sid3 Posted May 26, 2004 Posted May 26, 2004 I amazed at how people can take someone back after they have cheated. I guess that is the ultimate in forgiving. People do change, for better or for worse. But your right, you can't make anyone change.
cantforget Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 people always say you are not alone if you have good family and friends. Well I have got all of that and at the risk of sounding ungrateful, its not the same. My Mum keeps telling me I can be happy on my own, having a boyfriend is not necessay to be happy. All very well for someone to say who has been happily married for 30 years. azgirl, good luck with the move. I have to admit the best thing you can do is to move out. At the moment he is having his cake and eating it to, give him a chance to try life without you and he may realise its not all that grande. Dont hang around so he can ignore you, it will be so much harder for you to let go or to move on seeing him all the time. I have not seen my ex since the split, it is better this way I think cause you cant be expected to forget about a person when you have to see them everyday.
amerikajin Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 I think it's extremely selfish to break up with someone and still want them as a friend. Selfish and laaaaaaaame I don't think it's necessarily malicious intent or anything; it's probably a way of trying to say "I like you, but not romantically". It's obviously tough to get dumped on, but the dumper also goes through some guilt (not that I'm trying to take up their cause here). From the dumper's perspective, they like the person they're dumping and they feel bad that they're putting the other person in pain.
tom_gbr Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 i think now i agree that its hard to be friends after you have been lovers....it just doesnt work....theres too much pain i think thats quite unfair that you say that men just miss the sex.....its not that that i miss at all i miss the way we used to sit on the sofa with her looking at me and smiling at me...she had the most amazing smile...i miss talking to her about her day and i miss our road trips together. but most of all i miss her company...i miss having someone that i could talk to for hours about my day and whats happened. i dont think i can be friends with her now....i wanted it so much up until now...she hurt me so much....i didnt deserve to be treated this way...i mean she said she wanted to be friends but so far its always been me initiating the contact so its obvious she does care anymore...i mean a friendship should be one sided. so ladies there are decent guys out there!...not all blokes are sex crazed
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 i was just told that someone saw my ex...and all of these memories came flooding back...andi made the mistake of telling that person that if my ex ever wanted to get back together then to call me..how stupid was that
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 does the dumper ever feel bad about dumping that person?
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Absolutely! Once upon a time, I broke up with a GREAT guy and absolutely broke his heart. I cared about him deeply, but - sadly - no spark. I felt like an absolute bitch. I cried and cried, too. So yes - the dumper can feel bad - if they have any HEART that is. I don't see how you can not feel bad about hurting someone that you care about.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by azgirl Absolutely! Once upon a time, I broke up with a GREAT guy and absolutely broke his heart. I cared about him deeply, but - sadly - no spark. I felt like an absolute bitch. I cried and cried, too. So yes - the dumper can feel bad - if they have any HEART that is. I don't see how you can not feel bad about hurting someone that you care about. well im asking because the guy who dumped me said that he wasnt letting it phase him...so im wondering if it will phase him at anytime...while he has another gf
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Well ... I think, like I said - anyone who has a HEART feels bad when they hurt someone they care about. Also ... he's probably lying. He just may not want you to see that he is upset by your break up. The other possibility is that he is a cold-hearted a**hole. Mine is reacting by getting angry and hostile toward me and he broke up with ME??? What the f*** is that all about? Plus NONE of the bulls*** that is spewing out of his mouth makes any sense! He may as well be speaking Chinese. Sometimes I get sad and cry, but right now he is making so little sense that the confusion is WAY overriding the pain. All his reasons for dumping me are backwards and make no sense. Answers to questions I ask him don't make any sense. I think he's losing his mind.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 well i was over my ex and started dating someone new..then someone said that they saw my ex by himself..without his gf....so that means he prolly doesnt have one anymore..buti made the mistake of tell the person who saw him to tell him that if he ever wanted to get back together to call me...im so mad at myself...i was finally over him and now im back to square one...i want to call him but i know i cant and he hasnt called me in god knows how long...
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by azgirl Well ... I think, like I said - anyone who has a HEART feels bad when they hurt someone they care about. Also ... he's probably lying. He just may not want you to see that he is upset by your break up. The other possibility is that he is a cold-hearted a**hole. Mine is reacting by getting angry and hostile toward me and he broke up with ME??? What the f*** is that all about? Plus NONE of the bulls*** that is spewing out of his mouth makes any sense! He may as well be speaking Chinese. Sometimes I get sad and cry, but right now he is making so little sense that the confusion is WAY overriding the pain. All his reasons for dumping me are backwards and make no sense. Answers to questions I ask him don't make any sense. I think he's losing his mind. yea but he was mean tho... yea but he does have that atitude like nothing bothers him when i know it does
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Yours was mean to you??? What kind of things did he say? Don't call him!!! I just read your other post. Sorry. Just now catching up. You know what?? If he was mean, then he doesn't deserve to have you pining for him. Like I said - people with heart - decent, kind, caring people hurt when they hurt someone else. And count yourself lucky. I live with mine still. Have to see him everyday. And have to listen to his crazed rants about how I tired too hard to make him happy and all of his other bull. At least you don't have to see your ex.
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by azgirl Yours was mean to you??? What kind of things did he say? Don't call him!!! I just read your other post. Sorry. Just now catching up. You know what?? If he was mean, then he doesn't deserve to have you pining for him. Like I said - people with heart - decent, kind, caring people hurt when they hurt someone else. And count yourself lucky. I live with mine still. Have to see him everyday. And have to listen to his crazed rants about how I tired too hard to make him happy and all of his other bull. At least you don't have to see your ex. i used to see him all the time cause we live like 5 mins from eachother...so our paths would cross almost everyday...but they said that if it was meant to be then it will be so i duno..did u read my whole story between us?
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 No. I am probably not that well informed about it. What happened? How long has it been??
meanttolive4ever Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Me 'n' my ex broke up back in Feb. We were together for like 10 1/2 months. I treated him like gold. Ok, when we broke up he used the excuse that he "fell" out of love, and felt like we were better off friends (which i think he's lying). Anyway, he asked if it was official, after HE was the one who was breaking up with me. After i said no, that it wasn't official. He was like, "That's not fair," and started to make a big scene out of it. So, I leave there boyfriend-less. Well, he kept calling me, but i would never pick up the phone since my mom said not to. I wanted him to miss me. Then, 2 weeks later, he's with this high school chick. She's 16 and he's going on 20. They break up, and he tries to go with another girl. They break up, and the high school girl is back with him. They've been back togther for about a month, but he would call me when she was at school because he was "bored." When we broke up, he did say that in the future there was a definite possiblity that we would get back together. I just don't know when. Every time he's around me he flirts with me. I called him the other day, and asked him why he hadn't called me. He said he was busy (actually my mom had called like 2 weeks earlier and told him to quit calling me). He just sounded like he was either down or that he was mad. But, I told him to call me and he said ok. So, I'm just waiting to see if he'll call. But this girl, I hate her. She's lying about sleeping with him, and she was in a car with two other guys. He even asked her if she was saying all that stuff and she said no ... and he believed her! I love him so much and i would do anything for him. Should I just let him get all of this out of his system or what?
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Um. Unfortunately, honey, I don't think you have a choice but to let him get it out of his system. And in the meantime, you might meet someone who does not have anything to get out of his system. Ya know?? I know what you mean about treating someone like gold. I treated mine like a GOD. I did so mush stuff for him. Little stuff and big stuff. The other night, he lashed out at me and bitched me out for A) doing all of that stuff for him and "trying to hard to make him happy." B) always thinking that someone was meddling behind the scenes and trying to get him to break up with me. C) staying with my ex from before him for too long (what the hell does that have to do with anything??) And on and on he went. Like I did something wrong to him to deserve this. What do make of that?? Why the anger towards me?? Is he trying to get angry at me to justify what he is doing?? Is he trying to convince himself that this is right?? What is up with that??
jk Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Originally posted by meanttolive4ever does the dumper ever feel bad about dumping that person? Well, I'm going to dump my bf of 2 years and 10 months tonight. I feel like I have to do it for myself because he doesn't have the guts to do it himself- it will be too painful for him to hurt me like that a second time. I honestly don't feel too bad about it right now because I'm ready to move on. He is confused about his life, about me, and is just out to use me. Deep down I hope my leaving him will teach him a lesson about taking me for granted what he had and how he had the willingness to just throw our relationship away instead of wanting to work things out.
TxTechGirl04 Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 AZGIRL, I sent you a PM...just wanted you to know
TxTechGirl04 Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 well you sent me one the other day!!! So I sent you one back...go to community forums and on there it will say somewhere about personal messages...
azgirl Posted May 27, 2004 Posted May 27, 2004 Yeah. I got it and sent you one back. I just couldn't figure out how to get back there. I found it, though.
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