Numb121 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Hey everyone, here's some background info on my situation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302961/ if you don't want to read it that's cool but I would really appreciate some insight. Sincere apologies for it being so long. A lot has happened since March 2011 when me and my ex of 3 yrs broke up. For the last 4 months there has been on and off contact, mostly initiated by her through emails and fb. Last month I had sent her a message basically telling her to go away, we're not together anymore and she replied saying 'don't worry I won't waste my time on you anymore'. I heard nothing until a few days ago where she had messaged me saying 'I still love you'. This was the first i've ever heard her say this since we broke up. I asked to talk on the phone, she agreed but wanted a few days as she was very nervous, had a lot going on and needed to figure out what she wanted to tell me apart from that she misses me. I called her saturday evening and we had about an hour long convo, we reminisced a lot and she told me her feelings and I told her mine. She still loves me, misses me and us and wanted me back but was confused about 1 thing. That was she was scared that things may go back to their old ways. I told her I still loved her, wanted her back if she could make her mind up on the phone. She asked me to wait for her to make a final decision but I said no, i'm not waiting any longer (I mean she's had long enough already, nearly 8 months). Eventually we both agreed not to give it a go, she said I was harsh, I could tell she was hurt. She then said she won't text me or message me again and that we should no longer talk. I said ok best of luck, take care etc. She then asked me why I kept her number, I told her why and she said she had deleted mine. I don't know where that came from, was she hurt that's why she had to say something like that? Anyway the very next morning, I receive a text from her asking a final question. She wanted to know if I still had pictures of us together or if I had deleted them because she wanted them. I replied and said I would send her what I have on monday. She then replied and said thank you ps you will always be the love of my life. I didnt respond to that but I sent her the pics and she replied to that and said she has those pictures already and do I not have anymore. Obviously I would have sent them if I did so I havent bothered replying and i've heard nothing since yesterday. I just want to know what do you think she's doing? What's with wanting the pictures and telling me i'm the love of her life?
bbronco Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Well she definitely sounds confused! Putting the idea of missing you and getting back together in your head only to ask for more time to convince herself if this is what she wants is not fair to you. She has to have come to that conclusion before putting it all on the table like that. I can understand the worry of old problems resurfacing and the relationship reverting to how it was in the past. I think my ex has that same fear when I suggest trying again. However, it's not fair to stigmatize a new and improved future relationship without actually giving it a shot! I would say that she does want to get back together but maybe she hasn't been thoroughly convinced that this is what you want as well? That if it is what you truly want there will be a mutual effort to start a stronger relationship together? Then when she feels this is the case, she makes a goodbye threat but reaches out because she wants you to know she's probably hurt and confused, but in no way ready to really push you away. And she wants to make sure you'll still be receptive to her communicating after a hard "goodbye" type text in the case that she wants to bring up the topic of her feelings again in the future. You can only let her come to official terms with her feelings and wait, or if you really want her then pursue her how you know best...or NC altogether if you can!
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Hey everyone, here's some background info on my situation. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302961/ if you don't want to read it that's cool but I would really appreciate some insight. Sincere apologies for it being so long. A lot has happened since March 2011 when me and my ex of 3 yrs broke up. For the last 4 months there has been on and off contact, mostly initiated by her through emails and fb. Last month I had sent her a message basically telling her to go away, we're not together anymore and she replied saying 'don't worry I won't waste my time on you anymore'. I heard nothing until a few days ago where she had messaged me saying 'I still love you'. This was the first i've ever heard her say this since we broke up. I asked to talk on the phone, she agreed but wanted a few days as she was very nervous, had a lot going on and needed to figure out what she wanted to tell me apart from that she misses me. I called her saturday evening and we had about an hour long convo, we reminisced a lot and she told me her feelings and I told her mine. She still loves me, misses me and us and wanted me back but was confused about 1 thing. That was she was scared that things may go back to their old ways. I told her I still loved her, wanted her back if she could make her mind up on the phone. She asked me to wait for her to make a final decision but I said no, i'm not waiting any longer (I mean she's had long enough already, nearly 8 months). Eventually we both agreed not to give it a go, she said I was harsh, I could tell she was hurt. She then said she won't text me or message me again and that we should no longer talk. I said ok best of luck, take care etc. She then asked me why I kept her number, I told her why and she said she had deleted mine. I don't know where that came from, was she hurt that's why she had to say something like that? Anyway the very next morning, I receive a text from her asking a final question. She wanted to know if I still had pictures of us together or if I had deleted them because she wanted them. I replied and said I would send her what I have on monday. She then replied and said thank you ps you will always be the love of my life. I didnt respond to that but I sent her the pics and she replied to that and said she has those pictures already and do I not have anymore. Obviously I would have sent them if I did so I havent bothered replying and i've heard nothing since yesterday. I just want to know what do you think she's doing? What's with wanting the pictures and telling me i'm the love of her life? From my female opinion she probably wanted those pictures, just because she wanted contact still. I mean she probaby really does want to get back together but couldn't give you an answer in that instance and was hurt that you wouldn't give her a bit more time, but respected that because you have waited 8 months. At this point in time you probably are the love of her life. I don't see her doing this just randomly. It's been 8 months and she reached out. I may be WAY off base here, but I more less thinks she means it.
Author Numb121 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 bbronco thank you for your response Well you kinda hit the nail on the head by saying she might not think that getting back together is what I want completely. As we were talking on the phone, numerous times she said she doesn't want to tell me how she feels or what she wants completely because she feels that I've moved on or i'm a closed book. Those were her words. I told her straight up how I felt and that was, if she can tell me there and then as she has had plenty time to think about this, then I would like to give it a go. I reassured her that reconciling will be like starting a new relationship, we must let go off the past. She understood yet was still confused and asked for more time. I'm in a position where i'm not as bothered which way it goes. If only she was straight forward (which is the least I would expect by now) then my respect and feelings would grow strong for her. It's a shame really as I feel she's the one who blew it and was sort of expecting me to wait even more for her. So would you make out the pictures thing and the 'you will always be a love of my life' a sign of her still having feelings? Could it be likely she's wanting me to do a bit of chasing now? I certainly know in my gut that, that's what she was expecting me to do in these last 7 months but i'm a much stronger guy now, thank God.
Author Numb121 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 ChelseaLS thank you for your opinion. It's always great to have a female's perspective
Author Numb121 Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 Anyone else care to share their thoughts? I would really appreciate your opinions. I haven't heard from her since that last text 2 days ago.
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