Read&comment

[ThatGirlDaily]

Please read all..

 

Me and Ken have been together for 4 months. But we've been talking for at least a year. It's a short time but it feels like i've known him forever. I know i'm young, but what i also know is that i love him unconditionally. We have so many memories together.

 

We've been off and on a lot. Always arguing, and he's always saying how i hurt him.. which really hurts me. I can never tell him how i feel without him saying "my lifes worse, you always hurt me, etc." It's always about him getting hurt. Always.

 

But last time we broke up, we were over for a day and he came back to me begging for me back. Well when we broke up this time.. i didn't think it'd be any different then any other time. I figured he'd come back as always.

 

I waited about 24 hours before shooting him a text asking "can we talk.." no reply. So i figured i needed to try a little harder so i sent him another text saying that i was sorry and all this love stuff. Still no reply, now i was so worried he wasn't okay.. that maybe something happened to him. The last text i sent him said this..

 

"Well since you're not replying i'll take it this is goodbye forever. I'm sorry for wasting 4 months of your life. Hopefully you can find someone better then me.. bye ken.</3"

 

No reply. I know he probably is just isolating himself cause he's hurt and he'll probably text me after a week max. but what if he's done this time.. he's come back to me every single time, he's taken me back every time. He just recently said "i love you. i'm attatched and i can't let go.." but now he's not even talking to me. His last words were "whatever. delete my number. bye."

 

I hate what i did.. i just wish i could go back and take it back. I just pray he texts me.. just once to let me know he's thinking about me..

 

I miss him.. i love him.. he's my everything, without him i have nothing.

Any advice or thoughts?

[Ninjainpajamas]

This is a fairly common experience when you are young. You hold onto those great moments even though over time they become less and less, but you still hold onto hope...waiting for that magic bullet where everything goes back into being magical and wonderful.

 

But takes a step back and look at the relationship as a whole, see what is really going on with the day to day. You're only considering the emotional aspect and aren't really giving to much credit to the arguing, the fighting the basic dysfunctional relationship that you are willing to have for the sake of what you feel is love.

 

I'm not questioning your love, that is for you to decide but ask yourself is this the kind of relationship you want? are these the kinds of childish games you are willing to play with each other to make it work? And if it can work are both of you willing to sacrifice in anything to make that happen or is it just one person doing all the wishing?

 

He's only ignoring you because he is hurt, and he knows you aren't going to go away because you keep texting him and maybe you are even used to this kind of a routine already and just casually go through it while you experience those lows without each other which brings you back together again.

 

When you're older this is all going to be very obvious and familiar, I'm speaking out of my experience anyway. Nowadays those kinds of games and back and forth tug of war isn't all that entertaining and the will and desire to go through them is not worth the sacrifice, because in the end those relationships are lost and strung out...now you realize there is no reason in stringing the pain out and it's not worth the games.

 

Furthermore if you are acting out of desperation as in "omg I can't imagine this person out of my life, I never want to let them go, I'll just crumble and explode without them" i can totally relate to that but from experience I can tell you that those moments will happen and eventually you will get over them, and over time and experience you'll be able to see what really was.

 

Don't be with someone out of your own insecurities, don't be afraid of losing someone because you feel there is no one else, be strong enough to say that I deserve a healthy relationship and a loving relationship but with someone who is wiling to respect me, work just as hard at it and be invested...it is not enough to just love someone.

 

Just keep doing your best, and try to have a mature relationship and do what is right and healthy for you, don't sacrifice everything for small moments of half good. Have a plan and try to work towards it, or you'll just go around and around until someone gets really burned.