spooky82 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Hi; Please, excuse my poor English, as it's not my native language. I'll try to make my best. This july, a girl I knew for many years (but hadn't seen her for ages, we were exclusively "FB friends") began flirting with me in a way no girl had done before. Way too explicit. She started flirting on my Facebook, then we switched to MSN, and so on. We felt there was something, and our connection grew stronger in just a few days. In just two weeks, we began chatting about 4 or 5 hours each day. The thing began getting serious, and... you guessed it... She walked away. She said she felt there was something, but... there's someone else. She's in love with a coworker, an impossible relationship for many reasons, and she knows that. But she can't stop thinking of him, and she said our story had no future at that time. She wasn't ready. So, after a bit of pleading, I decided to walk away and forget her, although she prefered me to stay. Yeah, sure. Anyway, we never met in person, so it was kinda easy to move on. But... a month passed and I got a message from her... "I miss so much what we had... Please, do you think we could talk like we did before? :(" She reinforced that message with many others in the same direction, and I finally caved. We began chatting like we did before, the feeling was still there, it was even deeper, but I went too fast too soon... and again, she walked away. Long story short: This pattern repeated several times, until we decided to met last saturday. It was absolutely phenomenal. We spent the weekend at my place, laughed, made out, talked a lot, and we got far too emotional... We both said we hadn't been so comfortable with anyone in a long time, and I know it was true for both of us. She told me she's absolutely scared of relationships, she had a very bad experience with a dumbass for five years, and she's so fragile... She said she wanted to go slow, really slow... But anyway, everything was going great until my... "I love you". Yes, I know... That day, anyway, had a good ending. She said we were on different places (again) of the relationship, and that she needed time, though she liked me a lot, she said she feels absolutely comfortable with me, and that I may be the one... But she needs time, she's scared, and needs to clarify her feelings. The next day she sends me a mail saying that she's sorry, but she's in love with the boy at her work. She knows that she can't have anything with that guy, but he's a so special friend that fulfills her needs, and I have no place there. She can't be with me. And again, the pattern. My pleading, her "forget me, I'm done forever, I'm positive now I don't want this, I need to bealone", and we are at the same point we were before. I've lost a 5 year relationship this January, and I spent here a lot of time, so I know how to handle this situations. I apologized for my pleading, and told her we should better stay away forever. She agreed, and we said goodbye. The thing is... I really like her. I love her, I know it's too soon, but I really feel that way. But I don't know how to proceed here. I guess that the best chance I have is waiting again for her to come back, isn't it? Will she come back? What are you thoughts on this? Thanks in advance for your time I really appreciate it.
Trovador Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Oh, she will come back, undoubtedly... she will... just to see if her biggest fan will jump at her command... Forget her, man, you can do better than begging for the attention of a woman who, above else, is in love with ANOTHER GUY!!!! You are only her private ego massager... Go away from her, if she comes back it will be on your own terms, don't accept less!!!!
Author spooky82 Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 Thank you very much for your advice, Trovador I'd love to follow your suggestions, but honestly, I don't see closure here. She says she is in love with that guy because it's an impossible relationship, and it's a way for her to prevent falling in love with viable guys. She went through a lot of pain on a previous relationship, and she says she wants to be alone. But also changes her mind on a daily basis, and she's aware of that. One of the reasons she gave me for leaving was she couldn't make me waste my time with her until she realizes what she wants... It sucks, it really sucks... Anyway, if you really think she'll come back... what should be my terms? Just in case... (Saludos desde España! )
Trovador Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 Hola, amigo, espero que te encuentres muy bien, aparte de tu pequeño "problemita"... I think you shouldn't expect for closure outside yourself, you will find it when you walk away from this girl... why would you stay around her? She doesn't have anything for you, save breadcrumbs and you deserve more than that... Come on, España is full of beautiful, available and equilibrated women, go find yourself one of them! Give this girl the gift of missing you and go away with your dignity intact... maybe some day she will come to her senses and will want to get back together and that day you will dictate the terms of the relationship, but for now just go cold on her... make yourself scarce... Date a desear, amigo... este fue el mejor consejo que he recibido en la vida y me lo dijo una ex... ¡Buena suerte!
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