Glove_slap Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Feeling lonely, miss her but also miss the feeling of being loved and loving someone. I've already accepted that we could never be together again and that we would have lasted because of the paths life forces us to take. We were both young and even though I let go of my mischievous past by the time I was eighteen she barely even did anything bad. Classic good girl gone bad after turning bad boy good. I feel like breaking no contact because its just been so long but then again the girl I once knew is long gone. We were together for three years, she broke up with me and started dating someone else a couple weeks later. It's been so long..I can't believe she hasn't made any attempt to contact me not that that's the reason I went no contact for but I just felt that if I ever meant anything to her that she would at least try to make amends instead of going about it as if I never existed.
Lowib Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 hey man, I know how you're feeling. I dated a girl for 3 years, I was her first. We broke up and she started dating someone else too. This was 3 years ago, I have not heard from her since. I still think about her, and now that the pain from that relationship is gone I can look back and appreciate what we had. AND what I`ve had since. I`m back in the same position, hoping my ex will contact me but she probably never will, and I helped raise her kid from birth. Thing is, your life will go on. Don`t worry about it and shrug it off. There is no explaining why she hasn`t contacted you at all. But, I``m sure deep down she will always remember and care about you. It`s life, it sucks sometimes but focus on what`s coming not what`s going.
nu464 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I also can relate your feeling I'm also fealure of being in lOve. I give him every but still his nit contented the way I am his not atraCted with me any more and for that I really really feel broken!! I need to move on, but I can it because where just neighbor every time I go out side or have some business huh. His always at there garage with her new girlfriend and it feel's so hurt!!
Author Glove_slap Posted November 22, 2011 Author Posted November 22, 2011 hey man, I know how you're feeling. I dated a girl for 3 years, I was her first. We broke up and she started dating someone else too. This was 3 years ago, I have not heard from her since. I still think about her, and now that the pain from that relationship is gone I can look back and appreciate what we had. AND what I`ve had since. I`m back in the same position, hoping my ex will contact me but she probably never will, and I helped raise her kid from birth. Thing is, your life will go on. Don`t worry about it and shrug it off. There is no explaining why she hasn`t contacted you at all. But, I``m sure deep down she will always remember and care about you. It`s life, it sucks sometimes but focus on what`s coming not what`s going. This is one of the truest things I've ever heard. Thank you.
lolita jade Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 For me, The first relatonship I had was unforgetable. Relationships since have been a bit hit and miss but your first, or first long term is something you will always have a soft spot for. A year is long enough to try that call I think. After a long enough break if she is single and holds a soft spot for you, you are in with an ounce of a chance. Make it light hearted though and just ask her if she fancies a drink. Dont do any heavy stuff or start bringing up any bad points. If she doesnt want to know. At least you tried. And you can carry on with your life being able to move on with confidence.
Zabs Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Glove, Excuse my bad memory here..it may have been Ego or Wilson...one of the EST Mems here anyway..who earlier on this weeks had said that can walking away not be a kindness. Can it? If she walked away and given NC since..could it be that she really cared so that she knew HOW much she had hurt you..and perhaps felt that it would be selfish to break NC just to appease her sense of guilt...playing DA here but..do you get me? Personally..if I hurt the person I was with soooo much...I would apologise..but then leave them to get on with their life. I did this recently with a g/f of mine. I hurt her in a pretty unforgivable way...but have since apologised. Since my apologies are always sincere..I do not bleed over it..and even though it hurts and I lost her through my own error..I love her enough to let her get on with her life..and stay well out of it. She will always have a piece of my heart as a friend...but I will never contact her again..out of respect for her...do you see what I mean? Much love Zabs xx
danny1972 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 NOOOO do not contact her , if she feels the same she WILL contact you , could you really handle rejection ? or how well she is doing with someone else ? this will only delay the healing process and put you back to square one , move on with your life , if she feels anything she WILL find you if not at least you know
Lil1 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Personally..if I hurt the person I was with soooo much...I would apologise..but then leave them to get on with their life. I did this recently with a g/f of mine. I hurt her in a pretty unforgivable way...but have since apologised. Since my apologies are always sincere..I do not bleed over it..and even though it hurts and I lost her through my own error..I love her enough to let her get on with her life..and stay well out of it. She will always have a piece of my heart as a friend...but I will never contact her again..out of respect for her...do you see what I mean? Much love Zabs xx I agree with Zabs on this one. I recently reached out to my first ex (together for almost 7 years) after 3 years of NC. We had a very rough break-up and hurt eachother pretty badly. He tried to make things work but I was adamant about letting things go and ended the relationship (probably not in the best way but I don't want to get into details). I reached out to him because I have always felt that I owe him an apology. He is a good person and did not deserve the way I treated him when I ended our relationship. I instituted NC because I did not want to give him false hopes for a reconciliation. He keeps in touch with my family and I think that because of this I felt it would be ok to reach out to him at this time. His response was very gracious and sincere. He appreciated me reaching out to him, accepted my apology, and sincerely hopes the best for me. I am back to NC out of respect for him. He has moved on with his life (as have I) and I don't believe in keeping a friendship with an ex (for many reasons - but mostly because it really isn't fair to the next SO). I felt a need to reach out to him because he is a good person and he deserves at least an apology from me. Iv'e had my heart broken to a million pieces after my relationship with him ended so now that the shoe is on the other foot I can appreciate the value of a sincere apology. If your aim is to give/get closure or to genuinely apologize then I say go for it, but make sure you come from an honest place within yourself. If you still have romantic feelings for her then it's best to leave things the way they are. She has moved on and so should you. It's good to learn from our past but don't dwell on it. Good luck OP!
Numb121 Posted November 22, 2011 Posted November 22, 2011 Hey fella I too understand the pain that you endure during the breakup and healing process. I have been broken up with my ex for around 8 months now after a 3 yr relationship. There's no doubt that there are a lot of memories, special times and bad times that you two shared. The fact that you accept it's over is a great great start. What you need to do is believe that time really does heal and during that 'time' you focus on you and you only. You're number 1 priority right now, not your ex. Once you're able to control those emotions and feelings, don't be afraid to reach out to her. Maybe you two could at least remain civil for now. See where things go from there. Just remember, never say never and you really don't know what's around the corner for you. Best of luck.
Author Glove_slap Posted November 23, 2011 Author Posted November 23, 2011 Thank you for all the support everyone, I truly appreciate it. This site has helped me get over some tough times in the past and I'm sure it will help me in the future. As narcissistic as this may sound I say it with pure gratefulness, that I'm not the only one that has gone through what I've gone through as I've felt so alone for such a long time..
wilsonx Posted November 23, 2011 Posted November 23, 2011 I think the correct term is masochistic =) Just throwing that out there pleasure in being abused or dominated : a taste for suffering
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