lolita jade Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Please can you give me some advice to love yourself? I dont know where to start to love myself
Ginger Beer Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 It's a cliche but go to the gym and work on your fitness. It is the best thing you can do to work towards loving yourself, I think. Go clothes shopping too. EDIT - Actually i'm not too sure if these help towards 'loving yourself' exactly, but I've posted it now.
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I go to the gym, take the extra time to do my nails and hair and junk. I also repeat to myself in the mirror "I am beautiful and smart. I deserve to be loved. I will succeed."... Its longer then that.. but along those lines. I've written it on paper and stuck it to my bathroom mirror so I see it every morning
Marz1974 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I need advice too. I hate myself. for not being able to hang on to someone who apparently loved me and still does. its been a week and i hate myself even more today than ever before
Ginger Beer Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I go to the gym, take the extra time to do my nails and hair and junk. I also repeat to myself in the mirror "I am beautiful and smart. I deserve to be loved. I will succeed."... Its longer then that.. but along those lines. I've written it on paper and stuck it to my bathroom mirror so I see it every morning Interesting. Seems a good idea. Does it work?
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I find you start to believe and it pumps you up. It's best to say it out loud.
wilsonx Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Interesting. Seems a good idea. Does it work? Its called affirmations and they absolutely do work... Do 10 of them post them somewhere and read them when you wake up... go to bed... and various times throughout the day... even after a bad situation... It keeps your mind focused on loving yourself. Do not memorize them, read them to yourself
Author lolita jade Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Poor Marz, Just a week? That is awful. Stick around here. We are a lovely bunch of people and will help you. I lost my job at your point couldnt cope with it all. It is two months now it does get better. Slowly but it does. If he still loves you there is hope still.
Author lolita jade Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Thanks Wilson. Can you give me some examples?
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 If I don't have it in front of me I do it from my memory. You're affirmations can be about anything really.
Author lolita jade Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I am amazing I am smart I deserve to be loved I am a beautiful caring person I am fun to be around I am greatful for everything I have I love my children I have the power to create a wonderful future I love all my friends and family I will suceed as a very confident person That type of thing? Got it. I will get out those post its
Author lolita jade Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Does it work for you Chelsea? I must keep up the running also. And amazing dress for Christmas
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 It does work for me. And you know even just standing up straight and forcing myself to smile even when I don't feel like it works. Yes! get that dress. Nothing like a few glances and comments to boost you ego too.
Trovador Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 You know, mantras are good but action is better... Do something special (positively special) every day... For example I practiced today playing the violin (it's a bbbtch, I swear) And I love myself for that... I did today my reading in two languages I am learning... And I love myself for that... I made a woman I am courting laugh as if she was a child... And... you know the drill...
wilsonx Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I am amazing I am smart I deserve to be loved I am a beautiful caring person I am fun to be around I am greatful for everything I have I love my children I have the power to create a wonderful future I love all my friends and family I will suceed as a very confident person That type of thing? Got it. I will get out those post its '' You cant use future tense or negatives So change your last one to "I am a confident person"
ChelseaLS Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 '' You cant use future tense or negatives So change your last one to "I am a confident person" Neat. I didn't know that.. the whole future tense part.
Author lolita jade Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Thanks everyone for your help. Will do that and keep you posted. Is there anything else you can do apart from affirmations and taking care of yourself?
M2155 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I agree on affirmations and looking good;). What has helped me: 1.) Helping other people 2.) Finding something you are good at 3.) Trying something new When you help people from the kindness of your heart, they appreciate it and you feel good giving and being needed. It's also a good way to take your mind off certain situations and help you see (depending on what you do) how fortunate you are depsite your breakup. If you can find something you are good at, especially if you can apply it to helping people, you can focus on that with some of your free time and maybe turn it into something you are proud of. If you're a good cook for example you could try some new things and share them with coworkers. It's a little thing, but the positive feedback helps and you have something people know you're good at. Try just one thing you never saw yourself doing or always wanted to try. I did this recently but to remain anonymous I will not say... but it involved getting up in front of a crowd:D. Was I good at it? Not really but just to look back and say "yeah, I did that!" was awesome. Friends admire seeing you take risks and go for things- sometimes that feedback makes me feel even better than just doing it. Next year I might try surfing (which is funny since I can't swim) So for me these things helped occupy my time so I'm not focusing as much on being single and I was very fortunate to stumble on a hobby that I can throw myself into. It makes me sound more interesting now when I talk to people and that makes me feel more confident. And you're still married. I'm sure your ex will get very curious (and confused) when he realizes you are having fun and branching out without him. I'm sure the OW will get boring. Don't do it for him though, this is about you!
Author lolita jade Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Thanks m2155 Curious to know what you did in front of a crowd I will try to help people and think about what I can do. I guess it is about focusing outwardly, not inwardly. I will have a look at what sort of things I would like to do. Have though about joining a salsa class but they are renowned not only for meeting people but for letching men lol. So that has stopped me. Last year I joined a walking group but it was full of computer nerds (sorry computer nerds) so although friendly, didn't really relate to any of them. It was suggested to me today on a psychic site to try power of attraction/ cosmic ordering and a vision board (you just stick pictures etc and make a collage of what you want in your life/ like a planner. But it does say you cant be too specific about wanting (name) to love you just that you want to manifest the love that is right for you now. etc. I will give anything a go!! This is making my new life sound exiting. Not to mention the bucket list- must do that too
M2155 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 It was like a talent show I say go for the salsa class. They can be leeches as long as they keep it on the dance floor...besides, that's good for your figure And definitely interesting. Good point about focusing outward instead of inward.
Author lolita jade Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 I was just thinking funny enough. I think I will try that salsa class!! If anyone else has any ideas feel free to shout them out. I am sure it will help all of us............ Talent contest good for you. Did you win?
ken_25 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I think one of the best ways to move forward is to start checking things off that bucket list. Preferably getting involved in a activity that forces you to socialize and meet new people. Doing something new and fun along with making new friends is a great combination for healing.
Author lolita jade Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 I must do that bucket list. I am 45 and since seperating I have always thought when I am 45 that gives me 5 years to do something wacky... Travel, move somewhere else, start new business etc. But in reality.... Not confident to go travelling alone or move somewhere different and I don't even have a clue what business I could do in this economic climate?? So it looks like new job, move in new circles and see what the spring brings. Does anyone else have any solutions or wacky ideas :0)
M2155 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 My bucket list has stuff like skydiving, visitng certain landmarks, learning to play the piano etc.... I don't know where you live but if you live in a decent sized US city, search for organizations or meet-ups. You almost can always find a travel-group or a womens' social group that does cool stuff because there are so many people in the same boat that don't have travel companions. I've seen a lot of sites in the past where you can join organized tours so you aren't solo.
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