She wants a divorce and no longer loves me... 1 week into it. I've gone NC.

[Heartbreak85]

Hey everyone.. So my girl of 2+ years has told me she wants a divorce, and it has caused me more pain than i've ever felt. Devastated. I can't eat, sleep, can't focus on anything, my heart feels like it's on fire, it hurts so much.. I just don't wanna feel like this anymore.

 

We met when she was a student in London (I live there, she's from Mexico) and shared the most wonderful connection imaginable. Her student visa expired after we'd been together for about 8 months, and we didn't want it to break us, so we decided to get married in her country. I flew over there a few months later, and we got married on December 4th. It was the best day of my life. It felt so rushed, as we didn't feel we had known eachother long enough, but still went ahead with it, it felt right. 3 days later, it was my 25th birthday, we were on our honeymoon together in Cancun (which was short, just 4 days, her jealousy also ruined my birthday... no matter what I told her, she was always jealous of other women and thought I was checking them out, which wasn't true... I would never disrespect her like that.)

 

Just 2 weeks later, I had to return home to work. I worked my ass off to improve my financial position, amongst many other things, all in order to get her a spouse visa, so that we could finally be together and live our lives. We had big dreams, dreams that I was certain would come true. We were certain that our being together, was destiny. Neither of us had a serious relationship before meeting, she always wanted an English gentlemen, I always wanted a latina princess. We waited our whole lives for eachother. Our future was all I focused my energy on.

 

I sacrificed so much for her. After marriage, we had to endure many months apart, which was an extremely difficult time for us both. We kept communication via FB and Skype. We couldn't handle being apart anymore, so we delayed the visa process and she flew over to stay with me for 2 months. We lived together, got to know more about eachother, there were some serious fights in between, but overall we both loved our time together. When she returned (which was July 2011), we kept communication, and continued working towards our dream of being together and following our ambitions (we both have a passion for music and want to work in the industry). Everything had been going fine. We both felt comfortable with eachother now, that we knew eachother well enough to assure ourselves that getting married was right, and that we wanted stay together and pursue our destiny together.

 

Fast forward, and Christmas is approaching, she bought gifts for me and my family, plus for my birthday, I mentioned sending her and family some too. Everything was going fine, no problems at all, both excited about the future...

 

until last Thursday (November 17th), when I receive this message... “..I wanted to ask you not to send any gifts for me please. I must talk to you about something first... Good night xx” …

 

Immediately, I knew something was wrong. I knew, deep down, that this would be the moment she left me. We log on to Skype... and it's all over. I react shocked and angry, she seems certain of her decision, but still clearly felt bad for what she had done to me.

 

Her reasons?: She told me she know longer loves me, and it's because she couldn't trust me, she never felt she understood me, and I can't deny that it's all my fault... I agree with her 100%. I was never entirely myself around her. I do understand why she doesn't love me anymore. Throughout our relationship, I put her on a pedestal, treating her like a real princess. I did many wonderful things for her, and she loved all of them. I loved her so much infact, that I changed my character to the point where I wasn't entirely myself.

 

She began noticing it after being introduced to my family. The way I speak with them, is different to how I'd speak with her. With her, I spoke more fluently, and behaved more upbeat, whereas with my family, I'd speak with my general Londoners/cockney accent, and seemed more laid back. Aside from that, she generally thought I was pretentious, false, fake... around other people too.

 

And she's right, and after a period of inner-reflection, I realise why I behaved that way. Insecurity. Never being proud of who I was. I had a bad childhood, and as a result, found it hard to achieve big things in life, and felt a lack of pride, and disappointment, constant shame of coming from a dysfunctional family and chaotic childhood. I've always allowed that to get in the way of achieving my ambitions.

 

The thing is... she came from a very similar background, but always kept her dignity, self-respect, and never changed who she was. Always a genuine and honest person, and that was one of many things I loved and admired about her. Aside from that, her other reason was that she didn't want to return to England. She had an image of what it was like here, and after a while, she began to realise that she just didn't want to be here. It's too cold for her, there are too many people rushing around everywhere, there's no room,

it's stressful... And again, I completely agree with those reasons.

 

I feel the same about the place (well, London specifically..) I never have really liked it here. Another big reason, is that throughout our whole relationship, I complained about hating my job, always saying “i'll get a new job soon”, blah blah blah...and never did. “I want to make music, learn to play the drums, guitar, write lyrics, poetry, stop smoking, get fit...” always just words, and no action.

 

I do want to achieve those things, but just never showed her that. It's no wonder she thought I was a fake, a liar... She also got a great new job in her city recently, and there are big developments happening for her there, especially with her family, and the opportunity to move away from her city (she hates it there) and be somewhere better. So...to summarise, it isn't any surprise that she did leave me, and lost all love for me.

 

I completely agree with her decision. Immediately after she dumped me on Skype, I sent her this:

 

“I think the reasons for you leaving me are an over reaction, yes I had been false on some occasions during our time together, and I did find it quite hard to be totally myself, I am just lying to myself, and by doing that, I have lied to the people I love. I understand that it is hard for you to be with someone like that, I would too, and for that I am truly sorry. One thing that is true, is that I really did love you, and wanted to spend my life with you. I don't wish anything bad in your life, and I don't hate you, depsite the bad things I said to you just now, you are a great young woman, and I just know that you will succeed with your life.” …

 

I regret sending her that, because it really isn't enough, it doesn't express entirely how I really feel. Shortly after that, she replied:

 

“Thanks, it's good to hear that. I tried to fight against my feelings, but I just couldn't stand it anymore. You know I want you to do great things in life, with or without me. Remember I always told you to do things for yourself, and not for anyone else. I don't hate you and have anything against you. I just find it hard to live like this. Unfortunately, this wasn't just going to work. I wish you all the best, please tell your family how much I am sorry about this. They are all very nice people. Take care.” ...about half an hour later:

 

“I'll let you know about the divorce. It might not be necessary for you to come all the way here. A translated letter might be enough.”...

 

and finally, 2 days later, the last message I received from her:

 

"Hey, I just want to know if you're alright. I know you think I don't care, but I do. This has been the thoughest decision I have made in my life. With you I experienced feelings that I never felt before, so this has been a special stage in my life. I really wish you the best, from my heart. And I hope you find someone with whom you feel comfortable with, like to be completely who you are. Please don't think I am a cold person without feelings. I vomited after I talked to you cos I was feeling really bad. You know I was always told you what I felt. I showed you my soul, I told you things I never told anyone else. But unfortunately, I never felt like I was receiving the same trust back. I still don't know what I'll do with my life. I must make a decision soon. I don't think it's fear to be with someone just to run away from my ****ty life. I must sort things out here first. The thoughts will always chase me, no matter where I go. I am sorry, I did get to love you. Take care and keep moving on with your life please. xx”

 

Since then, I havn't replied. I havn't bothered logging on to FB or checked emails. I havn't done anything...just suffer. She's in my mind every second, of every day. She's all I can think about. Not only does it hurt so much, to know that she doesn't love me anymore, but I feel the pain of regret, and guilt for the things I did during out time together. I hurt her too, and confused her, and it's killing me.

 

I just wish I could turn back time, and start over again. If I had just been confident enough to be myself with her from the beginning, then maybe things would have been a lot different.

 

This regret, and pain wont go away. The only reason I havn't replied since, apart from suffering, is because I needed time to take it all in. So much has happened. I needed time to think about the situation, and what I wanted to say. I was considering writing her a letter, and sending it to her on December 4th, which would have been our anniversary, along with a bouquet of roses, and a “farewell” card... i'm not sure if I should still do it, because the response is what i'm afraid of.

 

I couldn't handle being hurt more than I already am. I've started thinking about my plans for the future...I have 3 options to choose from, which are all realistic and achievable, and things i've always wanted to do. I have the courage, strength and determination to achieve all the things I want, and I know I will, I just wish she could still be a part of that, and I wish I could be with her too when her life starts to improve...

 

but again, it just feels like i'm lying to myself. The shared dreams we had, and our individual dreams, are what I have looked forward to, and worked towards since we had been together. I know that we can still both achieve our individual dreams, and we will... but those shared dreams, are just something I can't forget.

 

They were so wonderful, but because of my stupid and negative actions, I prevented it from happening. The hearbtreak and guilt of what I have done feels like it will never disappear. Please, if anyone out there can give some kind of advise, I would be very appreciative. I don't know who to turn to, or what decisions to make.

 

Thank you so much for reading this. Oh, and if it helps, i'm a Sagittarius, she's a Cancerian.

[Chi townD]

Okay...I read your post and it sounds like she was blaming you for EVERTHING that was wrong with the relationship and you're agreeing with everything! I throw uo the BS flag on that one. She'd rather divorce you then try to work on VERY FIXABLE things. The reason she's blaming you for everything is to try and justify it in her head that she's making the right decision for herself. Because it's all YOUR fault. BS!!!! You can be blamed for 50% of the problems in the marriage and she can be blamed for the other 50%. This was not 100% on you so stop taking the blame!!! And so what if you act a little differently around her. WE ALL DO THAT!!! i.e. when you go on your first date with a girl, are you COMPLETELY yourself? NO! You're on your best behavior to try and make a good impression. We put up walls around ourself and they slowly come down once we get to know a person and we can be ourselves around them. You two have never been around each other enough to have those walls come down completely.

 

Maybe your relationship has run it's course. But, it wouldn't surprise me if there's someone else in the picture, because she's throwing a marriage away on very weak excuses....

[Heartbreak85]

Hey... thanks for replying. I appreciate that of all the people to view this, at least one was willing to reply, and for that I am very grateful.

 

I wish that what you have just told me would change my mind, but I still feel the same.

 

Maybe there are some things I may have left out... I will always believe this was my fault. You mentioned I should blame her for 50% of the problems...but there really isn't a single thing I can blame her for. She never caused me any problems during our time together. It was always me. Ok, so she may have got jealous sometimes... but we eventually started to work that out, and I think she realised that i'm not that kind of guy.

 

There are always things with couples that we don't like about eachother, but we make compromises, and most often are fine with them. With me, all she did was make compromises, and I still continued to dissapoint her, after over 2 years of being together, so it still doesn't surprise me that she lost love for me.

 

In your reply, you said "And so what if you act a little differently around her. WE ALL DO THAT!!!" ... all guys do that? Well, the way a person might behave around their boss at work isn't the same way they would behave around their mum for example. I guess we just adapt our behaviour to the situation around ourselves, and the people involved, so I do see your point... However, I tried to "adapt" on too many occasions, and it just really messed with her mind. That was one of the biggest mistakes I made. I should have just been totally genuine from the start, she would have preferred that, and I most likely wouldn't even be on this site seeking advice.

 

This comment you made was very interesting: "We put up walls around ourself and they slowly come down once we get to know a person and we can be ourselves around them. You two have never been around each other enough to have those walls come down completely."

 

I do agree that when 2 people first meet, we "put up walls". However, It was one of the things I loved about our first few dates. With her, I wanted to bring the "walls" down and get to know her more, see what was behind the walls. And as time went on... I really did. She revealed so much to me, she told me things she had never told anyone else, and I really felt like I understood her and began to know her more with each day. On the contrary, she didn't feel the same about me. And I know you say I shouldn't blame myself... but it's true. I didn't reveal enough about myself for her to trust me. She was always worried about what she would find out next about me. And that's where the regret comes into it again, I wish I just showed her enough for her to trust me.

 

There isn't a chance in this world of there being someone else in the picture. She isn't that kind of girl. I know her well enough to know that she would never cheat, or try planning a move from me and immediately go with someone else, I seriously doubt that would ever happen.

 

We are both the same like that... I mean, very shy with the opposite sex, and too self-respectful to just start randomly sleeping with people. It was one of the things we had in common that I thought was great.

 

Sigh.....

 

It sucks so much when we want something we can't have. I guess that's the thing...what I want, isn't what she wants, and trying to accept that and deal with it is seriously the worst thing i've ever had to deal with.

 

Thanks so much for your reply, I appreciate anyone taking the time to read this and who can help me see this situation clearer.

[Chi townD]

There isn't a chance in this world of there being someone else in the picture. She isn't that kind of girl. I know her well enough to know that she would never cheat, or try planning a move from me and immediately go with someone else, I seriously doubt that would ever happen.

 

No disrespect but I've heard time and time again where folks would say, " He/she would NEVER do that to me. They're not that kind of person." Only to come back and say, " I can believe he/she cheated on me!"

 

Now, I'm not saying that she's cheating on you. I kinda believe that she's not actively cheating. But, she might have an interest somewhere else and isn't going to actively pursue it while you're still in the picture. The reason why I believe this is she too eager to throw you to the curb without trying to save a marriage over very trivial reasons.

 

And she can't be blamed for 50%? How about not coming to you when she first started to have these feelings so you to could work on them? How about not opening your eyes to that fact that you two needed marriage counseling? How about keeping these feeling to herself until she got to a point that she didn't want the marriage anymore? Was that fair to you? This is a marriage afterall, this is a partnership!

[Paper Roses]

Judging from that last letter that came from her, doesn't sound like a woman who really wants rid of you or doesn't love you. It's hard to evaluate a complete stranger's relationship online but if I'm done I'm done, I don't email or tell an ex that I loved him or anything. She did MARRY you, and if you did have her up on a pedestal wouldn't that mean that you maybe felt you weren't good enough for her? That's no fun.

 

After seeing that last email she sent you, I'd hate to see you two irrationally throw away what could be a long beautiful marriage. Maybe she got confused or scared or idk, hormonal. Us women are so damn impulsive sometimes. I say and do drastic things then when I've realised what I've done I want to look for the nearest bridge to hurl myself off of.

First she said she doesn't love you then she says she did in fact get to love you.

 

Did you two discuss a trial seperation? Maybe you should try to talk to her again. If you love this woman, I think you should do everything you can to keep her.

 

I'm not thinking cheating at all, by the way.

 

You say you both have dealt with alot of dyfunction (haven't we all?) maybe marriage counseling would help. Remind that woman what it was she loved about you.

 

I really hope it's not over.

 

Keep us updated please.

[Heartbreak85]

@ Chi TownD ... How can someone cheat if they are no longer with you? I am certain that is something she would never do, nor even consider. Any interests she has "somewhere else" are not with another man, I seriously doubt that.

 

The 50% issue... She always spoke her mind with me, and expressed any concerns or doubts about our relationship, and we always worked to resolve them. Maybe if I just listened to her more then things wouldn't have ended up like this. I didn't talk enough, just about simple things, I never spoke deeply enough for her to feel like she could understand me, and ultimately...trust me.

 

@ Paper Roses ... Thank you so much for your input. I really do wish that some of the things you said were true...but I can't just hold on to hope, or faith that there is still a chance of our relationship working, it would take me back to that delusional feeling of wanting something I can't have.

 

You made a very good point with this sentence: "She did MARRY you, and if you did have her up on a pedestal wouldn't that mean that you maybe felt you weren't good enough for her? That's no fun." ...

Maybe by placing her so highly, I ended up sending myself to a lower level, so low, that even my character changed. I wish we were just on the same level.

 

Nope, no discussions of a trial seperation. Even that is probably too far fetched in her mind, leave me now, return in the future... I doubt that's on her mind. It just really seems her future is without me, and that's how she wants it to be.

 

I really do want to talk to her, so much, i've never felt so sad to be away from someone, even though it's only been a week, by losing her, it's like i've lost a part of my soul. I'm just so afraid of her response, because it may hurt me more than I already am. It feels like anything I say or do just isn't going to work, I really think she has completely given up on me and lost all faith in what was once a beautiful, mesmerising relationship.

 

Even if I do remind her of why she loved me in the first place, I don't think it would work. Those doubts she always had about me are still fresh in her mind, and always will be it seems. To her, it just seems i'm not "the one"... I wish we could rewind to the beginning, and we could start over again, so she could understand who I really am and trust me.

 

I'll let you know the outcome, but i'm not certain it will be a positive one.

 

Again, thanks so much for your input. I really appreciate it.

[sunflower11]

Hi, I'm a Mexican girl recently dumped by a guy I was dating in the US. I'm not sure I even have very useful advice but..I know how hard it is to be in a long distance relationship..specially you cause you are all the way in London. However, I do understand some things about the culture here and how close we tend to be with our families..maybe it's something she wasn't ready to give up yet you know? I'm not sure how she is, I also came back to my country because my student visa expired and I had plans to marry him..or at least we had mentioned it a couple of times so I could go back to the US and be with him. I know his family didn't agree with the decision of me coming back to my country and all..and of course now that I am here, I feel so close to home, that I wouldn't consider going back anytime soon. Maybe it was rushed like you said, maybe her family pressured her, but I seriously doubt the whole "I don't love you anymore"...cause love doesn't just..go away. It just doesn't. You don't stop loving someone like that..in a couple weeks or months, specially when you have promised to be with that person for the rest of your life. There HAS TO be other reasons behind this...again sorry if I confused you more I just read your whole post cause it seemed interesting that she is from Mexico as well and the whole coming back to the country cause of the student visa

[Heartbreak85]

Hey sunflower11,

 

Thanks so much for your input. It's very helpful to see the perspective of another Mexican girl who has been in a similar situation.

 

What you said about the culture in Mexico and the way people are there is very true. I've never seen people who are so connected and dependant on their family and friends as I saw there, and I guess a lot of the time, because of the way the economy is, it's neccessarry, but it also forms a powerful bond/connection, one which is hard to just run away from, so considering that, I definitely see why it would be so hard for her to just pack up and leave, leaving behind her family and friends, especially to be with a man that she was never sure about anyway.

 

I must admit, there were many occasions when I was so sick of being away from her, that I just wanted to leave London and go there to be with her. The only thing which prevented me from doing that was the people I love here, family and friends. So I can completely understand how she feels. Plus there are things that I want to achieve here, that I wouldn't be able to achieve in Mexico, and again, she must be thinking the same.

 

I promised her that I would always love her, and their will always be a hole left in my heart that only she can fill. On the contrary, i'm sure that any love she had for me has faded away into the light. She no longer trusts me at all, and never will, therefore I believe that any love or feelings she did feel for me in the first place have just faded away from her.

 

I'm somewhat of a believer in Astrological signs and how they can govern, control and decide our behaviour. They claim Cancerian women are the best at hiding things, so maybe there is something else that i'm unaware of, and will never be made aware of. Unless, i'm just being paranoid, and should just accept that all of her reasons for leaving me are perfectly valid.

 

No worries, you didn't confuse me at all, if anything you helped me see things a little clearer.

 

Thanks so much for your advice, and by the way, from what you told me about your own situation, i'd say it seems his family got in the way a bit. Most of us have families or people that care about us and love us, yet during the dark periods in our lives, no matter how supportive they are and want to help you feel better, all they will do, is tell you what you want to hear, not what you NEED to hear.

 

I realise now, that destiny isn't something which is set for us, it is a choice. We build and discover our own destiny.

 

I always thought my destiny was with her, and she seemed to think the same. What we sometimes think is our destiny, is actually just an illusion.

[sunflower11]

Yes but I think in my case, he grew desperate and tired of the long distance because he's such a physical and sexual person he said he was depressed and whatnot. Now I know he's talking to skanks online trying to get some booty cause he's really desperate for sex. My mom was actually pretty supportive of this guy cause she knows how he treated me well (before!) but of course she had her worried about...well are you sure you want to wait so long to be with him? is he going to be faithful to you? you know how men are...what if you spend all this money on plane tickets to go see him, gifts you send him and all and he breaks up with you when he finds someone else? You knooooow how men are.....

 

So yea..I mean, that was only once that my mom sort of would tell me these things but the rest of my family (cause you know here in Mexico we have all the aunts, uncles, gandmothers, cousins and all ) would not make good remarks about him or the fact that we were long distance..because it's something that is not really...seen in a positive light. There is a saying here that goes..."Loving from a distance, is blind stupid love", in spanish obviously I translated as best as I could. And there are A LOT of people here who just marry someone from outside to get a green card, a visa, a permit..you name it! In the US I had a ton of friends who dated long distance and it's common, here not so much. Specially if you are married I bet it is harder and culturally, you are supposed to be with your husband, that's why you get married and settle down in a nice little house and live your life together---according to people here. So I am pretty sure..that her family had something to do with it..maybe not in a bad way you know? maybe they were just expressing their concerns which created doubt in her head..which is I'm sure...what got the ball rolling with my ex.

[Heartbreak85]

Wow... that was incredibly informative. Thank you.

 

To summarise, I would say that overall, your decision to stay in Mexico was the best, and most realistic. Personally I think any man who thinks that by sleeping with random whores is going to change anything, or make him feel better about himself is not only lying to himself, but will just make things much worse. He's just gonna hurt himself more by doing that, very bad idea...

 

I sure do know how men are, I am one, lol. Don't let one guy give you that impression of the rest though. We're not all bad, guess it's just a shame that the percentage of good guys out there is very low.

 

Always trust mom's to ask those kinds of questions...mothers intuition really does amaze me. I mentioned how during the dark periods in our lives, people just tell us what we want to hear. With mom's though, they always seem to go deeper than that. Those questions your mom asked were totally accurate, and I hate to say this... but they do show elements of doubt about who the guy really was.

 

I'd say your mom was the only one willing to make those comments because chances are she understands you a lot more than any of your other family members or friends, again, one of the benefits of a mothers intuition. It's such a powerful thing.

 

Have to admit, i'm really gonna miss my (now-ex) mother in law so much...she was just so lovely. It was actually her who orchestrated the idea of breaking this visa process for a bit so that we could be together again, but not just that, she has such a great sense of humour, was a very spiritual and poetic person like myself, the greatest cook i've ever met... definitely someone that I really do care about, and will miss so much.

 

I feel sorry for any guy that ends up getting with a girl, falling in love and so on... only to realise they were using them to get into their country. That's such a cruel thing to do, heartless.

She was never that kind of person though...during one bitter argument, well one of the worst we had, I mentioned that myself...and almost immediately regretted it, because I knew it wasn't true. Just a typically stupid retalitation that us guys often tend to do... it's immature, and i've learned not to behave like that anymore.

 

Definitely agree with the long distance comment... culturally, physically...we are indeed meant to be together.

 

We always said to eachother, that no distance could ever get in the way of our love, and it never did, well, for me it didn't...

 

It's true what you said about family. I mean, I understand how hard it must be to move away from all of those people you love, no matter how much she hates her city... she can't be away from the people she loves, and I understand that completely. There have been times when I too, would liked to have moved, like I mention feeling so desperate of being away from her that I considered flying over there from London for a prolonged period to be with her, but would inevitably feel the love and passion of being with her again, but also a deep sadness at being thousands of miles away from family and friends. It's such a huge predicament, if only there was some middle ground...

 

Well, from what you've told me, it definitely seems you ex's family played a huge part in the decision he ultimately made. My belief is that if family members see any goodness in the guy you're with then they should focus on that and support you, unless of course the guy is clearly crazy, a criminal or something along those lines...then obviously they are bound to criticize, pass judgement...

 

Thanks for another helpful reply, amazes me really that considering how complex our situation is, there's someone else out there who has experienced very similar issues. Thanks again.

[sunflower11]

It's what my mom keeps telling me now that I have found out who he really is.."aren't you glad you moved back home?, it's a blessing you know this now and not later on when you get married, move in together, have a family"

 

I'm not one to marry for a green card..I loved him with all my heart and I was always honest, loving and caring..but I do think that...it's not that I don't want to date guys from mexico..I just feel like I don't really belong here anymore after so much time away from here (4 years in the USA and 2 years in Singapore before that) so if I am to marry someone I think I want it to be a foreigner just because I feel that if I married someone here, not for another 5-8 years anyway, that I would be "stuck" here. But you are soo right..culture can be a big shock.

 

And thank you for what you said about my ex..I do think he's going to have a sad, lonely and pathetic life because he keeps doing this...going from girl to girl and engaging in empty relationships just based on sex. And I want someone that can love me and respect me. It's unbelievable what he is doing and how cruel he can be..just last night I called him cause I got nostalgic over Thanksgiving and he hung up on me.

[Heartbreak85]

Your mum was definitely right! No doubt about that. So true...imagine the regret you would have felt if you did actually get married to him, start a family etc. then to find out that he was never the right guy in the first place? Funny really... I reckon that's exactly how my (now) ex must have thought about her future with me. Strange coincidence!

 

That green card behaviour is just cruel... Sounds to me like you were the one putting in all the effort into the relationship, but didn't feel you were receiving the same back. That isn't healthy. Both people involved need to put in that same amount of effort.

 

That feeling of being "stuck" makes a lot of sense. I see your point, you feel that if you married a Mexican guy then you would be stuck there forever, but you want the freedom of choice! Although, in saying that, couples can always make the decision to move abroad and explore a bit if they wanted to? Culture shock is immense... well, i've travelled, and experienced it, but to move from one country to another which has an entirely different culture must be a lot to handle i'm sure. Aside from leaving behind family, friends etc.

 

Hey, you're welcome... just my honest opinion of your ex from what you tell me, it's enough to summarise what kind of a guy he is... he will never be able to love again if he thinks having sex with different girls is the way forward. Seems afraid of commitment too, and that isn't what you want... Be patient, and the right guy will come your way, time is in your favour. The fact that he just cut the phone off when you called him on thanksgiving is cowardly, not man enough to speak to you.

 

You seem like a good person, I reckon the right guy will definitely come into your life at some point, patience will reward you!

[Von]

OP, time to man up and cut your losses. Time to focus on yourself and heal. Time to work on things about yourself that need to be fixed before the next girl.

 

1. Never put a girl on a pedastal, it kills attraction

2. Always be yourself, from beginning to forever, never change who you are for anyone

3. Work on being completely confident at all times

4. Move to America. Lol, Im just saying because life is better here for most people, plus the southern states are only a few hours away from most places in mexico, making it easy for one partner to go visit family. Thats what my buddies wife does

5. I love love love mexican women. Im white and thats all I date. I too want a latina princess. The only reason I havent gone down to mexico to find a wife is too much drug wars and Id be concerned about loyalty (the whole use you for citizenship thing). So far I just date mexican women that already live here. I wish there was a way to get a great girl from there though, because those women are really awesome to be with

 

Hope you feel better soon and realize there are tons of other girls out there. Im only 3 weeks out from being dumped and I have all kinds of girls giving me attention. Not that I want to date them, theres one but she isnt interested. Funny how that works lol