Tell me my negative view on women/dating is unjustified for my own sanity.

[futuregopher]

I have a pretty negative view of women right now. Some things over the past three months that have caused this. I'm 22 finishing up my senior year of college.

 

- My gf of 2 years broke up with me 5 days after I visited her in Chicago when I live in NJ in early August. Our relationship was great or so I thought. She said work was stressing her out, didn't want to date me or anyone else. Her relationship status changed to nothing after she took off our "in a relationship with xx" status. Except for the past two months, she's been hanging out one on one with this guy after telling me she didn't want to date anyone. WTF. Her relationship status still says nothing.

 

- How loose some women are at the bars when they hook up with randoms. Granted that happens when you go to a bar.

 

- I was walking out of the dance floor at a campus bar and one girl is suddenly all over me and I end up spending the night with her. This was my first ONS ever b/c I had two two year relationships and I had only been with those 2 girls before that. So this random girl was #3 but I can't believe how easy it was. My own fault.

 

- Two of my friend's friends bang the same girl in two consecutive days. She's average looking and dresses quite promiscuously so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

 

- I have an african american friend who says that women are only attracted to money and status. He keeps telling me that all the good women are all taken when they're young so I'm screwed. But this is also the same person that has said asian men are at the bottom of the dating social ladder. There is a thread "white women will never date asian guys" that is about his views somewhere on this forum. He says most women are evil. I always take what he says with a grain of salt.

 

- I was dancing with this girl a couple of weeks ago. Things are going pretty well and we go to get a drink where her friends are. One of her friends that's by the bar says "THIS is who you're with?". In my mind I was like WTF? You don't even know me. Have you guys seen the snickers commercial where the a guy goes off on two girls at a party b/c they "look" at some other guy? I was about to go off on that girl like the snickers guy but I walk away. But these girls were in an asian sorority and they're known to be very closed minded.

 

- I started a thread on "Dating in NYC" a few weeks ago and the responses generally went along the lines of "dating is horrible here", "all the good girls have been taken up while they're young", "good luck; you'll need it".

 

- I met this one girl through mutual friends. I am not attracted to this girl but there was this guy that was hitting on her. So I was like, you should talk to that guy in. Then she tells me that "she doesn't want to date anyone right now". Okay, I feel the same exact way after what happened between me and my ex so in my mind I'm thinking I'm not alone. BUT 3 days later, we all go to a birthday party for a friend, she meets someone and he asks her to go out on a date. One week later, they're in a relationship on facebook!!! I am not attracted to her AT ALL but I was in disbelief at how women say one thing an do another. I am sure men do this but for me to witness it first hand was just shocking.

 

Please tell me my negative view on women is unjustified for my own sanity. I am a relationship type of guy and I'm losing hope that I will find a good girlfriend.

[InJest]

Your view is not unjustified, but you have to remember that it doesn't pertain to all women..just most of them.

 

What's worked for me is to look at every woman I don't know as a whore. That doesn't mean you act foul to them, or talk down to them, or anything like that. I treat everyone I don't know(whores included) with the same basic level of human respect and increase that respect for them as they prove they're deserving of it. What I mean is, don't expect women to act like anything other than whores, and let the individual prove to you that she's not one. Whores aren't all bad either; it's good to have placeholders while you look for real partners.

[Ginger Beer]

I feel similar to the OP. My opinions of women have been damaged thanks to past experiences to the point where I'm not very fond of them.

 

Even female friends I've had, they will tell me how their own girl friends are sluts and will tell me the stuff they get up to and it's just depressing to think all women are like that.

 

There must be some honest, genuine, unselfish women in the world surely?

[ChessPieceFace]

Women are less moral and more opportunistic than men. Most of the negative things you said about women are true. The main thing to provide hope is that you don't need to spend your life with the majority of women, you just need to find 1 that is worthwhile.

[joystickd]

Women are less moral and more opportunistic than men. Most of the negative things you said about women are true. The main thing to provide hope is that you don't need to spend your life with the majority of women, you just need to find 1 that is worthwhile.

 

Both genders are that way.

[Wolf18]

Sorry OP. Better start accepting it.

[oaks]

I have a pretty negative view of women right now. Some things over the past three months that have caused this. I'm 22 finishing up my senior year of college.

 

That's a pretty long list of issues. Is it true to say that they are/were nearly all college girls or teenagers? I don't think those groups of women are representative of all women in their approach to men/sex/dating/relationships etc., so try to keep an open mind for when you meet a nice woman who has grown up a little bit.

[ThsAmericanLife]

You've come to the wrong place if you want to hear anything constructive whatsoever about women or relationships.

 

If you want to hang with lots of bitter, angry guys... then stick around. You'll fit right in.

[Wolf18]

That's a pretty long list of issues. Is it true to say that they are/were nearly all college girls or teenagers? I don't think those groups of women are representative of all women in their approach to men/sex/dating/relationships etc., so try to keep an open mind for when you meet a nice woman who has grown up a little bit.

 

 

You know honestly, I think as women get older they grow colder. IN high school a lot of women were bitches, but there were some who were sweet and caring. In college on the other hand every girl just strikes me as a viper; shallow, materialistic, and snobby. Women in their mid to late 20's seem pretty unattainable and think they're better than everyone too. Don't know many [female] people in their 30's.

[ThsAmericanLife]

Few men become bitter or angry overnight.

 

neither do women... but you don't see them coming here starting every thread with negative stereotypes about men...

 

or hijacking every thread to whine non-stop about why all women suck (and not very good at it either, according to the trolls... okay, that was my attempt at humor )

[ThsAmericanLife]

You know honestly, I think as women get older they grow colder. IN high school a lot of women were bitches, but there were some who were sweet and caring. In college on the other hand every girl just strikes me as a viper; shallow, materialistic, and snobby. Women in their mid to late 20's seem pretty unattainable and think they're better than everyone too. Don't know many [female] people in their 30's.

 

cheer up Wolfie... by the time we get in our 40's, most of us have learned not to take some men's junk so seriously and we lighten up...

 

Right around the same time men our own age decide we are too 'old'. Kind of funny when you think about it.

[ChessPieceFace]

or hijacking every thread to whine non-stop about why all women suck (and not very good at it either, according to the trolls... okay, that was my attempt at humor )

 

This thread is ABOUT why most women suck, and how to deal with it. You're hijacking it to whine about people who have that opinion. YOU are the troll at this moment.

[ThsAmericanLife]

This thread is ABOUT why most women suck, and how to deal with it. You're hijacking it to whine about people who have that opinion. YOU are the troll at this moment.

 

Hey!! I'm all about equal opportunity trolling Isn't there some affirmative action plan for female trolls? Where can we sign up for training??

 

Don't answer that! I'm sure there are some folks who'd be happy to tell me (where to get female troll training that is!)

[joystickd]

cheer up Wolfie... by the time we get in our 40's, most of us have learned not to take some men's junk so seriously and we lighten up...

 

Right around the same time men our own age decide we are too 'old'. Kind of funny when you think about it.

 

Women in their 40s are the pinnacle of sexy. Mmmmmm.

[jobaba]

 

Please tell me my negative view on women is unjustified for my own sanity. I am a relationship type of guy and I'm losing hope that I will find a good girlfriend.

 

I'm not sure why you have a negative view of women. You're barely 22 and you've had 2 LTRs. There's people here who are nearly a decade older than that who haven't had any.

 

Also, I've never had a ONS. And I'm MUCH older than you.

 

In other words, I have no doubt that you'll have a healthy dating/sex life as a young adult, especially in a city like NYC. All people go through bad relationships and there's a few nasty, shallow people everywhere you go.

 

But if you're able to PHYSICALLY attract enough of a pool of women, then you will be able to find some pretty decent girls out of those. And it doesn't seem like you'll have a problem doing that. So, you don't have much to whine about.

[phineas]

OP you got blind-sided by your GF of 2yrs monkey-branching only 3 months ago.

You are down in the dumps & need to just be single.

 

Hit the gym, lift heavy & take a multi.

Find some hobbies or a project you can throw yourself into

 

You may not think i'm serious, but I am.

 

Hitting the weights after I caught my ex-wife cheating gave me focus.

I took some time off from work & did some landscaping & manual labor.

 

A few yrs later i'm looking damn good & have the upper hand when it comes to women.

[kvinna]

Meh. I've had much worse experiences with men—both as an involved party and as a spectator—than the OP has had with women. Still I'm not going to be bitter and angry at all of them based on a few knuckleheads who weren't good enough for me.

[jobaba]

neither do women... but you don't see them coming here starting every thread with negative stereotypes about men...

 

or hijacking every thread to whine non-stop about why all women suck (and not very good at it either, according to the trolls... okay, that was my attempt at humor )

 

It's an interesting point. I think both genders are equally bitter about relationships (divorce, cheaters, mental abuse) in general.

 

But about the point of not being able to attract many or any, I think males handle it differently because of the way the game is structured...

 

Undesirable males must approach and pursue to have any chance, so MASS rejection results in bitterness and a projection of shallowness onto all women.

 

On the other hand, women who are unsuccessful mostly sit and wait, making random and mostly feeble attempts to pursue men. I know a couple of women like this. They also argue men are all shallow, but don't have as much of the bitterness because of the relative lack of rejection. It's more a depression funk ... A man will never approach me or like me. Passive kind of sadness.

[Ilovewater]

Hey!! I'm all about equal opportunity trolling Isn't there some affirmative action plan for female trolls? Where can we sign up for training??

 

Don't answer that! I'm sure there are some folks who'd be happy to tell me (where to get female troll training that is!)

 

Haha, that made me laugh.

 

To the OP, that sucks that dating hasn't gone well for you. Where are you meeting these women? Mostly college parties? If you are, then you will most likely meet girls who aren't looking for anything serious. Dating in college is tough because a lot of college students don't want to settle in a relationship when they're in their early 20s. They just want to play the field.

 

If you're feeling so down, just take a break from dating (or trying to date) for a little bit and calm down. Find some hobbies in the mean time to occupy yourself. Who knows, you might meet someone there.

[Woggle]

Look at all the happy relationship threads on here. Sometimes it is the only that keeps me from dumping my wife after hearing some and reading some things on here.

 

I especially love how men are wrong for even looking at porn but female cheaters pretty much get high fived.

[ThsAmericanLife]

It's an interesting point. I think both genders are equally bitter about relationships (divorce, cheaters, mental abuse) in general.

 

But about the point of not being able to attract many or any, I think males handle it differently because of the way the game is structured...

 

Undesirable males must approach and pursue to have any chance, so MASS rejection results in bitterness and a projection of shallowness onto all women.

 

On the other hand, women who are unsuccessful mostly sit and wait, making random and mostly feeble attempts to pursue men. I know a couple of women like this. They also argue men are all shallow, but don't have as much of the bitterness because of the relative lack of rejection. It's more a depression funk ... A man will never approach me or like me. Passive kind of sadness.

 

There is alot of pressure on both young men and women to be a certain way... and I agree, we are socialized to manage it in different ways.

 

I'm thinking of the Beatles song... Eleanor Rigby...

 

[Wolf18]

cheer up Wolfie... by the time we get in our 40's, most of us have learned not to take some men's junk so seriously and we lighten up...

 

Right around the same time men our own age decide we are too 'old'. Kind of funny when you think about it.

 

I don't know where this myth that women in their 40's don't get attention comes from.

 

I've a few women in their 30's and 40's who are attractive to me and I am only 22. I'm flirty with women in this demographic because they're not constantly getting their horns tooted by rich guys and male models so they're always way more receptive , I even got a sexual experience out of one of these situations when I was but 18

 

Maybe you don't get the hottest guys in the world lining up and down the block at 40 like you did at 20 , but if you don't just give up, get that cropped lesbo haircut, gain 90 lbs and wear sweats and crocks eveywhere, you'll still have it.

[PJKino]

It's an interesting point. I think both genders are equally bitter about relationships (divorce, cheaters, mental abuse) in general.

 

But about the point of not being able to attract many or any, I think males handle it differently because of the way the game is structured...

 

Undesirable males must approach and pursue to have any chance, so MASS rejection results in bitterness and a projection of shallowness onto all women.

 

On the other hand, women who are unsuccessful mostly sit and wait, making random and mostly feeble attempts to pursue men. I know a couple of women like this. They also argue men are all shallow, but don't have as much of the bitterness because of the relative lack of rejection. It's more a depression funk ... A man will never approach me or like me. Passive kind of sadness.

 

Plus Men are told that its not about looks with women that theyre emotional creatures its how you treat them and some men realize too late that women are just as visual and shallow then Men if not more and if youre not able to physically attract women your chances are slim to none

[D-Lish]

cheer up Wolfie... by the time we get in our 40's, most of us have learned not to take some men's junk so seriously and we lighten up...

 

Right around the same time men our own age decide we are too 'old'. Kind of funny when you think about it.

 

Maybe young girls today are much more sexually free than they were when we were growing up!

 

In HS and Uni there was always that "one" girl in a group known to get around- but a whole whack of them? I remember in Uni I kissed 2 different guys in the same weekend and I felt bad about myself:laugh:

[ThsAmericanLife]

Maybe young girls today are much more sexually free than they were when we were growing up!

 

In HS and Uni there was always that "one" girl in a group known to get around- but a whole whack of them? I remember in Uni I kissed 2 different guys in the same weekend and I felt bad about myself:laugh:

 

yea, I think things are different for both genders in terms of sexuality than they were when we were growing up.