Scirok Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 So I thought I would come back and give everyone an update on my progress. 4 months broken 3 months N/C (sigh). For those who dont know my story I'm 23 my girlfriend was 20 and she left me after three years for a man with no job addicted to Percocets and doesn't have anything else going for him he didn't graduate high school he doesn't have a license for me and others going through the same similar situation it's tough seeing you lose someone to someone who is so ****ty and someone who so much lower than yourself she left me basically without warning and although I think She was cheating on me I'm not really sure to this day It's been a struggle I'm not gonna lie and say its easy. But you have to listen to everybody on this website they all know what they're talking about and they have all lived what you're now living through when they say it's that it gets better it does it gets better with time But when you finally break through that gate and you see the other side and you stop becoming so sad you see how happy you really can be without anybody else around it does suck at times but sometimes it's better just to be alone I found new hobbies that I enjoy doing by myself but I don't need anybody else to be there. Now for the other part of my story so recently I found out through mutual friend whether I know it is true or not she told her that she didn't miss me at all and that she wanted to leave me for a long time and like normally this would hurt me really bad and it didn't hurt little bit but in the end I really didn't care at all because who knows if she's telling the truth or not or she's just trying to make herself feel better I don't know that I frankly don't care anymore. Small problem that I'm faced with now is that I'm lonely I'm tired of sitting at my house by myself and you know there's only so much you can go do with your friends and do with yourself and so it gets boring you know when you want to have that person to cuddle with you want to have that person to stay with and you know it sucks sometimes to not have anybody to go to but in the same instance I don't want another girlfriend I have zero trust for woman now I've been hurt in multiple times in my life and I just don't see the point of having another relationship I don't know if it's too soon or I haven't met the right person but I've met many girls now since I broken up with my ex but I just don't have feelings for them I don't trust them It seems like it's almost become socially exceptible for girls to be whores now and that it doesn't mean anything every girl around me is just become a huge slut like I see like my family I see my Friends girlfriends girls that I know and they all seem to cheat on their boyfriends or husbands it's just crazy like it it doesn't seem like it's socially unacceptable for people to cheat anymore it almost seems like it's normal in a relationship I don't know it's just crazy I know people are going to be like well not all girls are like that or not all guys are like that but look around you look at how many people you know have been cheated on or cheat and just no one knows it's crazy but I just don't understand why it's normal for people to cheat nowadays. I'm just not sure what I should do with my life if any of you guys have an idea that I just don't know I don't know what's going to make me happy at my current state
ChelseaLS Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I seriously hope you can get over your lack of trust for women. I swear we are not all that way, and we are not all whores. There are tons of wonderful trustworthy girls who have morals out there. As for the cheating aspect.. it being socially acceptable, I have asked myself the same damn question for years. It made me very bitter and untrusting myself for years. It is something I have been working on and am still working on. I know you are lonely and missing the companionship, cuddling ect. of relationships. I find the best things happen when you least expect them, or are not searching for them. I don't know what to offer as an idea of what might make you happy... perhaps try something new? Learn something new?
Author Scirok Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 Ya it's just so hard how many times can u hit a dog before he stops coming near you (bad analogy ya) but seriously one man can only handle so much of girls bull**** in life you treat them good they lose intrest you treat them like dirt and they love you cause they try to fix You. And about what you said it happens when your not looking everyone's been telling me that and you know I'm Begining to lose hope and intrest Plus I do not wanna be hurt again. Anyone else got some input "I hope one day she lives just two hours of pain that I lived for 2 months"
leoc1973 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Dude I know exactly what you mean. I mean I have never cheated on a girl. I am a lot older than you 38 I have had 4 long term relationships. I don't know what to tell you because after living a lot more life and a lot more heartache than you it seems like my life is a broken record. I treat them the best way I know how and they do lose interest. They all seem to leave me for this edgy rich guy that flies them away somewhere. I guess the only satisfaction I get is they always come back... only after I have moved on after I cried myself to sleep every night that effing song where they talk about praying to a god that I don't believe in!! omg thats me. Its by the script. I have tried everything. But really they always seem to come back especially the younger girls soon as you lose interest. You move on and bam there they come. Seriously the only satisfaction. If you figure out how to trust again let me know cause this last one really screwed me up! I would have trusted her on a bed with the chippendales high drunk naked thats how much this girl made me feel that she loved me. I don't know if she actually cheated but she hooked up days after so I am assuming that she did. I just don't have it in me to be a controlling ******* so I guess I will try girl number 5 and see if I ever have a happy ending! Good luck buddy let me know if you find a way to be happy again cause I am stumped I just feel dead inside!
ChelseaLS Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I could say the same thing about guys from my own experience. I loved them unconditionally and got **** on.... but I know that not all guys are like that. I did get bitter once from one of my ex's, but I don't want to be that angry again.
Chi townD Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I understand that you're lonely. Been there, done that....But, you're being smart about it. Don't start dating until you are ready. Any sooner and you're not being fair to yourself or the girl you're dating. Find a hobby to get into...running club at the gym, cycling club or extreme racing teams are always looking for other team members. Take up a cooking class, or arrange a trip away with some friends. Whitewater rafting, or dog sledding. Go snorling at the reef park in Key Largo! DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT!!!! And you'll be surprised by the people you meet along the way. Perphaps someone that you share a common interest with that might spark something you thought you lost!
Author Scirok Posted November 24, 2011 Author Posted November 24, 2011 ya its just crazy u have to have the perfect combo of treating like **** and treating them good and that what i had for a while untill i started really falling for this girl. dont know if she could tell that was the case but in the begnining of the relationship she liked me and i didnt like her and we hung out alot and.... well ya and i fell for her cause i say how sweat she was of a girl plus the extras and we dated for a long time before being "official" and after that time i realized this was a girl i wanted to be with and 3 years followed. but towards the end of are relationship last 6 months of so i started becoming nicer and treating her better never treated her bad but doing more romantic things etc and she lost intrest in me just sad im tired of girls b******* that they want a good guy who will treat them good thats bull**** they get that and complain.
wilsonx Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 So Scirok, reflecting on this, what would you look for in future girls/women to prevent you from falling into this trap again
mike588 Posted November 24, 2011 Posted November 24, 2011 Yea I know how you guys feel. Next time I'll try(may not be sucessful) to treat them bad and just see what happens. Lets see here do we start: Show up late or better yet don't show up at all Flirt with other women when your out, better yet take one home. Don't say I love you,, say I like you Never bring her flowers Don't listen to them, better yet tell them to shut up Tell her your broke, you pay for the dinner,drinks, other You get my point, care to add any?
Author Scirok Posted November 27, 2011 Author Posted November 27, 2011 It's sad isn't it most girls live a giant lie when they say they want a good guy and when u treat them good they cheat. They need that feeling that their changing the guy or "he will change" when u give them all they want there's nothing left to want anymore and they get bored you have to balance the perfect amount of ******* and good guy to keep a girl sadly. Can any girls chime in on this with honest opinions
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