Miss S H Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Hi guys! So here’s my story: Broke up with ex bf about 2 months ago, took a while to feel better and gain closure as I was the dumpee. It hit my confidence, but slowly after a few therapy sessions and support from friends, as well as getting back out there, it started coming back and I was feeling good. So 3 weeks ago, after finally feeling at peace with the break up – although still hurt- I went out with a girlfriend for a night of dancing. Through one of my girlfriends’ friends I meet this new cute boy, and instantly I could tell he was interested and surprisingly- so was I! I was so happy, just chatting to someone with such banter and energy, I felt so refreshed! We spent the next 8 hours glued to each other, to the dismay of both his friends and mine, who both wanted attention, but still we had an amazing time chatting and there wasn’t a doubt in my mind the feeling was mutual… at the end of the night, we shared a kiss and exchanged numbers. He called the next morning (4 hours later!) and took me out all day, for another 12 hours and by the end neither of us was bored! I was feeling so good and happy and thought the dog was having its day. I thanked him for a great time and he in turn thanked me saying he was just happy he’d met me and Id accepted his invitation as he thought we got along ridiculously! He called me every day for the next few days, with texting all throughout the day- all flattering and intelligent, without a hint of “sleaze” or “player” about him! Again, I was so happy – just with the contact! He then asked what my plans for the weekend were and asked if he could take me to his favourite restaurant on the Friday! So far, so good, another long great night! I then again, heard from him for the next 4 days straight and he was flirty, fun and flattering- and definitely interested, talking about other stuff we could do! I was still, so happy! By the end of the week, I was so happy and comfortable I messaged him to see how he was, excitedly he gets back to me, saying he has a few Christmas parties on and we talk, again it’s easy and I’m happy! He then asks me what I have planned? I say a few birthdays but if he is free at all, to let me know! I don’t hear from him, then I message him Monday asking how his Christmas parties were- he says messy and he spent all day in bed Sunday! Still interested asking me what I got up to and what I had planned for the week. I’m annoyed that I now hadn’t seen him in a week, but happy were communicating J So a few days later I message him again and although responsive he is less flirty or interested, still somewhat though. Talks a bit about me showing him funny photos from a country trip I was having with work that involved some adrenalin sports! The last thing he said was Id have to show him the photos once I had them. He said he had another Christmas party Friday, I said I had a housewarming… No mention on his behalf of us meeting. So Saturday I message him, we text all day, he is acting interested and normal again! Then I ask if he has plans for the evening, to which he has not replied. Two days on, still haven’t heard. From what I described, is it something I did which made him back off? I also notice he has made a lot of new female friends on facebook, although we aren’t fb friends. Did I do something wrong to cause the ridiculously hot pursuit to turn to a lukewarm exchange of simple texting? Or is it possible he was someone who had a lot of girls on the go, and I was expendable, despite us getting along?! Thanks for the advice guys J
Emilia Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 (edited) It's best not to get carried away until at least a couple of months of regularly seeing another person because you need to get to know each other. Maybe he met someone else, maybe he had some ex re-surfacing or could be just a complete flake who thrives on attention. Edited November 21, 2011 by Emilia
Imageiko Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 To me it seems like you started off with a ton of constant contact. I'd say it's almost impossible to keep that kind of constant contact up. As a result it's hard to tell if he's just burnt out with the constant contact or actually no longer interested.
Nic26 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I hate to speculate, but it sounds as though he just likes to have his cake and eat it! And why not, I guess it's a stage most of us go through. It doesn't sound like he's ready to settle down/be in a relationship at all, nor is he in that frame of mind. I feel like I can say with confidence that it has NOTHING to do with you! So please don't let it affect your self esteem. It's much easier said than done, I know, but these men are just not worth it. Although they are often the ones who pull on our heart strings the most...
Nic26 Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 P.s. Take things at face value with men...they are simple creatures and often don't need decoding! We can make it as complicated or as simple as we like. If he's acting interested, he is...if he's not, then he's just not that into you.
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