Ladies, when you make a mistke, why is it hard for you to admit it. EVen to yourselve

[ShannonMI]

@Shannon.

 

They freak out often enough.

 

This is why many girls who are post-op and can pass, even down there, never ever tell. They tell their husband that they are sterile/had a hysterectomy and cut all ties with their past lives.

 

Some guys freak out so badly that they kill the woman.

 

Female to male transsexuals face similar problems. Male to female transsexuals who are lesbian, bi or just open to dating women face similar problems.

 

I really just wanted to point out that both genders do it. It's not a male VS female thing. When it comes to sex, gender and mating there is nothing rational or logical about it.

Yes this is what I figured. I've heard of men killing transsexual women. That's such a sad thing. I can understand why some never tell. It's sad to me because they FINALLY get to live as the gender they feel they are and then they are judged and prosecuted or sometimes even killed because of who they are. It's like there is no winning.

 

I think it's awesome that you are on LS and you feel comfortable enough to tell us you are a transsexual. That takes a lot of courage and I applaud you for that. I hope no one here has judged you or been nasty to you. I really feel your opinion is more valuable then some because you've been both male AND female. It gives you a bit of an advantage.

[Disenchantedly Yours]

Mrlonelyone

Both genders do the whole reality distortion thing. The difference is that our society allows women to get away with it unquestioned.

 

No, the difference is that society does let women get away with certain things and it lets men get away with other things. Do you know how I know this? Because when it comes to male sexual behavior, everything gets excused and boiled down to "that's just how men are". The difference isn't that women "get away" with things. It's that men and women get away with different things.

 

Many supposedly innate gender differences are nothing more than social window dressing on a underlying biological reality. Yes women do bond more emotionally to their partners and children and friends than men do. Yes women do care more than men about how others see them.

 

Again, I disagree. While men are not as open in their emotions, they don't bond "less" then women do. They just don't show their emotions as easily as women do. Although I do think women put more stock in their relationships being tied to their worth then a man might. However, once in a relationship, men and women have equal capability to bond to each other jsut as much..or with children. Especially living in this age where men have taken on more fatherly responsibilities then father's from previous generations. (That's not to say that fathers of other generations loved their children less but fathers today are different.)

[Disenchantedly Yours]

dasein

Less lecture and more straightforward disagreement please. You are making my point for me.

 

Hypocrite much? You should really take your own advice first. Because your comment above is not anything close to a “straightfoward disagreement”, but is it's own lecture and command.

 

By the way, do share how me stating my personal opinion and disagreement with your thoughts by starting my post off with introducing my opinion on your comments and the ridiculousness associated with them “prove” anything you said? Especially since the rest of my post was straight forward and specific in it’s disagreement with you.

 

Kinda, close enough I guess, and a side point that I'd like to clarify is that lots of women seem to do fine with these things at work and school, the reasoning flaws I'm identifying seem to be related mainly to dealings with men and relationships.

 

If you believe men have rationality coined when it comes to women and relationships, you're not being logical to begin with. When it comes to relationships between the genders, men and women do see things differently and sometimes have different desires and needs that cause them to place a focus on one thing over the other. It doesn’t make one more or less wrong but it does require compromise from both sides. Absorbing a condescending attitude toward the other because you got some twisted little nugget in your brain that women are less logical in relationships than men, when I see both women AND men making mistakes and having issues in all different facets of their relationships shows an amazing lack of personal insight for yourself as a man and the male gender in general. When you learn to enjoy women for who they are, you will enjoy them much more then you clearly do now. Otherwise, I suggest you date men where you can make your romantic relationship about math and science figures.

 

D

Disagree, reason is reason. Also disagree with people who claim there are all types of intelligence. IMO there is one intelligence and different people apply it in varying degrees to differently prioritized issues in their life, giving the illusion of different types of intelligence. In other words, IMO, a smarter person who has never prioritized relationships in their life can quickly outstrip a much less intelligent person in general understanding once the smarter person begins to focus on relationships. IMO that we are all unique and special in our specific talents is faux egalitarian claptrap

.

 

If you disagree with people who claim there are all types of intelligence then you disagree with science. Considering that in an individual's own mind, he/she has certain strengths and weaknesses in different sectors of their own mind that were developed through their DNA and a combination of life experience and education.

 

A smarter person who never prioritized relationships in their life MIGHT be able to change that. However, where some aspects of their intelligence may help them, other aspects of their intelligence may harm their goal just as much. It’s not an absolute. And to insinuate that all intelligent people can accomplish anything if they put their mind to it is a little too after-school-special for it to be grounded in logic. Just because someone can do math or science doesn't mean they will be able to handle their relationsihps well or even be able to "learn" how to do such things. Especially if they pride themsleves more on their math and science skills then their personal relationships.

 

What I'm talking about with women creating a favorable reality is not the same as intelligence, but has something to do with the different ways the genders manipulate the environment to achieve goals.

 

Frankly, I have no clue whaty ou mean by women creating a "favorable reality" since I never seen a woman do it.

 

But do share with me, how do men manipulate the environment to achieve their goals? Since you already told us what *you* think women do.

 

 

Oh it sure is, with notable exceptions in both genders, but it sure is.

 

I’m sorry but your response to my comments is more akin to “It is so...” then anything worthy of discussion. Not even sure why you took the time to write this much when it doesn’t really contribute anything to the discussion.

 

It is actually, at least as far as obtaining the desired results in the environment.

 

Again, another vague and not very well thought out response.

 

Assuming that the way men approach a problem, as a man, and linking it to be “better” automatically for no other reason then the false idea that men rationalize better in relationships because they are good in math and science, with no real data or information on how men reason within relationships, doesn’t help your argument.

 

 

The fact that you equated what I posted to the above helps prove my point.

 

The fact that you can’t further explain anything your saying but to type out these vague one liners proves mine. That men are not all inclusively more logical beings. You keep making this vague statement but your not able to back it up with anything intelligent.

 

 

No one said otherwise, men just accept accountability for their mistakes better.

 

Since when?

 

That certainly hasn’t been my life experience. It also doesn’t really even apply to what we see here with lots of men blaming women for everything with little to none self reflection involved.

 

 

DY said:

By the way, women in general tend to be more verbal and use more words then men do. Are we going to say that women are better communicators because of that? I certainly don't think women are always better communicators. Do you?

 

Dasein's response:

Unrelated and irrelevant, you are making my arguments for me.

 

Once again, you haven't been able to say anything intelligent but to fall back on a vague, non scientific weak sentence about how I am making your argument for you. However, you are unable to further explain why or even counter it with a logical point in reponse.

 

This is completely relevant. We are talking about how our brains work and what men and women are generally known to achieve more success in. Scientifically, women are known to be more verbal with a wider vocab and infinity for language. Are we going to say that women are better communicators for this reason?

 

Now you can keep parroting the same comment over and over again, “you are making my arguments for me”, or you can have an actual logical and rational discussion. Which do you prefer. Because I have to say, not saying anything other then one liners and think that disproves anything or repeatedly leaning on “you’re making my argument for me” is really the least logical response you could make.

 

 

Will just pluck phineas out of the air as one example, have seen him posting in the past and acknowledging that his prior problems with women stemmed from his expectation that they would accept him as he was, and that once he realized that error he corrected it by getting in good physical shape. Sorry if I have mischaracterized phineas' posts, may have him confused with someone else, but that seems like a clear acceptance of accountability to me and once realized, taking steps to correct. I don't see much of that among women in these parts, maybe a handful.

 

Oh well gosh darn, well you got me..that certainly proves men tak accountability. (sarcasm)

 

You're going to have to do better then that.

 

This board is a perfect example of men that can't take accountability for themselves and their lives and instead choose to blame women for their personal issues.

[Trollhunter]

i know there has to be some women that take responsibilty.

 

No DUH! That's called being an adult. You think all women don't want to admit mistakes, no wonder you're still single.

[samsungxoxo]

That's an interesting point.

 

I find that "I'm sorry" is a lot easier to say when I truly feel sorry. I WANT to say it when I feel sorry.

 

I find the same is true for my children. When you force a young child to say "sorry", it can be like pulling teeth (and clearly not sincere). But if you give the child some space, let them process the situation, and listen to their point of view, often they will offer a genuine apology on their own--especially if it has been modeled (the adult apologizes to them, as well).

 

Adults aren't so different.

I think my mother played a bit of a role here. I can't recalled how old I was then but must have been years ago. She almost forced me to say sorry to my father for something to do with talking back or just standing my ground. I refused to because it wouldn't come naturally from me and didn't felt sorry.

Then another example: In middle school, I stomped on this jerk's toes (and I really meant it, in fact he was lucky I was not mad enough), unfortunately the teacher saw this and made me apologize . I wasn't sorry, that kid bothered me so I got upset. But you can't challenge a teacher or any other school authorities else you can get suspended.

Edited November 25, 2011 by samsungxoxo

[samsungxoxo]

Present-day: I still have a struggle with it but will apologize only if I feel I'm at fault and the person is hurt. I will say sorry when I really mean it, not be forced.

 

If it was the case of ''Say you're sorry or else you get time'' then so beat it. I will take time then.