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Had a fight, said goodbye. She had sex and I feel at fault

SilverBlueAndGold

By SilverBlueAndGold
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

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SilverBlueAndGold Established Member

SilverBlueAndGold

Posted
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Why do I feel like a) I was cheated on and b) its my fault? Like I drove her to it?

 

We have been on rocky ground for a while, had a "last straw" moment where I said I cant take it and we have to part ways. She argued, stamped her feet, said I never loved her, used her and all that (she knows better). Bascially did everything but offer to work it out and the next day picked up some cougar hunter at a bar and did it with him in the batheroom.

 

I know this because she told me, we talked for hours and even tho I am at once disgusted I still love her very, very much and am crushed. I know how emotionally busted we both are (bi polar, past trauma, you name it) and we have these problems no matter who we are with.

 

Why am I so obsessed, I find myself creeping the net trying to find pictures, cant stop thinking about it, keep asking her for details. Technically I don't even know if I can call it "cheating" but it was the day after so I don't know how to feel :(

creighton0123 Established Member

creighton0123

Posted
Posted

If you were no longer a couple at the time, she did not cheat on you. Either way, she found some young guy who banged her in the bathroom. Good for her. She got laid.

 

Does the fact that she had another man's penis inside her while you were no longer together inherently change the person she is? Of course not.

 

Don't let it bother you, especially if you have had past sexual partners, she has had past sexual partners, etc. etc.

 

Worry more about solving the emotional and communication problems between you two if you want things to work out. If not, I'd suggest you no longer communicate for an extended period of time (a few years). To allow yourselves to move on.

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SilverBlueAndGold Established Member

SilverBlueAndGold

Posted
  • Author
Posted
If you were no longer a couple at the time, she did not cheat on you. Either way, she found some young guy who banged her in the bathroom. Good for her. She got laid.

 

Does the fact that she had another man's penis inside her while you were no longer together inherently change the person she is? Of course not.

 

Don't let it bother you, especially if you have had past sexual partners, she has had past sexual partners, etc. etc.

 

Worry more about solving the emotional and communication problems between you two if you want things to work out. If not, I'd suggest you no longer communicate for an extended period of time (a few years). To allow yourselves to move on.

 

I do want things to work out, and so does she. To an outsider this may look like a ridiculous situation and I accept that. We are both really close and weepy these days and sometimes it seems like there is hope, but there are others where I wonder if we can ever recover from this and it scares me.

 

The obsession with details makes me wonder if I should get my head examined, I know how messed up that sounds.

ConfusedGuy28 Established Member

ConfusedGuy28

Posted
Posted

I find it emotionally immature and ridiculous when people are in a relationship....have a fight and "call things off" (when really you're both just pissed at each other) and someone runs off and bangs somebody and its "well we weren't together"

 

If you loved someone - you wouldn't need sex to cover up your emotional wound. You should be an adult - regardless of what mental disorders you have - (if you're not actively manic my friend, being bipolar means nothing; ONE manic episode means you're bipolar - doesn't change your ability to make decisions otherwise)

robf1971 Established Member

robf1971

Posted
Posted
Why do I feel like a) I was cheated on and b) its my fault? Like I drove her to it?

 

We have been on rocky ground for a while, had a "last straw" moment where I said I cant take it and we have to part ways. She argued, stamped her feet, said I never loved her, used her and all that (she knows better). Bascially did everything but offer to work it out and the next day picked up some cougar hunter at a bar and did it with him in the batheroom.

 

I know this because she told me, we talked for hours and even tho I am at once disgusted I still love her very, very much and am crushed. I know how emotionally busted we both are (bi polar, past trauma, you name it) and we have these problems no matter who we are with.

 

Why am I so obsessed, I find myself creeping the net trying to find pictures, cant stop thinking about it, keep asking her for details. Technically I don't even know if I can call it "cheating" but it was the day after so I don't know how to feel :(

 

Chances are she's been doing this before (cheating) anyway so don't blame yourself. Best to leave her alone and see how much she wants to get back with you.

Bryanp Established Member

Bryanp

Posted
Posted

She needs to be tested for STD's. How classy to get laid in a bathroom by some stranger.

Chi townD Established Member

Chi townD

Posted
Posted

Sorry dude, I'd run and never look back. You got into a fight and the FIRST thing she does is bang some other dude in a dirty bathroom to spite you?

 

That is a level of disrespect that can't go unnoticed. This relationship is WAY TOO toxic and I do realize you have feelings for her, but I think it would be in your best interest if you just move on. If she's willing to bang some guy in a bar bathroom because of a fight? What will she do the next time? If she could do this to you so easily, what's to say that this is the first time it's happened?

 

Run dude, Run!

nofool4u Established Member

nofool4u

Posted
Posted
If you were no longer a couple at the time, she did not cheat on you. Either way, she found some young guy who banged her in the bathroom. Good for her. She got laid.

 

Does the fact that she had another man's penis inside her while you were no longer together inherently change the person she is? Of course not.

 

Don't let it bother you, especially if you have had past sexual partners, she has had past sexual partners, etc. etc.

 

Worry more about solving the emotional and communication problems between you two if you want things to work out. If not, I'd suggest you no longer communicate for an extended period of time (a few years). To allow yourselves to move on.

 

Well call me crazy, but if I had someone I cared about, we fought, and she broke up with me, the only way I'd IMMEDIATELY get laid is if I didn't care about her in the first place.

 

All it shows is it didn't matter who I stuck my d!ck in. I wanted to all along if that was the case.

nofool4u Established Member

nofool4u

Posted
Posted
Sorry dude, I'd run and never look back. You got into a fight and the FIRST thing she does is bang some other dude in a dirty bathroom to spite you?

 

Exactly. And chances are she has been looking for an excuse all along.

jnj express Established Member

jnj express

Posted
Posted

Why would you wanna be with a woman (and that is being way to kind to her), who when the 2 of you disagree---and maybe even call things off---w/in one day goes into a public bathroom, and takes a total stranger inside of her

 

Is your future, that of everytime the 2 of you disagree she is gonna go looking for ONS's with complete strangers

 

If you think so little of yourself, as to wanna be with a woman like that---then whatever your future brings, you deserve it

 

At this point stop moaning, and groaning---either grow up, and look at reality---which is you have a relationship with a real loose woman, for that is what a woman is who would go into a bathroom with a total stranger, one day after a disagreement--

 

--its your life---enjoy it!!!!!!!

betterdeal Established Member

betterdeal

Posted
Posted
Wow, she's a classy lady, letting some strange guy bang her in the filthy restroom at some bar.

 

How do you know it was filthy? You're just making stuff up.

jnj express Established Member

jnj express

Posted
Posted

Hey betterdeal, did you get dropped on your head or something----even if public restrooms, are spotlessly cleaned up---they are still filthy, with all kinds of germs, and who knows what, and who knows what diseases the people who use them have----good luck to anyone who can think of no better place to have sex than a public restroom

patience82 Member

patience82

Posted
Posted

my friend had a long time girlfriend, the girl was really nice and my friend was an ass, she cheated on my friend ...

 

They tried again for sometime .. the love was still there, but the trust isnt...

 

if you really love someone, (its true that a heartache can be overcome momentarily with physical pleasure but..) try the hardest not to destroy yourself by effing other people.. true love for me is when you savor every laughter and pain. and a time apart will let really realize each others worth.

 

When you cling to each other after a break up .. is NOT giving each other the chance to grow.. (in terms of feeling and the right decision)

 

On the other hand, remember that its better to end now before things gets worst.

 

When you both learn to respect each other then probably theres a good chance your relationship will be better..

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