arbrne_vet Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 so, in a nutshell, proposed last October. she took that as an opportunity for manipulation, and abuse. i took it and took it. she took the ring off in April. the relationship continued, whatever there was of it. more abuse from her, more "beat down" from her. then in September, she finally ended it and started with a new person. last month i sent an e-mail telling her she had 30 days to return my ring. i received condescending texts and e-mails, using my feelings against me. so i figured she did not think i was serious. sent her a certified letter, telling her she had 15 days, or i was taking her to court. got more texts using my feelings against me. i did not respond. Wednesday, the 15 days are up, the following Monday, i will be filing. do i send her one last text on Wednesday, letting her know i am serious, or do i just say hell with it and file. i know when she does get the paperwork, it will be nothing but eithe nasty texts again, or boo hoo!!! advice?? comments?? thanks!
geegirl Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 last month i sent an e-mail telling her she had 30 days to return my ring. i received condescending texts and e-mails, using my feelings against me. so i figured she did not think i was serious. sent her a certified letter, telling her she had 15 days, or i was taking her to court. got more texts using my feelings against me. i did not respond. Wednesday, the 15 days are up, the following Monday, i will be filing. What about 1) email telling her in 30 days to return the ring 2) certified letter indicating she had 15 days or court - is not serious? Another text is not going to make her take you seriously. Email, certified letter and text will grant you the same reaction. Filing will make her take you seriously. And when you file, and when she receives the paperwork, she's either going to spit venom or she'll charm your socks off. In any case, be ready to stand your ground.
ScienceGal Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Do no text anymore. Sending a certified letter made your message clear. Move forward with legal action. Sorry you have to deal with someone who treats you with so little regard. Do not show her any mercy, she needs to give the ring back. There are no excuses or reasons for the delay. Good luck.
Author arbrne_vet Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 holy crap!!! just got an e-mail from her. she wants me to call her tonight, followed by a Please!!!! my heart wants to believe there is something good, but i know there is not. my response will be give me my ring, and then i will talk to you.
wilsonx Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Dont play into this Its a game, shes probably not going to answer and if she does, its nothing you want to hear, go with the certified letter and then file in court. Shes going to do something to string you along and retain control over the situation. If you call or respond to her, she maintains that control Look at how confused you are right now
Author arbrne_vet Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 your right. i will give no reply. there was no "i'm sorry" or anything even close. i'm securing my perimeters.....
geegirl Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 your right. i will give no reply. there was no "i'm sorry" or anything even close. i'm securing my perimeters..... She's testing the waters to see where you are with the filing. And I am sure she took your email and letter seriously because there is sense here that she is counting the days. Break contact and she will try to talk you out of it as I said in your earlier thread. She had her chance to give you back the ring. And as I said before, if she was a decent person, she would have respected you when you asked for it, knowing she left you. She is only reaching out to gauge where you are. Don't say anything.
Author arbrne_vet Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 she called me about 8. never left a message. yep, she's just trying to figure a way in. disappointing, but yet, nothing has changed. the 15 days are up Wednesday. i will go to the courthouse on Monday. there is a part of me that wishes i would hear, "i'm sorry" or "i miss you" but not anything close. i guess she figures she has had me whipped for so long, she is just trying to find another way of doing it. just waiting for the booohooos. i am sure that is next. it's times like this that i have to sit and soak in everything she has done to me.
wilsonx Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 why do you want to hear Im sorry or I miss you?
Author arbrne_vet Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 i miss what we had.... i miss who she was. part of me wants to believe that not hearing from me for this long would make her miss me. BUT, i know none of this will happen, and i am NOT sitting around for it to happen. i want my ring back. if i don't have it by monday, i will file. i have come a long way. i sure as hell don't want to start over. i have been through the "being dumped" and also knowing she is with another person. i don't want to go backwards. i just really miss what we had.
EgoJoe Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 It MIGHT be a good idea to reply to the email or send a text with: "I've created records of our correspondence and I'm going to the courthouse on Monday." Ignore everything else. I only say this because you want to avoid the man if possible.
superchiefs Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 I think you should go ahead and file in court because that is the only way she will take you seriously. Thank you for sharing your story though as it makes me feel better about my broken engagement. My girl broke things off with me and it took her 3 weeks to return my ring. When she brought the ring back, she also brought me lunch, then we had sex 1 final time and she left.
twinkles Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Just think of the ring as a parting gift. What do you want it back for. Who cares about an innate object. Who cares about the money you spent. Take the loss and take back your dignity. You will be a better man for it.
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