Can't shake this low...

[ChelseaLS]

Today is the 4th day of feeling low. I hate it. I think I know why... I usually hear from him, but currently haven't in the last week because my mom is in town and I think that is keeping him at a distance (she is pretty protective of me).

I can't stand this feeling of him forgetting about me. I mean there is no way he really can, condsidering we work together but it feels that way because I haven't heard from him. Now I know I probably shouldn't want to hear from him, but alas I like it when I do, even if it is frustrating.

I want to run into his office and confess my undying love for him and for him to be "I was such a fool, you are the only woman for me!" lol I know that won't happen.. ack! I hate this.

I wish I could magically make this awful feeling go away

[stunned8165]

Today is the 4th day of feeling low. I hate it. I think I know why... I usually hear from him, but currently haven't in the last week because my mom is in town and I think that is keeping him at a distance (she is pretty protective of me).

I can't stand this feeling of him forgetting about me. I mean there is no way he really can, condsidering we work together but it feels that way because I haven't heard from him. Now I know I probably shouldn't want to hear from him, but alas I like it when I do, even if it is frustrating.

I want to run into his office and confess my undying love for him and for him to be "I was such a fool, you are the only woman for me!" lol I know that won't happen.. ack! I hate this.

I wish I could magically make this awful feeling go away

 

 

I know how you feel. I feel pretty low too. I can't seem to let go. Mainly because of the kids.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302201/ Then to boot, she suddenly appears on my way home twice last week. Haven't seen her in 5 months. I shut down all contact over 5 weeks ago. Before that, it was LC on my part just doing a little reaching out. . I have a hard time understanding how some one could act like what we had, all we have done together as a family, all I have done for her and the kids could seem like it doesn't matter to her. I starting to think it was drugs. Pills. Man I hate those things. They screw up so many peoples lives. . And now, I'm really fearing the holidays. I miss the kids so so much.

[wmids]

How long were you guys together?

 

And your right that feeling is the worst in the world, im finding this harder than when i have lost people including my dad to death.

 

Been trying to find stories on here of people saying that people do come back...maybe to give some hope and stories of people finally saying ''i feel better now i have moved on''

[chados]

Today is the 4th day of feeling low. I hate it. I think I know why... I usually hear from him, but currently haven't in the last week because my mom is in town and I think that is keeping him at a distance (she is pretty protective of me).

I can't stand this feeling of him forgetting about me. I mean there is no way he really can, condsidering we work together but it feels that way because I haven't heard from him. Now I know I probably shouldn't want to hear from him, but alas I like it when I do, even if it is frustrating.

I want to run into his office and confess my undying love for him and for him to be "I was such a fool, you are the only woman for me!" lol I know that won't happen.. ack! I hate this.

I wish I could magically make this awful feeling go away

 

 

chelsea come one, you've helped me, now im gonna try to help you. the thing is if i remember correctly he has initiated contact with you "flirting". and you love him. do you really want to continue this? i mean if you love a person and work with him, you will feel this pain over and over again. maybe sometimes you just have to realize you don't want let go and give it your best shot to win him back. don't do it for him but for yourself. its just to much to ask sticking to NC when you work together. i wish you the best

[ChelseaLS]

We were together 6 years. We are on a "break" that is what he is calling it. A 6 month break living apart to see what we both want... I know what I want, I want him. I don't need him in my life, but I want him. I love him dearly.

 

I've done my soul searching to see if I just miss the companionship and what not, but no, it's not that... I love him. I am not afraid to be on my own. I really enjoy being on my own in all honesty. I get these gut renching feelings that it's not over.

 

Yes chados he has more then once initiated contact with me and there was some flirting on his part. However he asked for space and time, and so I have been respecting that by doing LC. He initiates everytime we talk.

 

I would just like for this nightmere to be over. I would like to wake up tomorrow and wake up beside him. Either that or wake up tomorrow and have recollection of him in my life... as awful as that sounds.

[Art_Critic]

I would just like for this nightmere to be over.

 

You are in control of it, if you so choose to exercise that power then end it with him and move on.

 

If anybody I had ever been with wanted a break I'd give them exactly what they wanted and more.. to never hear from me again.

 

CLS.. you need to take control of this relationship and make some decisions, he is only stringing you along..

A break like this isn't healthy for you and is only him looking for some strange.

Edited November 21, 2011 by Art_Critic

[chados]

You are in control of it, if you so choose to exercise that power then end it with him and move on.

 

If anybody I had ever been with wanted a break I'd give them exactly what they wanted and more.. to never hear from me again.

 

 

 

CLS.. you need to take control of this relationship and make some decisions, he is only stringing you along..

A break like this isn't healthy for you and is only him looking for some strange.

 

 

 

 

i agree with this, chelsea maybe you should say that you want this to end. maybe only then will he realize that he needs you. and maybe then you don't have to wait 6 months and maybe get heartbroken

[wmids]

I agree with the above, i have been texting her and meeting up with my ex for the past 2 months and when i asked her most recently if we will ever be together she said ''not at the moment, no'' which i feel is harsh because its a no but a maybe one day...so i dont know whats going on in her head...

 

So god knows how i would be feeling if it had been going on for 6 months like it sounds like it has with you. I hope all of us find happiness on here you are all good people.

[ChelseaLS]

You are in control of it, if you so choose to exercise that power then end it with him and move on.

 

If anybody I had ever been with wanted a break I'd give them exactly what they wanted and more.. to never hear from me again.

 

CLS.. you need to take control of this relationship and make some decisions, he is only stringing you along..

A break like this isn't healthy for you and is only him looking for some strange.

 

 

I appreciate your thoughts and I understand what you are saying. The break was pretty mutual, and I moved out right away. It wasn't a mean or messy break up but we were arguing more often.

Anyways I have been treating it as a break up. I told him I was not going to wait and that I would be moving forward and I have been. Regardless if it is a break or a breakup, these feelings would and are still there.. I can't end this nightmere as simply as you say... I work with him and both our jobs are great and either one of us would be dumb to leave.

I am not waiting for 6 months... I am moving forward as it were done. I know this is the only way to safegaurd my heart. This way if he never comes back I will be fine, IF he were to come back it would be a nice surprise... but I am not holding my breath.

It's a sticky situation that most people cannot relate too.

[chados]

I agree with the above, i have been texting her and meeting up with my ex for the past 2 months and when i asked her most recently if we will ever be together she said ''not at the moment, no'' which i feel is harsh because its a no but a maybe one day...so i dont know whats going on in her head...

 

So god knows how i would be feeling if it had been going on for 6 months like it sounds like it has with you. I hope all of us find happiness on here you are all good people.

 

 

that would be a mess. but i have to give her credit, since she work with him, i would probably die if that was my case. but i do believe that you have to let go of something to get it back

[chados]

I appreciate your thoughts and I understand what you are saying. The break was pretty mutual, and I moved out right away. It wasn't a mean or messy break up but we were arguing more often.

Anyways I have been treating it as a break up. I told him I was not going to wait and that I would be moving forward and I have been. Regardless if it is a break or a breakup, these feelings would and are still there.. I can't end this nightmere as simply as you say... I work with him and both our jobs are great and either one of us would be dumb to leave.

I am not waiting for 6 months... I am moving forward as it were done. I know this is the only way to safegaurd my heart. This way if he never comes back I will be fine, IF he were to come back it would be a nice surprise... but I am not holding my breath.

It's a sticky situation that most people cannot relate too.

 

 

youre doing fine, even if you feel sad. i can tell by your posts that you are acting mature and you are a strong person. i wish you the best:)

[wow123]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm going through a very difficult stretch myself. I also worked with an ex years ago. It was so hard. I know what you're going through. We'll all make it.

[ChelseaLS]

that would be a mess. but i have to give her credit, since she work with him, i would probably die if that was my case. but i do believe that you have to let go of something to get it back

 

 

I do believe that as well. And I am attempting to let go as best I can, and I think from the outside it looks like I have. I mean as far as he probably thinks, I have let go... I never call, chat with him at work, email, text.. none of that. I smile, walk confidently etc.... but I just can't shake this low. Its only been 45 days, which I know is not that long, but I was hoping I would be further along.

[Art_Critic]

I understand that you are treating it as a breakup in your head but the problem is that you haven't ended with him.

 

IMO.. you need to breakup with him and end it so you can move forward since you are in this rut only because you cannot move forward.

 

He didn't consider you working together to be that big of a deal when he decide for the break.. so why should you ?

I think you need to be kind to yourself and take back the power he removed when he deiced to keep you hanging.. finish the breakup for him.

 

As far as not being able to understand your position.. I certainly can understand it.. that is why I have given you the advice I did...

[chados]

I do believe that as well. And I am attempting to let go as best I can, and I think from the outside it looks like I have. I mean as far as he probably thinks, I have let go... I never call, chat with him at work, email, text.. none of that. I smile, walk confidently etc.... but I just can't shake this low. Its only been 45 days, which I know is not that long, but I was hoping I would be further along.

 

 

you feel good when you work, then you can see him, know what he's up to, and when you don't see him you feel miserable. it will be hard to let go when you see him to often. if you love him and he just said i need a break. that means as long as you see him you might believe there's a change to get back together. and who knows, maybe its just a matter of time.

[ChelseaLS]

I understand that you are treating it as a breakup in your head but the problem is that you haven't ended with him.

 

IMO.. you need to breakup with him and end it so you can move forward since you are in this rut only because you cannot move forward.

 

He didn't consider you working together to be that big of a deal when he decide for the break.. so why should you ?

I think you need to be kind to yourself and take back the power he removed when he deiced to keep you hanging.. finish the breakup for him.

 

As far as not being able to understand your position.. I certainly can understand it.. that is why I have given you the advice I did...

 

 

That's not correct Artic... I have told him it is a break up and he can treat it how he wishes. I have told him I am moving on. Working together honestly don't bother me all that much. I hardly ever see him as we have our own offices on opposit sides of the building.

I was kind to myself, I told him I was moving out.. and I did in 12 days of the break up. I am kind to myself as I am getting therapy. I am kind to myself as I have started a healthy life style.

These lows come and go to anyone who has broken up. All I was saying is that it's been 4 days and I'm having a hard time shaking it... which I know to be normal, from other peoples posts on here. I am merely frustrated.

[smokey bear]

I agree with the above posts.

 

look at from a different point of view.

 

you are stuck in limbo.

 

So what happens if you wait 6 months and he turns at the end and days, ive met someone else.

 

How would you feel after that after waiting and hoping for 6 months.

 

I think you need a decision and i think 45 has been long enough space.

[smokey bear]

sorry just read your post that says it is a break up.

 

As for the feeling, just ride it out.

 

I had the exact same intense days and i stuck to nc. He contacted me, was feeling the same. Didnt make any difference though.

 

The same thing keeps happening, i feel really intense days, i wait it out and he eventually txts so i suppose they feel it too, but again it doesnt change the situation.

 

my heart goes out to you. Im feeling exactly the same way just now, its been a rough few days. It breaks you but it makes you stronger.

 

Keep going chick, dont break that nc now, dont break that courage and commitment you've had, let him break first.

 

you can do it.

 

Something that helped me.... I had terrible anxiety when i felt these lows, as if i was waiting on contact.

 

I got some herbal calm medicine and it really worked wonders.

[ChelseaLS]

sorry just read your post that says it is a break up.

 

As for the feeling, just ride it out.

 

I had the exact same intense days and i stuck to nc. He contacted me, was feeling the same. Didnt make any difference though.

 

The same thing keeps happening, i feel really intense days, i wait it out and he eventually txts so i suppose they feel it too, but again it doesnt change the situation.

 

my heart goes out to you. Im feeling exactly the same way just now, its been a rough few days. It breaks you but it makes you stronger.

 

Keep going chick, dont break that nc now, dont break that courage and commitment you've had, let him break first.

 

you can do it.

 

Something that helped me.... I had terrible anxiety when i felt these lows, as if i was waiting on contact.

 

I got some herbal calm medicine and it really worked wonders.

 

 

Thanks smokey. I think I may have to get some of that calm stuff and perhaps do some meditation. Today has been waves of highs and lows... which makes me think tomorrow will be highs ... I hope.

 

I don't plan on break my NC... er LC for me.

 

Thanks for the support everyone.

[smokey bear]

Hey, had a wee think and then came back to this post.

 

I had a spell where i was very strong, i refused to give in to the feelings.

 

It made me feel the way you are, i think sometimes we act too strong and forget that healing comes through feeling the pain and emotions.

 

Is it possible you are fighting it and maybe need to just stop and give in to it and feel it. Cry get angry, really focus on feeling it.

 

It worked for me, i was fighting it, i gave in and had 3 really rough days where after i felt a lot batter.

 

I explained it in another post as hitting a brick wall, i couldnt move forward but didnt understand why because i was keeping busy, dating, doing nc. But....I had forgot to feel and heal, i was blocking it out which in return was stopping me moving forward. xxxx

[smokey bear]

It happens, ive been there, after reading your post i had a wee cry. This first in two or three weeks, I walked up to my mam and said "having a wee cry, at least the time between them is growing greater" then i laughed.

 

Im not sad, just sometimes we get so busy and do forget and its there in the back of the mind building up. A wee cry helps, it really does.

 

lol as for the calms, try them, meditation didnt work for me and ive used hypno etc before so its something i believe in but you need something a little stronger to take over the mind.

 

xxx

 

Im feeling it with you, your not alone. I hope you dont break nc.

[ChelseaLS]

It happens, ive been there, after reading your post i had a wee cry. This first in two or three weeks, I walked up to my mam and said "having a wee cry, at least the time between them is growing greater" then i laughed.

 

Im not sad, just sometimes we get so busy and do forget and its there in the back of the mind building up. A wee cry helps, it really does.

 

lol as for the calms, try them, meditation didnt work for me and ive used hypno etc before so its something i believe in but you need something a little stronger to take over the mind.

 

xxx

 

Im feeling it with you, your not alone. I hope you dont break nc.

 

 

I don't really know if I have been too strong. I mean when it all came down I forced myself to sit and look at the relationship and why it failed and yadda yadda yadda. I cried everyday for 3 - 4 weeks. So I really don't know. I can't seem to get angry, because I can't seem anything to get angry about. It sucks. Like I said in another post it would have been easier had it been a messy break up. Perhaps after work I will go home and cry or try too.

[smokey bear]

I felt the same way, i actually had to dig down deep to get the cry out, feeling it and grieving it is a definate must, keep strong at work but set aside maybe 30 mins a day to sit and think, bring up old posts etc. If you sit for 10 mins and say "hey i cant be bothered im ok" then give up for that day.

 

I do know that i avoided it at one point and it did stone wall me. Mother nature time of the month always got me too (sorry guys). i found myself irrational, i said to myself why can't you deal with this you normally can. Then nature took its course and id be like "ahh i see said the blind man"

 

xxxx

 

 

It gets harder before it gets easier.... for me this was true