Berlington Bob Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 It's been exactly 2 weeks since my fiance and I broke up. 3 weeks since she cheated on me. Tonight I went out to a show my friend's band was playing at. On the way there I had typed 2 half-messages to my ex. One saying "I miss you" and one just saying we should get together. I decided to wait until tomorrow to send anything and just go to the bar and have a good time, not looking to hook up with anyone. While I was there and at the after party a girl and I started talking and she thought I was cute. She is 5 years older than my ex, at least as hot as my ex and on top of it she has her masters degree and seems really cool. I'm posting about this because even though I doubt anything permanent will happen between her and me, just the fact that I went out and got a girl's number makes all my feelings of breaking NC completely disappear. I'm not going to rush into a serious relationship since I just got out of one but it's pretty cool to not have the panicky feeling anymore. Tonight I was able to say to myself "She cheated on you and she's a hippie lover* and she doesn't deserve you" and actually mean it. I just want all the people who are questioning their self worth to know that if I can go meet someone at a bar, they can meet someone ANYWHERE. I have never ever been good at meeting girls at the bar. All my past dates have come from co-workers. All you have to do is put yourself out there and just go assuming you wont meet anyone and you are just going to have a good time. *she cheated on me with a hippie, nothing against any hippies here
M2155 Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I think attention from new people always helps to give you confidence. I think one of the biggest mental hurdles after a breakup is that you can never replace the person. While you aren't ready to move on, just rediscovering other people you are attracted to do exist is positive.
ChelseaLS Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Yesterday some guy asked my gf to ask me out on a date... kind of childish because I am 27, but it was still flattering. I wouldn't give the idea a second thought as I am far from there but made me feel pretty .
Author Berlington Bob Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 (edited) Yesterday some guy asked my gf to ask me out on a date... kind of childish because I am 27, but it was still flattering. I wouldn't give the idea a second thought as I am far from there but made me feel pretty . No harm in hanging out with the guy right? I think you should. It really cleared my mind. You said in another post you are trying to work on your confidence and that you need to step out of your comfort zone. What a good chance. But just my opinion. No one knows you like you. Edited November 20, 2011 by Berlington Bob
ChelseaLS Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 No harm in hanging out with the guy right? I think you should. It really cleared my mind. You said in another post you are trying to work on your confidence and that you need to step out of your comfort zone. What a good chance. But just my opinion. No one knows you like you. No harm at all and I am the biggest preacher of that. But I am not ready yet. I have stepped out of my comfort zone on many other occasions, and my confidence is growing. I am just not in the head space for that yet. For me 44 days is not enough. My ex still has my heart. I think its flattering, but not ready.
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