Friend won't talk to me for something I didn't do

[MelodyRye]

I hurt him before a long while ago making him cried once and have been trying gaining back his friendship back since. He started talking to me again in mid October but yesterday someone spread false rumors about him on his facebook.

 

He thinks I'm doing it and now isn't talking to me. So after all that effort I lose him yet again. This time I got nothing to do at all. I don't know who is doing it. I've tried explaining him but he's even more upset than last time.

 

He started calling me a liar, phony and how he shouldn't have fall for it again. Is there a way I can find out who is behind this so he can know it's not me? He doesn't believe a single word I say but I'm being honest this time. I didn't do it.

[whichwayisup]

Can I ask what you did to hurt him in the past?

 

He is protecting his heart and hasn't fully turned the corner when it comes to trusting you again. This is why he is thinking whatever rumours that are going on involves you.

 

Do 2 things. One, write him an email, a heartfelt and genuinally honest email telling him that this has nothing to do with you, that you learned your lesson in the past and promised you'd never hurt him again. Tell him you care about him and hope that he believes you.

 

Then, give him space..Leave him alone for a while. He needs to find out on his own/figure it out, that this has nothing to do with you.

 

Unfortunately, maybe the hurt from the past is too deep and he's having trouble working through it and may never want to be as close to you as before.

 

Don't force or be pushy, it'll make him shut the door forever.

[MelodyRye]

Do 2 things. One, write him an email, a heartfelt and genuinally honest email telling him that this has nothing to do with you, that you learned your lesson in the past and promised you'd never hurt him again. Tell him you care about him and hope that he believes you.

I just send him an email about an hour ago and still haven't received any reply from him.

 

Regarding the past issue, I once played a mean prank on him and one day he was there behind me. He heard everything I said to my former friends and left crying. I regret what I did to him at that time but thought he had forgiven me. I thought we would start all over again.

 

Just when I'm not doing any of that, being honest and learned my lesson it blows up in my face and it feels as if I'm back to nothing again.

Edited November 22, 2011 by MelodyRye

[whichwayisup]

I just send him an email about an hour ago and still haven't received any reply from him.

 

Regarding the past issue, I once played a mean prank on him and one day he was there behind me. He heard everything I said to my former friends and left crying. I regret what I did to him at that time but thought he had forgiven me. I thought we would start all over again.

 

Just when I'm not doing any of that, being honest and learned my lesson it blows up in my face and it feels as if I'm back to nothing again.

 

I do remember your situation from before.

 

He may have forgiven you but the trust level isn't/wasn't there. When someone gets hurt, has their heart broken, sometimes it takes alot longer to trust afterwards.

 

Don't sit and wait for a reply. He may take his time getting back to you, could be tomorrow, next week, or a month from now. You sent the email, now leave him alone to decide if he feels he wants to continue the friendship. You can't push.. This isn't about you now it's about him, so if/when he replies or calls, reaffirm that you adore him, care for him and he is your friend and that you'd never do anything to hurt him or betray his trust, and that you hope he knows this by your actions after that last incident.

[MelodyRye]

I do remember your situation from before.

Yes this is the update. Not good.

 

I guess hopefully he'll find out I'm not behind this and talk to me again. I miss him.