Courious Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I was with my ex for a year and 6 months.We had several minor breakups but would get back together the same night next day.These were brought on by either her having cold feet her me hyping up a petty issue. So..About a week and a half ago i txt her moaning about the same old thing (she doesn't make time, got time for everything else, all about work, its one sided effort), ive done this before.Its almost as if i have to do this to get through to her.She txt me repeatedly saying im right and this isnt a relationship,shes sorry she wasnt the one,she says how i made her realise.Big mistake sending the initial txt!..Then the roles reversed.I was the one backtracking saying i was emotional and we can work on things.She just went cold.I said some hurtful things.She was telling me its over, its done.Next minute she said you couldnt do it and wanted me back but needs time.Then back to we can meet but the relationships done..That night she phoned asking how i was then slept on the phone to me like she normally would :s Then went back to cold and distant.I was doing the typical pleading, sending needy txts.We arranged to meet.Friday just gone.So it was about a week and two days since the breakup happened.We talk in the car.I tell her i didnt meet to plead or ask for a second chance but to apologize and tell her i understand why she left.She's crying saying i said hurtful things and she needs to be happy with herself.I went to near enough pleading (which i said i wasnt going to do)saying the breakup was a good thing, that we had time to reflect and can make way for fresh start.She said a key thing.That.I always try to manipulate my way back in and give her the guilt trip.She said she dont want this..I was frustrated said bye in a harsh way.she said why do i have to go on like that.i said that i said bye then went.i txt her when she went, apologizing for how i left it and saying i didnt get one last kiss.She txt back a while later saying we can be friends in time. I carried on with the dramatic txts.Yesterday i messaged her saying if i would like to be friends that we could at least save the friendship.she said she appreciates that i wanna save some part of it and be friends.we've shared couple friendly txts...If you want your ex back is being friends the best route or no contact.on one side i can show her the me she fell for.Though she has that comfort of havng me there easily moving on while im still hurting.Or go no contact, get on with it whilst making her become curious of what happened to me?
ChelseaLS Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Could you honestly be friends with your ex? If she starts dating again, could you do it? or would you fly off the handle? I know I could never be friends with my ex, it would be like salt in the wounds. I think you need to go NC and work on your own issues (i.e. the manipulation). You will just find yourself in this same situation whether it be with a new relationship or reconcile with the ex if you don't fix your issues.
Hotforteacher Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 I agree with what you say.. I am allowed to hurt though. It just sucks at the moment.
nu464 Posted November 21, 2011 Posted November 21, 2011 Second to you mike! There is so many people in the work that will free to be a friend then why should you choice your ex? That's a stupid choice..
Author Courious Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 Could you honestly be friends with your ex? If she starts dating again, could you do it? or would you fly off the handle? I know I could never be friends with my ex, it would be like salt in the wounds. I think you need to go NC and work on your own issues (i.e. the manipulation). You will just find yourself in this same situation whether it be with a new relationship or reconcile with the ex if you don't fix your issues. Not at this moment in time..Ive already messaged her saying why i couldnt be friends right now..Because i still have strong feelings for her on a intimate level so i would just be putting myself through more pain being friends.Yh tre if she was dating and i was her 'friend' it would be salt in the wounds.Thats the problem i try go NC but then mess it up again.We was together a year and a half.Which is the longest for me and for her.Im the first shes done it with.She said to her mate something about staying true to herself.But if her feelings for me were genuine thats doing the opposite :s
Author Courious Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 I agree with what you say.. I am allowed to hurt though. It just sucks at the moment. Sure does
Author Courious Posted November 21, 2011 Author Posted November 21, 2011 Second to you mike! There is so many people in the work that will free to be a friend then why should you choice your ex? That's a stupid choice.. True.Deep down i know i want her as a friend only so i can gradually build things back up with her.
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