pripp22 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I met a guy and we have been dating for one month. Things started off slow and then sped up and we would hold hands, show affection in public, make out, go on dates about 2-3 times a week etc. On our last date, I asked him for exclusivity and he agreed. Two days later, he seemed to have amnesia claimed to not have remembered our convo AT ALL. He said maybe he worded things wrong but he is not looking into jumping into a relationship so soon. I agreed with him and told him I always seem to jump into relationships and I would like to take my time this time as well. I apologized for even bringing up the convo because I was drunk at the time and knew that it was a bad idea but oh well. Anyway, he agreed that we should keep seeing each other and work our way into a relationship and I said okay. And now, he is distant. No calling or texting at all. If I text, he does respond though it takes him longer than usual. What do you think happened here? I'm sure I scared him away but I am totally okay with going back to the way things were but maybe he doesn't believe me. For the record, I am 26, he is 24. And no, we have not had sex yet.
spiderowl Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 It sounds like he was less certain about you than you were of him and so you ended up in the role of pressing him for things. That will scare some guys off anyway, but to be honest, if he was really into, you would know it. If you really do like him, the best thing you can do is to back off and not contact him. If you've been doing most of the work so far, he will notice this. He may or may not want to pursue it. He may wonder where you went and get in touch again. But wait until he is contacting you regularly and wanting to see you a lot before even considering a relationship with him. If he's drifted away once, he can do it again.
Author pripp22 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I see what you're saying but I did not press him at all. I brought it up, he agreed and everything was okay (this happened on Saturday). So it has only been three days in all fairness but I can tell something is up by the slow response time. I have deleted his number so I won't be contacting him again. I will wait for him to reach out to me after the holidays. Thanks for the reply.
Cypress25 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I think that's guy speak for "I don't want a relationship with you EVER." Now he knows that you're hoping this will eventually lead to a relationship, and he doesn't want to go there with you. If I were you, I would walk away before I become more attached. He's making it sound like it's just a matter of time, but I think he'll string you along forever if you let him.
Author pripp22 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Thanks for the reply Cypress. I think I am well aware when a guy does not want a relationship EVER. Usually they will say "I am not looking into getting into a relationship right now". My guy basically said he doesn't want to jump into a relationship so soon and that we should continue dating and work our way to that (since it has only been a month). Maybe you are right and he was trying to let me down nicely. After this conversation he mentioned going to a lounge that we both love for dinner after Thanksgiving. But now I'm not even sure that will happen...
spiderowl Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Sorry, by 'press him' I meant taking the initiative towards a sense of commitment. But there is nothing wrong with that if you are with a guy who is into you. I agree with others that he was a bit lacklustre. This is no reflection on you and simply a sign that he's the wrong guy. The right one will find you fascinating.
Author pripp22 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Sorry, by 'press him' I meant taking the initiative towards a sense of commitment. But there is nothing wrong with that if you are with a guy who is into you. I agree with others that he was a bit lacklustre. This is no reflection on you and simply a sign that he's the wrong guy. The right one will find you fascinating. Thanks, Spider. A part of me thought he agreed to it because he really liked me but when he changed his mind, of course I doubted his feelings and now his actions are really reflecting that he has gone cold. And the most interesting tid bit I forgot to add, he told me he would remove his dating profile (the site we met on) and we can continue dating each other towards a relationship. Do you see now why this is all so confusing to me? lol.
Author pripp22 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Well, it is kind of odd that he just emailed to see how my day was going. I replied once and he just sent a follow-up to my reply. I think I am going to hold off on responding again at this point. I don't want to get too excited and get my hopes up
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