Cirrus Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 (edited) Hi everyone, I went out with my bf for 2 years. During that time we had our ups and downs but were always extremely close, probably too close, talking to each other for hours every day and every night. We loved each other and talked about marriage, kids etc.however I made some big mistakes. The first was in lending my bf 5000 dollars a year ago. He had unexpectedly lost his job and was in a bad way financially. To his credit, he never asked me for the money, but I offered it to him as I couldn't stand to see him suffer in that way. We agreed that he could pay me back slowly as there was no urgency to me getting the money back. My bf is very proud and it took a lot for him to agree to the loan. A year later (now) he received a last minute wedding invitation to attend overseas a cousins wedding who he said he is very close to even though he hasn't talked to him in like a year. He immediately made arrangements to go, and barely one month later he is flying overseas to the USA to see his extended family on a social visit. I was surprised that he could afford these two trips in view of the financial difficulties he is just getting out of and I asked him about the money I loaned to him which he hadn't paid back. I never demanded it or said i needed it urgently, i just queried what the situation was. Well he blew up at me and we had an argument. He told me that he was through with me and didnt want to be with a girl who assumed he would not give money back to (even though i never assumed that!) and he advised me that i would get my money back asap. I was initially angry and upset and soon became inconsolable. I couldn't understand how he could break up with me over asking this one question. I did the absolute worst and unclassy thing by calling him a ridiculous number of times, he never once answered. I sent so many smses which he hasn't responded to, this occurred over the weekend. Well then I came across this forum and nc inspired me. It's day two of nc and as you would probably know it's been so ******* hard. This brings me to the second big mistake I made, I involved him and his company in a business deal and the deadline is like in 1-2 weeks. I don't have time to search for another good option even though my gut tells me this is a bad thing. I actually trust him to still do the right thing by the company as he is good when it comes to his work. But how do I maintain nc with him in this context? Do I pretend he is just another consultant and treat him so? I'm sure part of me is reveling in this business dilemma to have contact with him again I'm lost and confused and hurt and missing him, any advice or insight would be so appreciated, thank you.*** * Edited November 21, 2011 by Cirrus
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