guitarguy09 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Heres my story: Ex broke up with me about a year ago, saying she wanted to be alone. a few weeks later shes with this guy we both know. Found out later on she left me for him. Went no contact, and turned myself into a better man. she would occasionally text me, but i would pretty much reply uninterested, until one night she wanted to meet up with me. Thinking I was totally over her, I agreed and from then on we started hanging out and doing all sorts of "stuff" if you know what i mean. All those months of being on my own had made me realize that I could actually find a better girl than her, but unfortunately that hasnt happened yet. Which probably explains why I hooked up with her. The problem is that I do not really want to commit to her anymore. It is extremely difficult, no matter how much I enjoy being around this person. I see her as a potential wife but I do feel like it may be a little to early to get back together. I love her still, but right now I'm just trying to look after myself because the last time I let her get the best of me, she just F'd me over big time. Though I think shes really making an effort on trying to win me back. She has become really clingy, as if we were together and always wanting me around, which I desensitized myself from. I just feel like I need to meet other girls too, but on another note I don't want to lose her forever because I do see some potential in her, once she gets her issues sorted out.
BrokenFool Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Take it as a positive that she must feel something strong for you to come back after so long if you dont mind me asking have you had a years NC ? Did you make the first move to contact her or did she ?
Author guitarguy09 Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 not even a year of total NC. She initiated contact first.
othersideofthepillow Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 If you still love her than don't waste time. For whatever reason, she came back to you. I wouldnt have hooked up with her if i were you before knowing exactly what you wanted from the relationship cause that can cloud your judgement. its great that you have worked on yourself and are a better person. with that being said, if your always looking for something "better", you may miss out on whats right in front of you. i know the feeling of being f'd over trust me, but if you still have feelings for her as more than a friend, you owe it to yourself to take action on them. if i were you, i would have a real conversation with her. sit down and talk about what has changed within you both, how you can see yourself with her but also how things were done on her part from the breakup. she could be acting clingy cause she realizes what she messed up with and is trying "too hard" to prevent you from getting away again. like i said, if you have feelings for her still (especially after a year) and you yourself say she has Wife potential so if thats what you feel dont cast it aside cause you think theres possibly something better. the worse thing you can do is think there is (GIGS) only to find out there isnt than your left by yourself. i would try taking things super slow.....dont hook up anymore and see what your feelings are like than. if they are progressing further on the romantic level and you arent having sex - well than you still love her as a partner not just a friend. and trust me a year is a LONG time and ppl can def change a lot in that time frame.
EgoJoe Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Continue playing it cool. Let your unconscious mind guide you while you continue asking the right questions of it.
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