Tell me my negative view on women/dating is unjustified for my own sanity.

[phineas]

Maybe young girls today are much more sexually free than they were when we were growing up!

 

In HS and Uni there was always that "one" girl in a group known to get around- but a whole whack of them? I remember in Uni I kissed 2 different guys in the same weekend and I felt bad about myself:laugh:

 

I'd have to say DTF is the new mantra of women in their 20's.

God bless 'em.

[D-Lish]

yea, I think things are different for both genders in terms of sexuality than they were when we were growing up.

 

Agreed. I lost my virginity at 19 to a long term bf I had dated for months!

 

I'd have to say DTF is the new mantra of women in their 20's.

God bless 'em.

 

Okay, I have to ask- what is DTF?

Down to ****?

I'm 42, I can't keep up with the slang :-D

[Pyro]

Meh. I've had much worse experiences with men—both as an involved party and as a spectator—than the OP has had with women. Still I'm not going to be bitter and angry at all of them based on a few knuckleheads who weren't good enough for me.

 

and this right here is a healthy and rational view on the opposite sex. It is a shame that there are those who are incapable of looking at things that way.

 

OP at the young age of 22 you will have PLENTY more women come through your life. If you start thinking negatively about them now then you are in for a very long angry and bitter life where you will spend hours on the internet spewing your hate on random message boards and purposely looking for negative crap online just to backup your claims/fears.

 

Do you really want a life like that?

 

Just take the experience as a learning experience and you will grow from it and your next relationship will be better.

[futuregopher]

Agreed. I lost my virginity at 19 to a long term bf I had dated for months!

 

 

 

Okay, I have to ask- what is DTF?

Down to ****?

I'm 42, I can't keep up with the slang :-D

 

You're 42?!? No way. From that picture you look like you're mid 20's.

[futuregopher]

and this right here is a healthy and rational view on the opposite sex. It is a shame that there are those who are incapable of looking at things that way.

 

OP at the young age of 22 you will have PLENTY more women come through your life. If you start thinking negatively about them now then you are in for a very long angry and bitter life where you will spend hours on the internet spewing your hate on random message boards and purposely looking for negative crap online just to backup your claims/fears.

 

Do you really want a life like that?

 

Just take the experience as a learning experience and you will grow from it and your next relationship will be better.

 

I try to keep optimistic but from what I've witnessed first hand and from what I read here on LS, it's hard to stay that way. I just don't want to be up for a rude awakening and be like "oh ****".

 

Most of the interactions I have with women in normal day conditions are fine. It's only when I go out to the bars that my optimism fades a bit. It's even worse when I see normal girls imo during the day do a 180 when they go out. But these ARE college bars so yeah...

[Pyro]

I try to keep optimistic but from what I've witnessed first hand and from what I read here on LS, it's hard to stay that way. I just don't want to be up for a rude awakening and be like "oh ****".

 

Most of the interactions I have with women in normal day conditions are fine. It's only when I go out to the bars that my optimism fades a bit. It's even worse when I see normal girls imo during the day do a 180 when they go out. But these ARE college bars so yeah...

 

I'm going to stop you right there. DO NOT EVER take what you read here as a representation of what the norm is. A few years ago maybe, but this place has gotten worse as of late.

 

You will come across some bad women in your life, but not all of them. Just keep your ears and eyes open and be on alert for any red flags. At 22 you still do have tons to learn in regards to relationships but that comes with experience. You will never learn anything useful unless you put yourself out there. No pain no gain.

 

Bars are not always the best place to meet a possible mate......

[monkey00]

I think when I was your age I had a similar mindset about women. But I did persist a lot, and I only had success about 1 out of 10 times. Funny thing is when you're young, it's all about immediate success/gratification of hard work being rewarded but that is not always the case in the dating scene. You will have tons more failures than rewards. I also feel like some of that desperation/lack of experience comes out as a vibe and women do a good job at sensing this when someone is eager to pick-up at a bar/etc.

 

Trust me, it gets better with age. When you get older into your late 20's, you'll even wonder what was the big deal about women or this post to begin with.

[ChessPieceFace]

I try to keep optimistic but from what I've witnessed first hand and from what I read here on LS, it's hard to stay that way.

 

Even more telling than the depressing outlook of some guys on LS like me, is the bitter, hateful, vindictive trolling of some of the ladies here who think they are doing their gender a favor by "putting us in our place." When ironically what they are doing is proving my point. Where's the compassion and empathy, ladies? Oh yeah, you don't have any. Thanks for once again proving it.

 

Most of the interactions I have with women in normal day conditions are fine. It's only when I go out to the bars that my optimism fades a bit. It's even worse when I see normal girls imo during the day do a 180 when they go out. But these ARE college bars so yeah...

 

When you go to bars, you will be meeting people who... like going to bars. That is not at all a good cross-section of humanity. Especially for those (like me) who dislike that aspect of people. I know guys who worked in bars and got morosely depressed about women, and much of it was from the fact that they started to believe that all women were the same as the women they met in bars. I would advise finding other places to meet people.

[the wizard]

DTF means down to ****, which is an alarming number of women. These guys aren't on here calling women whores for no reason. I remember it was hard to come across a woman who just wanted a good stuffing, but now its incredibly difficult to come across a woman who hasn't had the sexual experience of a porn actress. What is going on with the youth?

[dasein]

Females who are old and over 30, are pretty useless to a modem Man.

 

That's just your peepee talking.

[Woggle]

I agree that it is the complete lack of empathy for men that reinforces my views.

[RiverRunning]

You've got your blinders on because you date women. I can empathize because I'm in a similar place, only in regards to men. The difference is that I understand it's irrational and biased. I haven't dated EVERY guy out there. The folks I've met probably have more to say about me - I'm attracted to something in these men that leads me to be pretty dissatisfied with the resulting relationship. Or they treat me like crap. Or something altogether.

 

I generally see guys as entitled and only concerned about what's between their legs. But I also know that my brain, once it decided on this bias, has decided to filter out the times when I saw guys acting in great ways. When I see dads holding their little kids' hands, when I see men treating their girlfriends decently out in public, etc. It sounds like you're going through the same thing, and it's understandable - you're in a bad place right now.

 

But this lack of respect towards the opposite sex ("I can't believe how easy it was" - she was probably thinking the same about you) is going to shoot you in the future when you try to forge relationships with women.

 

Take your time to recover. Stop chasing tail.

 

A lot of women will say things they don't mean because they're trying to appear like good people. So, "I'm not attracted" becomes "I'm not ready to date right now." And a guy who is good-looking enough is sometimes enough to convince a girl who isn't 'ready' that she IS ready. That's just the way it goes. Men tend to be more forthcoming about how they really feel.

 

But as far as dissing people who aren't attractive, I've seen men do the same thing. This is not an isolated "only women care about looks." In general, younger, college-aged people care more about looks because they care most about tail. As you get a little older, people mature and care more about other qualities. But if you're in a bar looking for women - what do you expect? I'm not saying that there aren't ANY girls there looking for something meaningful, but let's be real here. They're likely there to get a hot catch for the night before they go home, and that's all.

 

Reconsider where you look for women. Reconsider how you approach women. Consider what qualities you are searching for in women that lead you to find women who repeatedly and openly reject you.

 

There are women out there who DO NOT CARE all that much what you look like. Average Joe? Awesome! Kind of ugly? Great! Kind of hot? Woo-hoo! Looks have never been super-important to me. That's not to say that I find the 'average' guys I date 'average' - I think they're incredibly sexy. But I acknowledge that in the general sense, they are not "Mr. Stud."

 

And Asian guys? I posted in that one thread about how I have a thing for Asian guys. Love 'em. There are exceptions to every rule and someone out there to love every person.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Females who are old and over 30, are pretty useless to a modem Man.

 

That works for me... I can't say I'm interested in modem men either...

 

Now, show me a cable man!! Hubba hubba!!

 

__________________________________________________________

 

... to the OP... Everyone (of either gender) has had their moments where they feel it is 'all' women or 'all' men.

 

The difference is finding people (both men and women) who will help you get out of that rut... either to make better choices, find a different crowd, or improve yourself in some way.

 

Not sure how long you've been posting here... but I'd recommend staying away from the threads that keep you in that vortex of despair... the ones that mainly trash women and people who like to simmer in their hatred. Misery loves company, is what I say. Not sure how that would be helping you.

 

Thinking like this (overly negative) CAN possibly make it difficult for you to relate to a genuinely nice woman you meet down the road.

 

Good luck!

[phineas]

 

 

 

Okay, I have to ask- what is DTF?

Down to ****?

I'm 42, I can't keep up with the slang :-D

 

yep.

I'm 40 in Jan.

I wouldn't know what it meant if it wern't for Jersey Shore.

[Pyro]

I agree that it is the complete lack of empathy for men that reinforces my views.

 

you are reinforcing your own views. Whether any of us like it or not there will ALWAYS be those who have no empathy for the opposite sex, both men and women. There is no way to get rid of it. All you can do is to avoid reading about it but that involves not purposely looking for it like you do all the time.

[D-Lish]

yep.

I'm 40 in Jan.

I wouldn't know what it meant if it wern't for Jersey Shore.

 

I'm 42 in Toronto and didn't know it, just assumed that's what it meant.

[dasein]

I thought it meant "doomed to fail."

[D-Lish]

I thought it meant "doomed to fail."

 

Not far off- utimately those that are DTF too early, are doomed to fail in a relationship...