lovehurts1987 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Hi Guys, I will try to keep this short and sweet - and cut a long story short. Me and my ex were toegether for just under two years, we lived together and we had our fair share of problems. When we got together he was amazing - he was the nicest lad that you would ever wish to meet, i thought i struck gold. Honestly, then time went on and he did change, he began to put his mates first and going out more (nothing put of the ordinary) and the trust in our relationship was 100%. As time went on i figured he had issues, especially in regards to communication. He just cannot do it - he has no idea how to communicate or handle his feelings. So that would create massive arguments and make things worse. I dont even think it could ever work because of his communication issues. He has punched holes in walls, and drunk drove his car because he gets so angry that he cannot communicate. Surely its easier to communicate than not???? Then time went on a bit more and his friends started acting really wierd, hes got this group, i wouldnt even call them close - but obviously they had a problem because he had moved out and was not at their beck and call anymore. They would have parties then ignore my boyfriend for a week before incase i showed up and honestly i can say i have never done anything to make these friends dislike me. His best friends sister fancies my ex but she fancies all of her brothers friends, and basically i couldnt handle that anymore. I got obsessed with why these people hated me and i broke it off, now both back at our parents. I think i could of handled things a lot better and not let these people drive a wedge between us. They have got what they wanted for us not to be together, but then why should i be in a relationship which i have to fight his mates and defend us?? Its strange and so frustrating because his mate, the main culprit is horrible, he uses my ex for money, and lifts and a place to stay and my ex gets nothing back from their friendship. But he lets that happen. All my friends have said to me its my ex's fault because he is letting his mates treat him like this. Why??? Why is he?? I cannot understand it. Everytime i speak to my ex about it - he says "i dont want to talk about this". (NO COMMUNICATION AGAIN) So we have been spit up for 3 months, we did have good contact, and spoke all the time but he ignores me of a weekend and i got drunk and was really nasty to him. Now i think thats it....i think we will never speak again. I think he is so angry with me, but i dont want him to be. All i want for him to realise is i want to help him, but this is a situation where he needs to help himself.....its so heartbreaking. We are both 24 and i dont think as a 24 year old you should be living out of your friends pockets??? His mum says it seems his friends dont want him to have a girlfriend and it just hurts because we worked so hard to build a home together and a life together for it to be demolished by a third party, and the fact i cannot handle it. If i did something to upset his friends i could understand....im not the first girlfriend they have taken an instant dislike to either - its been all of his girlfriends 3 months and he obviously is not realising and its not getting any easier for me. Im just scared now that he hates me and that we will actually never talk again.
headsashed Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 kind of sounds familiar to my story,for about 3 months before my ex dumped me she started hanging around with these new friends,thats when i noticed things were changing,she would hardly communicate with me etc,i know they use her too,they ask her for money,lifts,all the usual stuff and she gets nothing in return. Ive told her this but she doesnt listen. It feels like i lost someone i loved to stupid friends who use her,some of them have even judged me when they havent even met me? lol. In the end though,we cannot try to change the person back to who they was before these so called friends came onto the scene,its upto the person to stand up for themselves otherwise they will eventually lose the ones that love them.
Author lovehurts1987 Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 It is THE most frustrationg situation. Its like he picked them over me, well know he has actually picked them over me. It is stupid. My ex was not a confrontational person at all and if he did have it out with the ring leader who is the one who uses him a lot - then he would lose all of his mates. I get that, but if its not the first time and its not going to be the last i just want to shake him. 24 years old now though, this shouldnt be happening - this is school ground stuff. I feel ive lost everything and im the one being punished for their problems. This ring leader is now happy with his girlfriend, never argue - this is because now his friend doesnt have to worry about me and lets call him Ryan being together, he will always be there now happily single for when his mate wants to use him again. I hate it.
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