SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 So me and my g/f of 2-3 years broke up last month. The reason was that it was fading and she felt pushed away becuase I wouldn't spend much time with her. I was stressed with school and she was stressed with work and going back to school for another degree. (I'm 21 and she's 24). We had a calm break up with the occasional angry fight but it wasn't severe. We never once cursed or yelled at eachother. It just slowly drifted away becuase our emotions got in the way of our feelings. I was ready to turn the relationship around after I finished my week of 4 tests (I'm in nursing school). At the day of my last test, she got into a car accident (no injuries thank god) and everything just fell to pieces and that's when she decided to cut it off. I accepted the break up and I know all my mistakes. I told her that I am working on it and she said she believes me. I told her to take this time so she can fix her mistakes as well and if she does decide to come back things will be much better with no mistakes at all. She said that there are times where she is fine, and then there's times where she feels really sad. She already got past the "angry phase" of our break up but is still hurt that I pushed her away. She said "n i want to be alone for awhile and i think it will be good not saying nething will or will not come of it just saying". I don't go texting her first I let her text me first and she said "hey, i missed you today". I'm trying to keep it low contact rather then no contact. Is there any hope? She rarely goes out, doesn't go to bars or parties like that. We are both laid back people and we are eachother's first love. We don't have no people drama per say. Inputs please.
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I am a very hopeful person, but I think it would be best if you can do what I am doing (I am struggling... but I am trying). You need to let go and move on. If she comes back great, if not then your on your way. Respect her request for time and space.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I am a very hopeful person, but I think it would be best if you can do what I am doing (I am struggling... but I am trying). You need to let go and move on. If she comes back great, if not then your on your way. Respect her request for time and space. Thank you for your response. I am hopeful person to. I'm not ready to let go only becuase I want to hang in there until I have a garunteed answer that its completely over. I don't want to run into the even that if she does come back and if I moved on. I'm a patient person and I really don't have time at the moment to start a new relationship. If she still sad and still misses me then there is some kind of hope. As long as I don't pressure her etc then everything will be fine. Stuff like this happens in relationships and if it fixes then it will be stronger then before.
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I think you need to ask yourself if you miss her or the companionship?... Do some soul searching and figure it out. If you want to hang on that is your prerogative, but you should be prepared to be hurt again and live in limbo until you get that answer. Honestly I don't think you are doing yourself any favours, but I do understand why you want too. Are you ready to spend all that time waiting around only for her to say "No we are done"? I know its a hard question to ask yourself, but its realistic.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I think you need to ask yourself if you miss her or the companionship?... Do some soul searching and figure it out. If you want to hang on that is your prerogative, but you should be prepared to be hurt again and live in limbo until you get that answer. Honestly I don't think you are doing yourself any favours, but I do understand why you want too. Are you ready to spend all that time waiting around only for her to say "No we are done"? I know its a hard question to ask yourself, but its realistic. I understand what you mean. I'm actually content with waiting. I am working on myself and my head is much more clear. I am in a whaterever mood you can say. I'm not hurt about the break up anymore. And I do miss her in terms of relationship and what we had. I have no problem at all giving her her space. But it feels as if she is more sad about the break up then I am and I guess that is a good thing. I been keeping myself occupied and taking it day by day.
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Well if you think your good with waiting then like I said thats your prerogative. I really hope it works out. Like I said I am a hopeful person but for myself I know that I cannot wait, I need to move forward. Good luck.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Well if you think your good with waiting then like I said thats your prerogative. I really hope it works out. Like I said I am a hopeful person but for myself I know that I cannot wait, I need to move forward. Good luck. Thank you. Every person is different. I just have high patience. It does feel like she'll be back. Her attitude from the begining of the break up to now as been more positive. Before she used to be angry and hateful, now she is sad about it. But she still says she misses me...I guess that's why I am hanging on. It's not like we ended on bad terms where there was lieing and cheating and cursing...none of that at all. Anything is fair game now.
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I hear ya. That is how me and my ex ended... on good terms. I am just really emotionally attached and need to be ready for the worst... so I must move on.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 I hear ya. That is how me and my ex ended... on good terms. I am just really emotionally attached and need to be ready for the worst... so I must move on. Yea but me being an EMT and RN...I just don't give up on people until I know its flat lined lol...and so far its not.
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Lol I like the analogy. I am not giving up per se... I am being prepared. I can't force him. I have done my soul searching and I want him back because I love him, not because I need him. But if he doesn't feel the same way... well like I said, I can't force him.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Lol I like the analogy. I am not giving up per se... I am being prepared. I can't force him. I have done my soul searching and I want him back because I love him, not because I need him. But if he doesn't feel the same way... well like I said, I can't force him. Exactly. I was able to clear up my end and discover my feelings. I changed so many things that she wanted me to change. We discussed our mistakes and I pretty much fixed a good portion of them. I told her I would like to show her the changed me but she still needs time. In a way I'm kinda glad this happened now that I see my mistakes to fix them. Its just up to her to see if she wants to be with the changed me or not...but like you said...can't force her. But can sure as hell make it difficult for her to leave
ChelseaLS Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Haha too funny! I said that to my ex... that I thought this break was a good thing, because if we were ever to have a hope of a relationship together in the future we needed time to figure out our areas we needed to work on and it had to be done alone, because we just keep getting caught up in the same rut.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Haha too funny! I said that to my ex... that I thought this break was a good thing, because if we were ever to have a hope of a relationship together in the future we needed time to figure out our areas we needed to work on and it had to be done alone, because we just keep getting caught up in the same rut. Lol that's some coincidence. But who knows what will happen...really hope for the best.
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