Fellas, what is your rejection rate?

[betterdeal]

All you guys who are actually saying that women don't care about looks must be picking up chicks at blind school. Women care about looks as much or more than men, and about money far more than men.

 

Ever heard of Serge Gainsbourg?

 

Just because a woman wants a guy whose hot with an amazing personality doesnt mean you're going to get in with just a good personality. Who the hell with any experience with women thinks that, except for the very , very attractive men?

 

Yes, because in an ideal world women would want men with no personality, who are stone cold broke, morbidly obese and have a face only a mother could love. Right?

 

I mean, what do you expect women to do? To have no preferences and fancy every man in the world? Doesn't it even slightly disconcert you that you're being completely irrational?

Edited November 23, 2011 by betterdeal

[MaxNoob]

WTF?

 

Asked out by 12 girls?!

 

Again, another really good looking guy?

 

 

Yes, 12 girls, and that's only counting the ones that explicitly asked me out. My face is asymmetrical, which is not supposed to be attractive. In sunlight I'm maybe a 4 and I'm treated like a normal person. But under dim or non uniform lighting my asymmetry isn't noticeable so I look like a 9. If there's some new girls in my social circle, chances are one of them will make an effort to sit next to me, start up a conversation, ask for my number and ask me out. Sometimes they look shocked when they realize my face isn't symmetrical, but other times their first impression was enough to overlook it.

 

Maybe I'll move to a town in the Arctic. No sunlight during the winter!

[phineas]

Nope.

 

Perhaps that's because I don't confuse buying signals with mixed signals.

 

This!

Oddly enough the only times I mixed the two up was when a woman confused another woman's mixed signals for buying signals & I went down in flames.

 

An example is I was out at a beer tent with a band, was with a group. One woman was flirting with me a little but while she appeared to be in the market for a man, she just wasn't placing any bids.

Basically I wasn't getting the vibe so I was basically letting her be.

It didn't stop her from periodically coming over to me & waving her gigantic breasts in a low-cut skin tight tee.

And when I say low-cut I mean the V ended half way to her belly button.

 

Well, as she was leaving she demurely invited me out to a bar that was just a few blocks from my house & my buddies GF told me I'd better go because she is into me. She wasn't clowning me either.

 

Normally i'd brush that stuff off but I was drinking LOL!

So I got dropped off at the bar & met her.

She introduced me to her BF.

 

I grabbed a beer, chatted up some one I went to HS with then walked home.

 

My buddies GF was actually very surprised & told me she feels sorry for her boyfriend because she acted kinda trampy.

 

didn't surprise me at all.

 

 

I've had women give me their numbers then not return my calls & I figured out what is going on there.

 

They wanted to hook up THAT night & didn't want to date & I was just too dense.

 

Once I learned to recognize which women were looking for hook-ups, dropping any lame excuse to get them to my house is all it took.

 

And I mean lame.

 

"i'm starving, think i'll go home & grill up a turkey burger" SURPRISE! she wanted one too.

[Feelsgoodman]

What do you define as buying signals?

 

Mixed signals im well aware of.

 

I had situations where a girl would hit on me and even ask me out...then flake last minute.

 

All you guys who are actually saying that women don't care about looks must be picking up chicks at blind school. Women care about looks as much or more than men, and about money far more than men.

 

Just because a woman wants a guy whose hot with an amazing personality doesnt mean you're going to get in with just a good personality. Who the hell with any experience with women thinks that, except for the very , very attractive men?

A few examples of buying signals: when you're talking, she listens intently without interrupting or checking her phone; she gets flustered if you maintain prolonged eye contact; generally acts a bit shy when you are around...All of those are indicators of her being attracted to you.

 

On the other hand, excessive friendliness, flirtatiousness and touchy-feely stuff are NOT necessarily indicators of her attraction to you. In fact, they are usually indicators of attention whoring behavior (the large breasted lady in Phineas' post above is a good example of that).

 

By the way, I never said that women don't care about looks. Quite the opposite, actually.

[phineas]

A few examples of buying signals: when you're talking, she listens intently without interrupting or checking her phone; she gets flustered if you maintain prolonged eye contact; generally acts a bit shy when you are around...All of those are indicators of her being attracted to you.

 

On the other hand, excessive friendliness, flirtatiousness and touchy-feely stuff are NOT necessarily indicators of her attraction to you. In fact, they are usually indicators of attention whoring behavior (the large breasted lady in Phineas' post above is a good example of that).

 

By the way, I never said that women don't care about looks. Quite the opposite, actually.

 

Women who make an effort to joke with me in a non sexual manner are the ones usually interested in me as opposed to the ones who get raunchy.

 

Though, I went out one night & had a woven belt from my fat days that was too long. I just looped it over itself & let it dangle down my front.

Didn't think anything of it.

Met a woman out & she kept tugging on it periodically through the night. I assumed tease so I just went for it figuring i'd be moving on.

 

I told her to give me her number. she did.

Then I told her we should go out to her car. we did.

Had a little fun, made out, no sex.

 

Her friend showed up.

We parted.

She never returned my call though.

I'm sure it had something to do with her being 10yrs younger than me.

Edited November 23, 2011 by phineas

[Wolf18]

Ever heard of Serge Gainsbourg?

 

 

 

Yes, because in an ideal world women would want men with no personality, who are stone cold broke, morbidly obese and have a face only a mother could love. Right?

 

I mean, what do you expect women to do? To have no preferences and fancy every man in the world? Doesn't it even slightly disconcert you that you're being completely irrational?

 

 

Hey sugartits why don't you read what I said.

 

I didn't say whether it was right or wrong, what I said was in response to the idiots who give advice like "be yourself and be a nice guy and women will like you even if you're ugly/not tall/bald/poor".

 

Personality only goes so far, that's my point, and it doesn't get you dates.

[SteveC80]

Hey sugartits why don't you read what I said.

 

I didn't say whether it was right or wrong, what I said was in response to the idiots who give advice like "be yourself and be a nice guy and women will like you even if you're ugly/not tall/bald/poor".

 

Personality only goes so far, that's my point, and it doesn't get you dates.

 

As a guy who in his prime did pretty well and was told he was "handsome" or whatever i have to agree,women value looks very very very much,wome are simple creatures who like shiny and pretty things

 

I dont know how many women would continue to pursue me evne though i showed no interest and at times showed disdain,if youre a good looking dude u can pretty much do what you please with most women

 

The few women who claim looks dont matter are the ones who have limited options and cant be picky with looks,it's not bcause therye on some superior moral ground then others and look past looks they just cant afford to hold it in high priority

[betterdeal]

Hey sugartits why don't you read what I said.

 

I didn't say whether it was right or wrong, what I said was in response to the idiots who give advice like "be yourself and be a nice guy and women will like you even if you're ugly/not tall/bald/poor".

 

Personality only goes so far, that's my point, and it doesn't get you dates.

 

Did you read what I said? Serge was ugly by any standards and still got the ladies, so it is an empirical fact some women (like Bridget Bardot, for instance) go for personality over looks.

 

http://joegore.com/sonicgore/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/jeanloup-sieff-serge-gainsbourg-1970.jpg

 

As for the merit of women who judge based on looks, fair point; I misread.

 

However, it's a matter of degrees and the degree to which women are judged by looks is much greater than the degree men are (see Serge), generally, and by both sexes i.e. men and women judge women far more critically than they do men.

 

So play to your strengths.

[SteveC80]

 

However, it's a matter of degrees and the degree to which women are judged by looks is much greater than the degree men are (see Serge), generally, and by both sexes i.e. men and women judge women far more critically than they do men.

 

 

BS looks are as important to women if not more

 

Sure some women will take a very rich and powerful man over looks if they can but the average women holds looks pretty highly if she has the ability to

[betterdeal]

BS looks are as important to women if not more

 

Sure some women will take a very rich and powerful man over looks if they can but the average women holds looks pretty highly if she has the ability to

 

Yes, mate.

[iris219]

Did you read what I said? Serge was ugly by any standards and still got the ladies, so it is an empirical fact some women (like Bridget Bardot, for instance) go for personality over looks.

 

http://joegore.com/sonicgore/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/jeanloup-sieff-serge-gainsbourg-1970.jpg

 

 

FTR, I don’t think Serge was ugly at all. I find him VERY sexy, in fact.

 

Looks are pretty subjective. I won't date someone I think is ugly (who would, really?), but I find a variety of different types of men attractive.

Edited November 23, 2011 by iris219

[betterdeal]

Well, yes, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. I'm thinking more along the lines of "classic good looks" and "ugly" not being the same as "attractive" and "unattractive", with the former being somewhat objective as being based on social norms and the latter subjective as being entirely personal.

[somedude81]

A few examples of buying signals: when you're talking, she listens intently without interrupting or checking her phone; she gets flustered if you maintain prolonged eye contact; generally acts a bit shy when you are around...All of those are indicators of her being attracted to you.

 

On the other hand, excessive friendliness, flirtatiousness and touchy-feely stuff are NOT necessarily indicators of her attraction to you. In fact, they are usually indicators of attention whoring behavior (the large breasted lady in Phineas' post above is a good example of that).

 

By the way, I never said that women don't care about looks. Quite the opposite, actually.

OK, I'm getting really confused.

 

If a girl acts shy it could be an indicator of her being attracted. So how do you tell the difference from her being shy and uninterested?

 

It's too much to assume that every girl who seems quiet is attracted to me.

[betterdeal]

It's too much to assume that every girl who seems quiet is attracted to me.

 

Why not? Just for one day, assume they do. You don't have to do anything with that knowledge, except maybe feel good about it.

[oaks]

I'm curious as to how other males

 

Men.

 

But anyway, my 'rejection rate' is about 500:1 or maybe 1000:1 - somewhere around there - but then I've been doing a lot of online dating in the last year.

[somedude81]

Why not? Just for one day, assume they do. You don't have to do anything with that knowledge, except maybe feel good about it.

Dude, that is a huge stretch for me to think that. It goes against basic human social conditioning. There is no way I can tell myself "Yeah that girl in the corner, who never talks to me, she thinks I'm hot."

 

I don't bother trying to have conversations with girls who seem to not like me. It's just weird to think that they are hard to talk to because she's attracted to me.

[Lonely Ronin]

If a girl acts shy it could be an indicator of her being attracted. So how do you tell the difference from her being shy and uninterested?

 

You have to learn about her and make a judgement call, it's that simple.

[betterdeal]

Dude, that is a huge stretch for me to think that. It goes against basic human social conditioning. There is no way I can tell myself "Yeah that girl in the corner, who never talks to me, she thinks I'm hot."

 

I don't bother trying to have conversations with girls who seem to not like me. It's just weird to think that they are hard to talk to because she's attracted to me.

 

Okay, just think of it as an extension of the Uncertainty Principle in physics. That girl is in a superstate of both linking and disliking you at the same time. Given that anyone's mind can change with new stimuli, she is indeed in such a superstate. If you want to determine which single state she is definitely in you have to approach her in some way, and the way you approach her will largely determine which single state she's in.

[Wolf18]

Some gal in a bar...on a dating site?

 

I meet women in hiking clubs, rock climbing, art classes, nature study groups and so on. The ratio of females is often 3 to 1 or so. You have a reason to chat, hang out together in a group, make plans as a group for the next outing.

 

How do you get to know a gal in a bar? I'm an average looking guy and I'm not going to do well in that setting. I need to use certain skills to my advantage...a gal has to get to know me before I suggest the two of us doing something. I have 100 per cent success but that's because I'm laying the foundatiion.

 

Plus, of course, this is the type of woman I'm interested in. We already have something compatable in our lifestyle.

 

The ratio at hiking clubs, rock climbing, and nature study groups is 3 females to 1 male

 

All the ones I've been to have been the exact opposite, men generally outnumber women 4-5-6 to 1 in these.

 

No idea about art classes though.

[Els]

The men I know average out at about 50-80% or so, from what they've told me.

 

I think rejection is something every man has faced before or will have to face someday - it's not easy, and guys have my deepest empathy for being the ones 'expected' by society to do the approaching/courting.

 

However, this is quite a double-edged sword, because as a man you are not usually looked down on by others when you try and fail - they will just tell you that rejection is a normal part of life for men. Whereas, if a woman is not approached, she really only has the option of waiting more or approaching herself. Rejection tends to be more painful then, as society tends to look down on women who approach as 'desperate', and shames those who are rejected.

 

Still, all this said and done, I still cannot imagine having to go up to a person and ask them out, and be rejected in the manner that I've seen some cold-hearted girls reject men. Yeah, I've never asked a guy out before. You guys have my kudos for sticking it out.

[alphamale]

So, what is your rejection numbers or success ratio? Roughly?

I ask a lot of women out and my success ratio is about 20%...its about 80% if the woman shows overt interest up front

 

usually I go in with an indifferent attitude, if she says no i don't care, if she says yes then thats great

Edited November 25, 2011 by alphamale

[Alexz]

0% rejection.

 

I only pursue women that express interest initially or there's an obvious chemistry.

 

Which happens often, so it works out well.

[counterman]

The men I know average out at about 50-80% or so, from what they've told me.

 

I think rejection is something every man has faced before or will have to face someday - it's not easy, and guys have my deepest empathy for being the ones 'expected' by society to do the approaching/courting.

 

However, this is quite a double-edged sword, because as a man you are not usually looked down on by others when you try and fail - they will just tell you that rejection is a normal part of life for men. Whereas, if a woman is not approached, she really only has the option of waiting more or approaching herself. Rejection tends to be more painful then, as society tends to look down on women who approach as 'desperate', and shames those who are rejected.

 

Still, all this said and done, I still cannot imagine having to go up to a person and ask them out, and be rejected in the manner that I've seen some cold-hearted girls reject men. Yeah, I've never asked a guy out before. You guys have my kudos for sticking it out.

 

Thank you! But I do know there are some girls who take pleasure in men getting rejected. I told one of my girl friends about how I approach girls and ask them out. Every time she comments on it, she has a snide, cynical under-tone, which is most likely because she's never been approached before and has never dated before. Here's where I like being a guy. If I want to do something about it, I just ask more girls out. This more or less leads to more dates. Most girls I know would never approach a guy, even if they've never dated before. They'll just wait and wait. Most of the average girls I know have been waiting quite a while.

 

All of the girls I have been rejected by have let me down soft; don't think I've ever experienced a harsh rejection before. But after working my way to a certain point, each rejection simply doesn't affect me whatsoever. I even laugh at it because it is pretty funny.

[Els]

Thank you! But I do know there are some girls who take pleasure in men getting rejected. I told one of my girl friends about how I approach girls and ask them out. Every time she comments on it, she has a snide, cynical under-tone, which is most likely because she's never been approached before and has never dated before. Here's where I like being a guy. If I want to do something about it, I just ask more girls out. This more or less leads to more dates. Most girls I know would never approach a guy, even if they've never dated before. They'll just wait and wait. Most of the average girls I know have been waiting quite a while.

 

All of the girls I have been rejected by have let me down soft; don't think I've ever experienced a harsh rejection before. But after working my way to a certain point, each rejection simply doesn't affect me whatsoever. I even laugh at it because it is pretty funny.

 

Hrm, the girls I know who take pleasure in beating a man down when he approaches, are usually the 'too-good-for-you hot stuff' that are approached too many times, not too few. They may not do it blatantly, but you can always see the little giggles and sniping comments after the guy leaves. Disgusting to ridicule another human like that for no good reason, IMO.

 

Yeah, many of my average-looking, but perfectly nice and sweet female friends have been waiting a while. Makes one wonder about the veracity of the claims of some men that 'no decent girl will ever go out with him'.

[MaxNoob]

A study showed that 98% of people have experienced unrequited love, which is at odds with all the people here claiming 0% rejection. But then, we'd get more people admitting an abysmal rejection rate with a randomized sample instead of asking whoever is willing to admit it.

 

You could still experience unrequited love without being rejected if you don't bother asking because you don't think you have a chance or don't see any signs of interest. But the thought of that is unbearable for me; when I'm in love, I have to at least try, regardless of my chances.