LifeIsGreat Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I made a huge mistake and prematurely broke up with a great lady, and now I want her back. Both in our 40's and only dated for about a month, but it was hot and heavy. Due to circumstances, we spent a lot of time together so it probably equates to about a 3 month 'normal' dating situation. Lately she was upset at me for the smallest things that I simply could not understand. Based on conversations, I believe that some of her 'issues' caused her to be scared and possibly sabatoge things (although I take full responsibility for my faults too). One evening I got very frustrated and ended things without proper communication (which I'm normally very good at). A few days later I tried to contact her but she wouldn't answer the phone. She sent me a text thanking me for being good to her but she was "pretty sure" I wasn't the one for her. She also said she really didn't want to talk to me. A couple days after that I sent a heartfelt email apologizing, taking responsibility, letting her know how much shes means to me, and asked for another chance-- but with NO pressure. Any chance I"ll ever hear from her? How long do you ladies take to simmer down, let some anger go, and realize/remember the good traits of your SO?
Emilia Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 It's possible that she was upset with you over the smallest things because she was looking for a way out
Author LifeIsGreat Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I thought about that, but frankly I don't think we have been together long enough for her to want a way out. From what she has said, I have been a great guy and have given her something she hasn't had in a long time.
monkey00 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 It's possible that she was upset with you over the smallest things because she was looking for a way out Yeah, that possible she was looking for a way out. What you mentioned some actions that guys do too can make her upset and quitting if she feels taken for granted or insecure about the relationship...so who knows. Sometimes things like these need time to simmer down. If she's still interested in giving it another go, she will respond to you or agree to meet up and make up.
Author LifeIsGreat Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 She allowed me to visit her in her home town, and then came back with me to my hometown (LDR). If she was looking for a way out, I find it hard to believe she would have made plans to come back with me. But, the real question is--- how long do women stay mad? I understand that I hurt her and she is mad over me breaking up with her. Frankly, I DON'T think that's what she really wanted. I'm curious how long it could take after reading my email for her to calm down and maybe reread it with a more open mind.
KathyM Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 If you are having fights and arguments after only one month of dating, then something is wrong there. Time to move on. You have shown her that you are not a match, and you can't be relied on as a partner. Dating is a testing period when two people are finding out if they are compatible and if their dating partner has potential for something more long term. You've shown that you are neither of those things, so I wouldn't try to beat this dead horse back to life. You're not a match. Don't waste time trying to make something work that does not work.
Author LifeIsGreat Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I really do appreciate the comments. And yes, I have enough experience to know when I could be possibly beating a dead horse. However, my main question is-- how long do women stay mad (as per my original post) in a situation like this?
anne1707 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 What makes you think she is mad at you? It could be that she has thought about this very calmly and has just decided that you are not right for each other. She is perfectly entitled to do that and the more you push her, the more you will prove that she is right.
KathyM Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I really do appreciate the comments. And yes, I have enough experience to know when I could be possibly beating a dead horse. However, my main question is-- how long do women stay mad (as per my original post) in a situation like this? I can't put a timeline on that. I would guess that it's not so much that she is still mad, but it is that she realizes there is no future for you as a couple based on incompatibility and she feels insecure now about your sticking with her for the long term, since you've already broken up with her once. I'd say she's not interested in getting back together with you for those reasons, and not because she's still mad.
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