irc333 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Are there some women out there that are non-discriminatory when it comes to not engaging men in conversation (unless it's face to face of course), perhaps online then. That no matter how attractive the guy is, or it doesn't really matter to her, she just has her "shields" up, and has some kind of personal policy in engaging in conversation with a man, just in case he might try to ask her out sometime? Reason I ask is, there was this biking group I was a member of, and I asked a male friend about said woman, and he said, "Yeah, she's a tough nut to crack", every guy who had some kind of interest in her, she she shot down or just would not even be receptive to their emails through FB or whatever the special interest site they contacted her though. Do attractive women just get sick of being asked out? Do some have this air of mistrust?
grkBoy Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Seen plenty of women like that. Usual story...she loved someone who burned her badly. Now she can't trust men in general. BAGGAGE!
ja123 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Maybe she's a lesbian. It's possible, you know.
ShannonMI Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Seen plenty of women like that. Usual story...she loved someone who burned her badly. Now she can't trust men in general. BAGGAGE! Hasn't EVERYONE been burned by someone they love at some point? Come on. That's not baggage, that's life. Baggage is more like kids, debt, drug problems, emotional problems and disorders etc. etc.
ShannonMI Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Are there some women out there that are non-discriminatory when it comes to not engaging men in conversation (unless it's face to face of course), perhaps online then. That no matter how attractive the guy is, or it doesn't really matter to her, she just has her "shields" up, and has some kind of personal policy in engaging in conversation with a man, just in case he might try to ask her out sometime? Reason I ask is, there was this biking group I was a member of, and I asked a male friend about said woman, and he said, "Yeah, she's a tough nut to crack", every guy who had some kind of interest in her, she she shot down or just would not even be receptive to their emails through FB or whatever the special interest site they contacted her though. Do attractive women just get sick of being asked out? Do some have this air of mistrust? Is she even single? She might have a boyfriend. Or maybe she just doesn't want to date right now. There are some people that feel that way. It's not totally unheard of. I think attractive women DO sometimes get sick of being asked out or hit on. Especially if they are with someone or just not interesting in dating at the moment.
Feelsgoodman Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Reason I ask is, there was this biking group I was a member of, and I asked a male friend about said woman, and he said, "Yeah, she's a tough nut to crack", every guy who had some kind of interest in her, she she shot down or just would not even be receptive to their emails through FB or whatever the special interest site they contacted her though. Do attractive women just get sick of being asked out? Do some have this air of mistrust? The answer is contained in your own post. They are tired of every joe schmoe trying to make a move on them. They also have an inflated sense of self-worth because they are literally showered with male attention. I'm sure she would be a lot more receptive if the guy trying to "crack her nut" was a handsome millionaire as opposed to some average dude in her biking group.
daphne Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Do attractive women just get sick of being asked out? Do some have this air of mistrust? They aren't so much sick of being asked out. They are probably tired of a guys who don't know how to back off when she says no. As a guy, most won't understand teh concept of how it feels to deal with full on aggressive male behavior with multiple men. Currently, I am consistently turning down 4 different guys. 2 I work with, the others are friends from different activities. I have resorted to pulling the bf card and almost ignoring them. I do not relish hurting a guy's feelings by being overly blunt. It is truly exhausting telling the same men over and over that you are not interested without being a bitch. They don't respect your boundaries, and that's frustrating. So you put up your wall to keep any more of these would be suitors out.
shocked_confused Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I'm definitely one of those women you are talking about, maybe not to the extreme. Sometimes it's not because we're not interested or are sick of being hit on. In most situations I'm pretty outgoing, but when it comes to dating men I'm a lot more reserved/shy. I'm one of those people that have to be completely comfortable with the guy before I let down my shield (could be because I've been burned in the past, as someone has mentioned). If he's patient with me, he'll be lucky enough to see what a funny, goofy, smart, and great girl I am. But not many guys stick around long enough to realize that in my experience So, I guess just be patient and take baby steps with her?
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Are there some women out there that are non-discriminatory when it comes to not engaging men in conversation (unless it's face to face of course), perhaps online then. That no matter how attractive the guy is, or it doesn't really matter to her, she just has her "shields" up, and has some kind of personal policy in engaging in conversation with a man, just in case he might try to ask her out sometime? Reason I ask is, there was this biking group I was a member of, and I asked a male friend about said woman, and he said, "Yeah, she's a tough nut to crack", every guy who had some kind of interest in her, she she shot down or just would not even be receptive to their emails through FB or whatever the special interest site they contacted her though. Do attractive women just get sick of being asked out? Do some have this air of mistrust? Maybe she just wants to enjoy some biking. Maybe she wants to observe someone and see how he is for awhile. When I'm in a group like that, and if were open to dating men I met there, I'd be seeing how a guy acts around other women and how he treated his GF before I'd consider anything that left the impression of reciprocal interest. It isn't an air of mistrust... it is being selective... Women know when they are being talked about, BTW, and some aren't necessarily thrilled about it. Keep it up and you might just lose any chance with her.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I'm sure she would be a lot more receptive if the guy trying to "crack her nut" was a handsome millionaire as opposed to some average dude in her biking group. I've turned down millionaires... they put their pants on just like anyone else.
Author irc333 Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 (edited) I'm definitely one of those women you are talking about, maybe not to the extreme. Sometimes it's not because we're not interested or are sick of being hit on. In most situations I'm pretty outgoing, but when it comes to dating men I'm a lot more reserved/shy. I'm one of those people that have to be completely comfortable with the guy before I let down my shield (could be because I've been burned in the past, as someone has mentioned). If he's patient with me, he'll be lucky enough to see what a funny, goofy, smart, and great girl I am. But not many guys stick around long enough to realize that in my experience So, I guess just be patient and take baby steps with her? Indeed that's what I'll do Women know when they are being talked about, BTW, and some aren't necessarily thrilled about it. Keep it up and you might just lose any chance with her. Not sure what you mean, but whatever. People talk about other people all the time when it comes to someone they have an interest in, it's natural....women probably do it more frequently than men do. I'm sure they even have a 3 way conference call no doubt on the phone, "Hey, what do you think about Ted?" "What do you think about Bill" etc etc. I'm sure women have their jam sessions about the men they know through their social circles. It's quite common. Edited November 21, 2011 by irc333
oaks Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I've turned down millionaires... they put their pants on just like anyone else. Did they take their pants off before or after you turned them down?
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Maybe she just wants to enjoy some biking. Maybe she wants to observe someone and see how he is for awhile. When I'm in a group like that, and if were open to dating men I met there, I'd be seeing how a guy acts around other women and how he treated his GF before I'd consider anything that left the impression of reciprocal interest. It isn't an air of mistrust... it is being selective... Women know when they are being talked about, BTW, and some aren't necessarily thrilled about it. Keep it up and you might just lose any chance with her. This. Maybe she joined the group for anything and everything BUT getting hit on? Maybe she's just straight up not interested in anyone who approaches her. Why open up to someone she's not interested in?
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Irc333: Have you ever had a girlfriend? Or a long term relationship?
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Not sure what you mean, but whatever. People talk about other people all the time when it comes to someone they have an interest in, it's natural....women probably do it more frequently than men do. I'm sure they even have a 3 way conference call no doubt on the phone, "Hey, what do you think about Ted?" "What do you think about Bill" etc etc. I'm sure women have their jam sessions about the men they know through their social circles. It's quite common. I tend to make up my own mind about people. I don't find gossiping attractive... There was a guy at work who was interested in me... I saw him pointing me out to some guys he was sitting with at the lunch table... Instant turn-off. I have no idea what he said... didn't matter. I figured that if I did agree to date him, he'd be sharing his stories like a silly high school kid.
Star Gazer Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Why is this relevant whatsoever? Because he makes a lot of erroneous assumptions about women and regularly demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of them, despite putting every single female specimen under his microscope.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Did they take their pants off before or after you turned them down? Both... but not in front of me one of them endowed a chair at my grad school. Had a measly million to give away just because. His idea of fun was flying to Vegas for the weekend. He was a nice guy... we just didn't have that much in common. Another one was kind of a dirtbag... seemed kind of sleezy. Not sure why. Just a bad vibe. Only went on a few dates with that one.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Because he makes a lot of erroneous assumptions about women and regularly demonstrates a complete lack of understanding of them, despite putting every single female specimen under his microscope. I don't mind his posts. He's nowhere near as mean spirited as some others here. He seems like he's just trying to figure things out.
Wolf18 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Yeah I get the sense that IRC is taking all the advice women on here give men but finding that everything guys like me say is closer to the truth.
dasein Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Currently, I am consistently turning down 4 different guys. 2 I work with, the others are friends from different activities. Could you share some more of exactly what they do in carrying on this persistence? Do you think it's because they have bad preconceived notions about persistence paying off?
Author irc333 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 (edited) He was douche for pointing, it's rude to point and drew attention himself. I'd at least be out of the building before I start talking about my interest in someone. Gossiping is making up things about people that aren't necessarily true. Saying, "I like Tina, she's cute, I think I might ask her out with your friends" is not really gossiping actually. Women are probably 10 times worse at it more so than men. LOL I tend to make up my own mind about people. I don't find gossiping attractive... There was a guy at work who was interested in me... I saw him pointing me out to some guys he was sitting with at the lunch table... Instant turn-off. I have no idea what he said... didn't matter. I figured that if I did agree to date him, he'd be sharing his stories like a silly high school kid. Edited November 22, 2011 by irc333
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 He was douche for pointing, it's rude to point and drew attention himself. I'd at least be out of the building before I start talking about someone. :) Well, I would have found out eventually. The place was like a fishbowl. Which is why I've only considered dating two men I've worked with in my entire 20 yr career...
Feelsgoodman Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I've turned down millionaires... they put their pants on just like anyone else. I've turned down super models...they bleed once a month just like everyone else. Wait...what were we talking about?
dizy Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Thats a good question. I don't think that attractive woman is sick of being asked out. She is just one of the women who wont waste her time on people that shes not interested in. I would personally go meet guys that I am not interested in, just to make new friends, but I won't flirt with people that I am not interested in. So it really differs from a person to another.
Star Gazer Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 She is just one of the women who wont waste her time on people that shes not interested in. This! Why is this so hard for some men to understand??
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