Did not think in a million years I'd be posting here - My story

November 23, 2011

Yeah I know where you're coming from. Thanks for the input.

Thanks mate, I am doing OK I think although there have been points where I feel extremely angry that this has happened, to curl up in a ball and want to break everything in the house. I hate those moments.

I have booked my flight to move to Darwin for the 11th of December, I hope nothing happens in between now and then that would warrant me staying. I don't want me missing this girl so much to prevent me from actually leaving here. I am an impatient guy, especially now. The void in my heart longs to be filled with more love, even though I have to get over this one before falling in love again. Thanks for the support, its good to know there are more people out there going through the same thing.

And guys if you're reading this, feel free to post your own struggle in this thread so that others including myself can help out with methods we're using to cope.

i am going through this myself right now, actually the worst was when she said, i dont know if i wanna be together with you. "i dont know", a week later she dumped me. it took me about 2 weeks to feel better, im not feeling completely okey. but i was in a depression. couldn't eat, couldn't even watch tv. i thought this will kill me. well here i am 1 month later.

and the feeling i get now is that she might actually come back. with that said, i think the hardest part is to not know. you would probably feel a lot better if you did know that you never would go back together. i think everybody would. of course you are kinda sure that that wont be the case, but still your not sure. and that keeps people thinking , what if?

i cant say this for certain, but it looks like your doing far better then i was. keep it up!

November 24, 2011

No problem bro. What I did after my situation is write out all of the things that I would improve upon for my next relationship. What behaviors did I tolerate that I would not tolerate again? Try to learn from your mistakes so you will not repeat history.

Like you said you often put her first, yet it was not reciprocated. There was no sense of mutual sacrifice. It was all about her.

As far as moving on, it may take some time. But I like that you are telling yourself that in 3 months you will want to be over her. I think that is a good goal and a very achievable one. You can accomplish that goal.

Just keep in mind that if she tries to come back that she had no problem cutting you off when it was convenient for her. Don't let her try to play games with you again. She has no sense of mutual sacrifice. I would recommend keep doing what you're doing to move on and if you dream about yourself being with her again immediately cut off those thoughts.

As much as I long to have her back and the relationship that I had back, I don't think I could put myself through the emotional strain of all of this happening again. If she came to me and said she wanted to get back together I really don't know what I'd do. Many in my situation would take them back in a heartbeat, and I probably would find it hard not to. But yeah. For all this to happen again, to have her snatched out of my life, no, I don't think I could.

i am going through this myself right now, actually the worst was when she said, i dont know if i wanna be together with you. "i dont know", a week later she dumped me. it took me about 2 weeks to feel better, im not feeling completely okey. but i was in a depression. couldn't eat, couldn't even watch tv. i thought this will kill me. well here i am 1 month later.

This is also what happened to me, she questioned her love for me. Except I ignored it for a month, and she broke up with me on Sunday. This is one lesson you and I should learn, is to be the man and walk away. No matter how much we have love for the girl, unrequited love is never fair. And I found by delaying the matter, the final vendetta was just that much more painful.

and the feeling i get now is that she might actually come back. with that said, i think the hardest part is to not know. you would probably feel a lot better if you did know that you never would go back together. i think everybody would. of course you are kinda sure that that wont be the case, but still your not sure. and that keeps people thinking , what if?

i cant say this for certain, but it looks like your doing far better then i was. keep it up!

As I said earlier in this post to TheFinalWord, I couldn't put myself through the emotional strain of getting back together and then breaking up again. After all there was always a reason behind why the breakup occured so I guess it would eventually be the end eventually anyway.

So I say to you, save your dignity. If she comes back, show her you can live without her and move on. This way you wont be hurting for as long, and you have more chance of finding the "one" or your next love, even quicker.

As for the not eating or sleeping thing, to my surprise, I am eating. And sleeping. Only problem is dreaming about her. The worst part of the day is waking up in the morning, so far every day, I have woken up in disbelief of the whole situation, and for that split second I look forward to seeing her later in the day, as I have done for the past year and a half.

I look forward to this pain easing as it has for you, really.

November 24, 2011

As much as I long to have her back and the relationship that I had back, I don't think I could put myself through the emotional strain of all of this happening again. If she came to me and said she wanted to get back together I really don't know what I'd do. Many in my situation would take them back in a heartbeat, and I probably would find it hard not to. But yeah. For all this to happen again, to have her snatched out of my life, no, I don't think I could.

This is also what happened to me, she questioned her love for me. Except I ignored it for a month, and she broke up with me on Sunday. This is one lesson you and I should learn, is to be the man and walk away. No matter how much we have love for the girl, unrequited love is never fair. And I found by delaying the matter, the final vendetta was just that much more painful.

As I said earlier in this post to TheFinalWord, I couldn't put myself through the emotional strain of getting back together and then breaking up again. After all there was always a reason behind why the breakup occured so I guess it would eventually be the end eventually anyway.

So I say to you, save your dignity. If she comes back, show her you can live without her and move on. This way you wont be hurting for as long, and you have more chance of finding the "one" or your next love, even quicker.

As for the not eating or sleeping thing, to my surprise, I am eating. And sleeping. Only problem is dreaming about her. The worst part of the day is waking up in the morning, so far every day, I have woken up in disbelief of the whole situation, and for that split second I look forward to seeing her later in the day, as I have done for the past year and a half.

I look forward to this pain easing as it has for you, really.

yeah i know, you could look at my thread and you will see our communication after the breakup, mixed signals, gotta hate it. your right about the walk away part. i dont feel the pain even close as much as i did earlier. but im thinking about her all day long, the pain is still there, the lack of motivation to do stuff is still there, thats why im sitting here writing all day. i just want to talk with her one last time, just to say everything that i want.

its just that she was so cold for a while, and im angry, i cant believe how she could put me in this misery. i asked her to dump me me, i said.. i know you dont wanna do this over phone, but please do it now. and she said, but i dont know. it all ended with me going over to her place where she could dump me. i know she's a good girl but that was just to mean

November 24, 2011

yeah i know, you could look at my thread and you will see our communication after the breakup, mixed signals, gotta hate it. your right about the walk away part. i dont feel the pain even close as much as i did earlier. but im thinking about her all day long, the pain is still there, the lack of motivation to do stuff is still there, thats why im sitting here writing all day. i just want to talk with her one last time, just to say everything that i want.

its just that she was so cold for a while, and im angry, i cant believe how she could put me in this misery. i asked her to dump me me, i said.. i know you dont wanna do this over phone, but please do it now. and she said, but i dont know. it all ended with me going over to her place where she could dump me. i know she's a good girl but that was just to mean

After reading your last thread about the coffee date and what not and how she is second guessing it my advice to you is to be the man and walk away. No more contact. You are only going to be resetting yourself and putting yourself back at square one if you continue to contact her because you need to spare yourself this emotional rollercoaster of happiness when she seems "positive" over the phone and then sadness when you question whether if means anything.

Get out there, move on from her and find you a new girl. A good little line I have been living for is this. For every minute you waste trying to get back with your ex is a minute waste you potentially meeting the real love of your life. As I've said, relationships end for a reason, and most of the time it's a waste of time getting back together.

Hope you're feeling better soon mate. Take my advice, it's worked for me so far.

November 24, 2011

After reading your last thread about the coffee date and what not and how she is second guessing it my advice to you is to be the man and walk away. No more contact. You are only going to be resetting yourself and putting yourself back at square one if you continue to contact her because you need to spare yourself this emotional rollercoaster of happiness when she seems "positive" over the phone and then sadness when you question whether if means anything.

Get out there, move on from her and find you a new girl. A good little line I have been living for is this. For every minute you waste trying to get back with your ex is a minute waste you potentially meeting the real love of your life. As I've said, relationships end for a reason, and most of the time it's a waste of time getting back together.

Hope you're feeling better soon mate. Take my advice, it's worked for me so far.

yeah thanks, im gonna do that. even if there's a chance that she's just testing me, im not gonna let her do that since she dumped me. she will contact me if she misses me. its hard to find a decent girl where i live. not a lot of places you will meet one, well im not that guy asking a girl out when im shopping, and clubs/bars rarely work. but i will be alright.

i do think she will contact me if she realize im not asking her out, whether its curiosity form her part or not, i do believe she will. and if she dont, i just have to go with the flow.

November 24, 2011

yeah thanks, im gonna do that. even if there's a chance that she's just testing me, im not gonna let her do that since she dumped me. she will contact me if she misses me. its hard to find a decent girl where i live. not a lot of places you will meet one, well im not that guy asking a girl out when im shopping, and clubs/bars rarely work. but i will be alright.

i do think she will contact me if she realize im not asking her out, whether its curiosity form her part or not, i do believe she will. and if she dont, i just have to go with the flow.

If she contacts you, show her you have moved on. Forget the pain inside and the hurt that you want her back, just show her you have moved on. It will be very hard, trust me, but do it and you will be stronger, and you will not lose your dignity.

As for meeting other girls, nothing is more attractive than an outgoing confident person (to most women). Strike up conversation with people. Ask if they need help with anything, I could go on and on with encounters with people. But it also helps if you're new to a place, work etc. Go dance with some people at the club. There is many ways to meet new people you've just got to come out of your shell a bit.

You'll be alright. When she contacts, bare the pain. It will be 100x better in the long run than if you surrender to her in hopes you'll get back together. Because just learn from the last time that happened to you, how **** you felt compared to how you were feeling before.

November 24, 2011

If she contacts you, show her you have moved on. Forget the pain inside and the hurt that you want her back, just show her you have moved on. It will be very hard, trust me, but do it and you will be stronger, and you will not lose your dignity.

As for meeting other girls, nothing is more attractive than an outgoing confident person (to most women). Strike up conversation with people. Ask if they need help with anything, I could go on and on with encounters with people. But it also helps if you're new to a place, work etc. Go dance with some people at the club. There is many ways to meet new people you've just got to come out of your shell a bit.

You'll be alright. When she contacts, bare the pain. It will be 100x better in the long run than if you surrender to her in hopes you'll get back together. Because just learn from the last time that happened to you, how **** you felt compared to how you were feeling before.

i haven't showed her any signs that i want her back, but i see your point, whatever happens i will make sure she thinks i've moved on. if she wants me back ill notice

November 25, 2011

I left my house for the first time since Monday this morning. I had to work in town. I avoided roads that we commonly traveled down in particular roads that lead past her house and around where we used to always get pizza.

Is it normal that I am petrified of going to these places?

November 25, 2011

I left my house for the first time since Monday this morning. I had to work in town. I avoided roads that we commonly traveled down in particular roads that lead past her house and around where we used to always get pizza.

Is it normal that I am petrified of going to these places?

no, its alright man, even if your going to be together or not, its for the best right now, i just took my necklace of, got it from my ex. things will be better. your doing great!

November 25, 2011

Oh and everyone if you're wondering I have found music to be a great help to feeling good. Not something sad or slow temped, something witty and "cool." Pink Floyd - Money, Nirvana - Nevermind (album). Songs that make you feel (as embarrassing as it is to say this) cool.

That's just me anyway. Try it out for yourself.

November 25, 2011

Oh and everyone if you're wondering I have found music to be a great help to feeling good. Not something sad or slow temped, something witty and "cool." Pink Floyd - Money, Nirvana - Nevermind (album). Songs that make you feel (as embarrassing as it is to say this) cool.

That's just me anyway. Try it out for yourself.

im glad it works for you, im singing instead haha. only glad songs though. strange but i dont think about it then.

November 27, 2011

Well I've hit the one week mark.

It's been easier than I thought although there has been some very hard spots in doing so. I've come to terms with it all and have accepted that shes gone. I haven't contacted her but on 3-4 occasions she's contacted me to see how I am.. like just before. All of these times I give limited responses, not asking how she is doing because I know that will just make it worse when she says she is doing "fine" which I'm sure she is lol. I have said I am doing fine which I think I am.

I have surrounded myself with some female company a couple of times (not for anything like that, just they are better talkers / listeners) which has helped. It's 17 days until I move and I'm feeling very anxious about it although I know it will be good I'm scared at the same time.

Anyway just an update. To whoever is still reading.

November 27, 2011

Well I've hit the one week mark.

It's been easier than I thought although there has been some very hard spots in doing so. I've come to terms with it all and have accepted that shes gone. I haven't contacted her but on 3-4 occasions she's contacted me to see how I am.. like just before. All of these times I give limited responses, not asking how she is doing because I know that will just make it worse when she says she is doing "fine" which I'm sure she is lol. I have said I am doing fine which I think I am.

I have surrounded myself with some female company a couple of times (not for anything like that, just they are better talkers / listeners) which has helped. It's 17 days until I move and I'm feeling very anxious about it although I know it will be good I'm scared at the same time.

Anyway just an update. To whoever is still reading.

i've been off this weekend, sounds great that you are controlling her and not the other way around. what i think you should do is to tell her this. trust me you will feel better. call her up, tell her that you think this is the best for you both and you dont want her to initiate contact anymore. tell her, if there's something really important of course you could give me a call, but not just to what im up to. im doing better then ever right now,

i even told her that i dont want to go back together. this will if anything create a loneliness in her. al though i didnt do it to get back together. i did it for two other good reasons 1. all the pressure is gone, she will not contact me. she actually cried when i told her. 2. if there's any chance in the future, i think thats the way to do it.

you know how people that has been dumped always say, i cant find another one like her. and remember what i said about, "my little town, theres no one here to meet, clubs sucks etc". funny story, i actually met a girl fridaynight at the freekin club. she is more then fantastic. and she likes me a lot. im not going to jump in to a relationship, but this was amazing to me at this point of my life. and the best thing was that "i" started to talk with her:) i realize that sometime you just have to go for it

December 5, 2011

how are things working out for you?

December 22, 2011

how are things working out for you?

Chados, see here

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=3779880#post3779880

Thanks !

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