stunned8165 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Depends on if thats what she wants to hear. I sometimes want to do that myself. The way I look at, if she wants to be reminded of our memories, she will look at the DVD's I spent countless hours creating of our 3 years of history. Taking all our pictures together with the kids, movie clips and adding music. They came out great. But appearently none of it means anything to her. That's something I don't understand.
qqqttt Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Probably not :/ I say this because the dumpee is constantly reminded of these good times, no matter how minute, even if they had never thought about them before. You will always believe that these types of things will help. "If only they remembered the good times, if only they saw we had fun and really were in love." The problem is that it seems forceful of you and makes it obvious to them that you are thinking about things long enough to remember these times. More often than not, this will push them away. In a way it's just like asking them for a second chance. The only time you should be talking about these things is if THEY initiate the conversation. And it's a GREAT sign if they do. I will admit that this is only a general opinion and it could be different. It really depends on your situation; why the break up occured, if you have been speaking, if so who has been initiating, have they been showing interested signs towards you?", etc.
lolita jade Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I even gave my ex a letter and poored out my heart, memories, our tune, save our 25 year marriage etc, This was within first 2 weeks of being told about OW. Although he said he has kept letter, there was no respose at all. He was as cold hearted as Hanibal Lecter lol. Dont do it............ you will be the one hurting 100 per cent of the time. I have learnt the hard way and tried everything. NC is the only way. I am two months in and at last realised contact is very bad. It always has the opposite effect of what you want. You need to think reverse psycology
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I too would like to call my ex ... but I won't. Patience... something I am struggling with.
M2155 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 It's not going to motivate your ex to do anything.
Art_Critic Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 They don't have a chance to miss you if you are always contacting them... so.. no it isn't the best thing to do to call her and remind her of your past memories.. She knows them just as well as you do...
JohnP82 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I too say don't do it. I sent my ex a letter pouring my heart out after she called me crying saying how much she missed me and what we had. Her response was very cold and distant. She's now dating one of the guys she was always too busy hanging out with to spend time with me. Life sucks sometimes, but I guess I'm better off without her.
lolita jade Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 See very similar answers. Dont do it. It takes lots of patience and heart ache but dont do it
blueeyes_mike Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I also say don't do it. It would be nice if you can communicate with her about the good times, but she might take it as you are dwelling on the break up and past. If you guys are still friends and talk often, then maybe. If not, don't do it!
mike588 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Would this be the right thing to do? I don't know how long you two were together and how may good/great times you shared but I am also against doing it. I myself came so very very close to doing the same thing. She may not think about the good times all the time but she also wont forget them.
ken_25 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Your ex doesn't need to be reminded of your memories. They'll remember the good and bad memories, just like you do.
fucpcg Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I right now am where you are at, but I've tried everything possible, and nothing made a dent. She has the same memories as I, she was there. I dwell in the love, she dwells in my mistakes (noth that she didn't have plenty herself), both by our own choices. Nothing you can do to change how she chooses to remember the relationship.
Art_Critic Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I right now am where you are at, but I've tried everything possible, and nothing made a dent. She has the same memories as I, she was there. I dwell in the love, she dwells in my mistakes (noth that she didn't have plenty herself), both by our own choices. Nothing you can do to change how she chooses to remember the relationship. The one thing you haven't tried is acceptance.. acceptance that the relationship is over. Once you accept it the healing will begin.
Paper Roses Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 My ex did that to me after finding me on facebook. Meant nothing to me, I was polite about it, but then he started asking me to get together and trying to chat everyday. I made excuses to not see him and not talk to him, but I was nice about it. There is a reason he is my EX. Just my 2 cents.
3rdman Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Don't. You probably have already some expectations about how she would react, but there's 99,9% chance it will be totally opposite of what you expect and you will be disappointed and hurt. Be strong, accept things how they are and keep nc as much as it is possible.
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