brillianthottie Posted May 25, 2004 Posted May 25, 2004 I am in love with a younger man who is a vigin. He is intelligent, sexy, adn we can talk for hours. He says he wants to make love to me but that he is scared. I have suggested not going "all the way", stressed that the manual aspect of sex does not have to be perfect, and been reall y reassuring. I really want to make love to him if he is ready, but I hate it that he is scared. What else can I do to help him decide what he wants. He constantly says that he is confused. He is 22. I have an endless supply of patience, but am worried we will get carried away and he might be sorry later... Helpful comments please.
RackEmUp Posted May 25, 2004 Posted May 25, 2004 Scared of what? Poor performance, pregnancy, STDs, intimacy, rejection, falling too fast, feelings going out of control, appearing naive, getting used....????? Get him to be specific, and really listen in a supportive, "ears wide open, mouth closed" way. These fears are common, and any of them can be overcome with some patient effort. He is intelligent, sexy, and we can talk for hours. He sounds very hot! Nothing gets us intelligent women warmed up like great conversation with an attractive man. Verbal intercourse is such a great lead in to sexual intercourse... How about the "bit by bit" technique? Agree that every session has a definite stopping point, and you both agree to go no further. Stroking, kissing (where?), intimate touches, full body caresses while partially clothed, etc. If each session goes well, you set a new "stopping point" for the next time. And afterwards, you can talk about what worked, what you want to change/practice, how you felt, etc. This avoids the stress of going 0 to 60 in 3.5 seconds.
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