What does she mean??

[AwptiK]

Alright... So here's a little brief background: been dating a coworker on and off for the past 3 months. She's 22 and a single mother of a 2 year old, I'm 20.

 

We've had a few speedbumps down the road, mainly dealing with her not being able to handle a relationship. She JUST got out of a relationship with her son's father days prior to us first talking. She legitimately hasn't been able to handle a relationship and being a newly-single mother, thankfully she's probably the most blunt person ever.

 

Most recent speedbump doesn't have to do with that. Finally, she was ready for a relationship. Two weeks after that, this past Saturday, I messed up. Too long of a story, but I royally pissed her off one night with my first (AND LAST EVER) drunken call. I woke up her son, he was up until 6am, lead to a ruined Sunday.

 

She ended things Tuesday, after letting me know she was mad at me on Sunday and no contact between then and working together Tuesday. Stupidly, out of anger, I said "I shouldn't have tried to date a single mother." I spent a good bit of time apologizing and trying to get her to see that I said it out of anger and had fully accepted her having a son.

 

--

 

She texted me Thursday morning asking how much I wanted for the iPad I mentioned wanting to sell. I said "I sold it. Sorry. Please don't text me again for a while.... I love you and I'm tearing myself up over that comment I made the other night. I worked so hard for the past three months to have it taken away by being drunk -.-"

 

There was no contact after my text, until today.

 

I just found out that the following day, she told a coworker about what I said. She didn't say much about her feelings, but she said the situation was crazy and that she still intended to talk to me at work as friends would. That's what I intended too, I just simply asked her not to text me for a while.

 

 

I came in to work today and went into the office, she wrote a note about what had to be done today, heading it with "Since you're not talking to me". I sat in the office for a few minutes and she came in, I said "what's up with that note?" she said, "you haven't spoken to me". I said "I simply asked you not to text me, because of how I feel about you. Im fine with talking about work and whatever" she said "okay" and that was it.

 

 

I have no idea what she means or is thinking, that's why I'm asking here..

 

She knew that what she started the note with was going to get a reaction from me.

"you haven't spoken to me" comes off a lot differently than "you said you didn't want to talk"

 

I'm more concerned in knowing what she meant and what she wanted, than a solution to having her back again. If that happens, cool; if not, no big deal.

 

For tomorrow, i'm pretty set on saying, "I'm sorry for not talking to you, I just needed some time and space. I'm over it," then leaving and heading home. One, I bet i'll have her wondering what exactly i'm over. Honestly, it's being over needing my own time to be mad at myself. Two, i'm simply opening the door to give her what she wanted - to talk like normal at work.

 

Knowing what I know about her, she WILL like me, continue to have feelings, etc, if we're talking period. It's happened THREE times after ending things, four is not a stretch. As soon as there is that opening to talk normally, I can run away with it. She just can't not like me, (not bragging).

 

I'm not quite sure if having feelings again is what I want, but i'm intending to have that as an option down the road if I do decide to continue pursuing her.

 

 

Thanks guys.

 

Original post was edited and shortened a LOT, to hopefully get some answers without a long book.

Last edited by AwptiK; Yesterday at 10:40 PM.

[dasein]

First, of all the women in the world, you pick one at your work, very young single mother, who just got out of a relationship. Please consider moving on, right now, from this one and making a commitment to avoid such in the future. The odds of this turning into a quality LTR are so low that you might as well call them 0.

 

Second, she doesn't care about you and never did... unless... you said something truly egregiously psycho on the drunk call, did you? I have a hunch you didn't say anything that bad. People who care about someone don't break up off the bat like that. And you say you have been through this cycle 3-4 times? Why do you persist in wasting your time and putting yourself through this baggagey drama?

 

Third, she is using you for support, you are an "in between men" or rebound man for her. The minute someone comes along she perceives as better, she will be done with you in a heartbeat. She hasn't found him yet, so will selfishly keep you around dragging you through these cycles at her leisure.

 

Please consider moving on to more available women who will treat you better. Good luck.

[phineas]

Let's not forget the "ex".

There is a good chance she is still sleeping with him and trying to get back with him.

[AwptiK]

Fair enough. Thanks for the replies. For one, she never answered the phone that night. I called and the ringing awoke her son. Pretty petty fault, even though it ruined the entire next day, anyone could have called her at night..

 

Two, the ex is nearly out of the picture. She has a civilized relationship with him, but she is not goin back to him or thinking of being with him. Everyone who knows her always says "are you staying away from ----".

 

I guess I'll go with the main part of your advice though and move along. I don't come across many girls, as a friend said, she was just "first available". She is a great person and we're very similar, so it is hard to move on.

 

I see her in about half an hour and I'll try and talk to her normally, in attempt to have a working-environment friendship with her. Nothing more...

 

Thanks again. Gotta meet some new women...

[dasein]

For one, she never answered the phone that night. I called and the ringing awoke her son.

 

In light of this, get away that much faster. This woman is a bitch, and I rarely use that word.