people, I wasn't truly there. My thoughts were still on him. Who knows the opportunities I missed out on because of that. Don't do that. You'll regret it. Move on. Don't waste a second. If one day your paths cross again naturally consider it fate and feel free to explore it. But DO NOT wait for that to happen. Don't force it. Live your life and live it well. You'll be amazed at what life can bring to you when you are living it for you.
BCCA Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 what is GIGs? Grass Is Greener Syndrome. Its the latest excuse for people to waste their time waiting on something thats never going to happen. Its the new way people convince themselves that they should throw their self respect in the toilet and waste their lives hoping that someone that dumped them did it for a reason other than that they dont like them anymore. Its dumb, and whoever started saying it really did a lot of people a disservice. Now, everyone thinks thats what their situation is, and that all their ex's are coming back, instead of looking at the obvious fact that people dont dump people they see potential with.
Art_Critic Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 what is GIGs? Grass Is Greener Syndrome. Its the latest excuse for people to waste their time waiting on something thats never going to happen. Its the new way people convince themselves that they should throw their self respect in the toilet and waste their lives hoping that someone that dumped them did it for a reason other than that they dont like them anymore. Its dumb, and whoever started saying it really did a lot of people a disservice. Now, everyone thinks thats what their situation is, and that all their ex's are coming back, instead of looking at the obvious fact that people dont dump people they see potential with. hahahaha.. I love you BCCA....
BCCA Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 hahahaha.. I love you BCCA.... Right back at you buddy And youve been here long enough to see that Im right lol
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