Possible second chance?

[squidattackx]

Ok so I was with my ex for 6 years and about 4 of then we spent living together. I am 23 and shes 21. We both moved to Cali because she was going to school there for 3 of the 6 years.

 

When we first got together it was like she was obsessed with me. She always wanted to be around me and we loved each other so much. The last 5 years were amazingly happy times for the both of us. I am deeply in love with her and I am certain that we were meant to be. She is the love of my life. I mean how can you be with someone for so long and have absolutely no

 

The six months of our relationship I fell in to what I call a depression, I am not sure what caused it. I quit my job and just wanted to stay at home all the time even if she wanted to go out. I was living off her financially for a while and kinda took what i had for granted. So we moved back to our home town a few months ago and things started to get a little strange. We would fight about the stupidest and smallest things that don't even matter and she was not really interested in sex any more. About a month later other guys were giving her attention and she broke it off with me. There wasn't a particular reason why she broke up with me, she said stuff like I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore, said she was unhappy, ect...

 

So about 1 month in to the break up I acted like a fool. I begged her to come back and followed her around to keep tabs on her. I tried to make her jealous by telling her that I was with other girls. She stared crying and saying that I replaced her. I soon realized that none of this would actually work. So I told her the truth, that I wasn't as serious as I made myself sound. I asked her if we would ever get back together and she told me that it is mostly likely that we will. She also said that she needs to get over the relationship before she gets back with me. She also slept with another guy she barley knows. After they slept together he stopped talking to her. I am assuming she is just freaking out since shes been with me basically her whole adult life and just wants to see what else is out there. Now she is seeing my what once was my best friend. I am sure that they are sleeping with each other but they are not in a official relationship. She goes over to his apartment and spends the night over there sometimes. Is this a rebound type thing? I mean we were together for 6 years and she is getting involved with someone so soon. Yes it hurt at first but I know that she can do what she wants since we are broken up. I have no resentment for what she did and what she is doing and I am not hurt by it anymore.

 

Right after she broke up with me it was like a rude awakening. Honestly even if we decide to get back together I feel like I needed this break up to get myself together. I immeaditly got a job, which I love. Started going to the gym, hanging out with friends, going out, and playing music again to get my life back.

 

This month I decided enough is enough I started NC 2 weeks ago and stopped all the psycho crap i pulled on her. I also started meeting other girls to help me get my self-confidence back. The first four days I got a text saying " haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing". I didn't reply that entire day, then the next day she called. I basically ignored it and texted her back that night saying that I have been really busy and that I am doing great and asked her how she was. She replied that she was doing well. Then I replied that's great to hear ttyl. It has now been 10 days since she last time she contacted with me. I am very close with her family and it is her mothers birthday today and I got her a really good gift with a card.

 

I am just not sure what else to do, I need some advise on if I should or should not contact her. Is this a GIGS syndrome? Does anyone believe that we will get back together again? Does anyone have a similar situation?

 

I mean I am moving on with my life and doing my own thing. But I don't really understand what is going on or what else I can do. I am deeply in love with this girl and my intentions is getting back together with her no matter what!

Edited November 21, 2011 by squidattackx

[chados]

Ok so I was with my ex for 6 years and about 4 of then we spent living together. I am 23 and shes 21. We both moved to Cali because she was going to school there for 3 of the 6 years.

 

When we first got together it was like she was obsessed with me. She always wanted to be around me and we loved each other so much. The last 5 years were amazingly happy times for the both of us. I am deeply in love with her and I am certain that we were meant to be. She is the love of my life. I mean how can you be with someone for so long and have absolutely no

 

The six months of our relationship I fell in to what I call a depression, I am not sure what caused it. I quit my job and just wanted to stay at home all the time even if she wanted to go out. I was living off her financially for a while and kinda took what i had for granted. So we moved back to our home town a few months ago and things started to get a little strange. We would fight about the stupidest and smallest things that don't even matter and she was not really interested in sex any more. About a month later other guys were giving her attention and she broke it off with me. There wasn't a particular reason why she broke up with me, she said stuff like I love you but I'm not in love with you anymore, said she was unhappy, ect...

 

So about 1 month in to the break up I acted like a fool. I begged her to come back and followed her around to keep tabs on her. I tried to make her jealous by telling her that I was with other girls. She stared crying and saying that I replaced her. I soon realized that none of this would actually work. So I told her the truth, that I wasn't as serious as I made myself sound. I asked her if we would ever get back together and she told me that it is mostly likely that we will. She also said that she needs to get over the relationship before she gets back with me. She also slept with another guy she barley knows. After they slept together he stopped talking to her. I am assuming she is just freaking out since shes been with me basically her whole adult life and just wants to see what else is out there. Now she is seeing my what once was my best friend. I am sure that they are sleeping with each other but they are not in a official relationship. She goes over to his apartment and spends the night over there sometimes. Is this a rebound type thing? I mean we were together for 6 years and she is getting involved with someone so soon. Yes it hurt at first but I know that she can do what she wants since we are broken up. I have no resentment for what she did and what she is doing and I am not hurt by it anymore.

 

Right after she broke up with me it was like a rude awakening. Honestly even if we decide to get back together I feel like I needed this break up to get myself together. I immeaditly got a job, which I love. Started going to the gym, hanging out with friends, going out, and playing music again to get my life back.

 

This month I decided enough is enough I started NC 2 weeks ago and stopped all the psycho crap i pulled on her. I also started meeting other girls to help me get my self-confidence back. The first four days I got a text saying " haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing". I didn't reply that entire day, then the next day she called. I basically ignored it and texted her back that night saying that I have been really busy and that I am doing great and asked her how she was. She replied that she was doing well. Then I replied that's great to hear ttyl. It has now been 10 days since she last time she contacted with me. I am very close with her family and it is her mothers birthday today and I got her a really good gift with a card.

 

I am just not sure what else to do, I need some advise on if I should or should not contact her. Is this a GIGS syndrome? Does anyone believe that we will get back together again? Does anyone have a similar situation?

 

I mean I am moving on with my life and doing my own thing. But I don't really understand what is going on or what else I can do. I am deeply in love with this girl and my intentions is getting back together with her no matter what!

 

 

 

im not going to write all the stuff again, but if you want you could check my profile, i got some posts there about my situation. when you got into a depression and started arguing with her, you lost your value in her eyes. and by begging to get her back it got even worse. you dont wanna act like youre still miserable. because thats the guy she dumped. i dont know your situation but a couple need to be there for each other.

 

you need to be the guy she fell inlove with. in other words not a guy that's gonna hurt her and then beg her to come back when. you have to show her that your'e strong now. accept the breakup is always the best. maybe its not to late to do that now. she wont miss you when you are acting this way. but i have to ask you. she slept with someone, and still does "probably". do you really want her back. or do you just miss the feeling to not be alone?.

 

i think its a rebound and it might be GIGS. but lets put it this way. if she's the one begging you later when she gets tired of this guy. would you take her back then?

[squidattackx]

I would take her back in a heartbeat. But I do not want her to know that lol. I definitely feel more like "myself", how I was when we first started dating. I personally think that since she got used by the first guy she wanted to feel secure with one of her friends. She is very insecure and I was with her every night sleeping by her side. So I think that she is lonely. Honestly I do not think that they are compatible at all, all my friends and family say the same thing as well.

[chados]

I would take her back in a heartbeat. But I do not want her to know that lol. I definitely feel more like "myself", how I was when we first started dating. I personally think that since she got used by the first guy she wanted to feel secure with one of her friends. She is very insecure and I was with her every night sleeping by her side. So I think that she is lonely. Honestly I do not think that they are compatible at all, all my friends and family say the same thing as well.

 

 

fair enough. but remember keeping your dignity. dont feel sorry for her for being lonely because she dumped you. i would have problems to take back a girl thats been sleeping with someone just after we broke up. if you love her and are sure you would take her back, all i can say is GO FOR IT. wish you the best

[squidattackx]

Should continue with NC or should I just start talking to her again?

[chados]

Should continue with NC or should I just start talking to her again?

 

 

"im gonna tell you by reading this"

 

This month I decided enough is enough I started NC 2 weeks ago and stopped all the psycho crap i pulled on her. I also started meeting other girls to help me get my self-confidence back. The first four days I got a text saying " haven't heard from you in a while. How are you doing". I didn't reply that entire day, then the next day she called. I basically ignored it and texted her back that night saying that I have been really busy and that I am doing great and asked her how she was. She replied that she was doing well.

 

 

this is something you need to ask yourself, what does she mean. it could mean she feel guilt, or it could mean she actually noticed that your not there anymore. you dont want to talk to her now.

 

if SHE contacts you. the only thing i would even considering say to her is this. i know why things went wrong, and i accept the breakup. i dont think we should talk at this point. does it sound harsh? it does. but she's got no right to keep you on strings. she will contact you if she wants to get back. and i think this is the best way to get her to contact you. people want what they cant have. not saying you should try to get her back just because she cant have you, she will have to work for you, remember that