prosense Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I am a guy and met a cute girl in the volunteering group that I organized. In the local community, I launched a volunteering activity. Some people got to know about it in some ways and showed up at the very first meeting last night. It was 6 people including me, 2 friends of mine, and 3 new comers. And one of the newcomers was quite cute. We talked about this and that here and there and found out that she and I live in the same town (10 min walk). And she and I came back to the town in the same bus together. And she just moved to town.. The volunteering is a weekly thing so I will probably see her next Sunday as well. Frankly, it wasn't like we had an instant connect.. or "spark". Neither of us flirted with each other.. I guess she was somewhat uncomfortable and cautious, being with total strangers whereas I already knew some of them. Now, I am in a pickle. As the organizer of the group, I feel like I take advantage of my position by asking her out or.. maybe I jeopardize the group dynamics if things did not go so well? What do you think? Regardless of my confidence or the odds stacked against me, would be a good idea to ask a co-volunteer out? If so, I am not sure how to approach it?
RecordProducer Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 (edited) I would first get to know her and get a feel of whether she shows signs of attraction toward you. Maybe she has a BF (or a GF). Maybe she is totally not your type. Or you're not hers. If you're older than 20, you should have enough respect for the lady and allow her to make up her mind by assessing your qualities beyond your looks and charm. And you should do the same: you don't want her to get the impression that you want to ask her out merely because she's cute. Women want to feel appreciated and comfortable. And men often make the mistake of jumping at us with a now-or-never demand to make up our minds whether we want to date them or not. Regarding taking advantage, you should learn to figure out whether you have a chance with a girl before she rejects you. Look for body language and other signs. But more than anything, give her a chance to like you. If you do ask her out eventually and she says no, remain friendly and professional and act as if nothing happened. Edited November 21, 2011 by RecordProducer
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