mark-kram Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Hi all. A quick description of my situation - a couple of months ago a girl who was in my same university course and whom I known for the last 4 years started working for my same company. We were never close to each other but we had a good same course students relationship. I always liked her a bit but I know she was dating someone when we were at university but was now single for about the last year. I took the opportunity of her working in my same company to help her integrate and keep almost a daily contact through office chat or a couple of coffee's at the canteen. We also went for a coffee after work. Not knowing her feelings towards me I didn't want to rush it and risk it but I now have a BIG PROBLEM. There's another guy in my same department 2 years older then us, he's much more outgoing than I am, he's not shy at all and he started approaching her too these last weeks, I know they also chat on office chat, new friends on facebook and they seem to have a very friendly relationship like I, who have known her for years, have with her! I know his intentions, he pretends to be a womenizer but I'm afraid he's moving fast on her and that he can make it! We talked many times about private stuff and she mentioned how weird it is now with her friends almost all dating someone and she not. Last night we talked for hours on facebook till 1am and it got quite interesting talking even on ex-stories (she mentioned this...I would never start the argument!) she told me that she would love talking on such things live and not over chat and that we should organise something nice, she really put this nice and sweet. I was impressed that I have this great opportunity cause I was thinking of asking her out for some wine and nibbles next friday so I was ready that next thursday I would ask her out. Today we were on office chat and suggested that if we have some time we should go down for a coffee at the canteen or after work before she has her evening classes. We got a bit caught up with work and she put brb on chat, I saw that the other guy was also away from his desk and I went to the canteen to buy and I saw them there sitting on a table next to each other talking over a coffee! :mad: I was really pissed off cause I didn't know he was going to the canteen with her lately. Worst than this was that later I asked her if she's leaving soon cause usually we wait for each other and walk to the parking lot and she answered that she's sorry but won't make it for a coffee today as she got caught up with work now and won't manage to leave soon (I do know the real reason cause I saw her at the canteen, I guess she didn't see me). I really don't know what to do, if I still should ask her out or not. I felt that she lied to me and that she prefers the other guy and she talks to me just cause she's very nice and that type of person that never says no to anyone and not because she's interested in me as something more than a friend. Tomorrow I won't talk to her on chat to see if she takes the initiative but I know that if I don't ask her out this week, the other guy will gain even more advantage and I will not have this chance again, but I don't want to ask a friend out with the risk of her not wanting more than friends. What do you think? I need an impartial opinion. Thanks loads, I really need help
Author mark-kram Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 guys and gals i really do need opinions asap on this. Should I go for it given her attitude and interest shown towards me but i think also towards him. I would like a wine bar friday night, she would get the idea that this is not just a normal outing between friends, right? but should I go for it? My mind is biased, that's why i need external opinions to avoid any mistakes.
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