Lonely Ronin Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I'm a year out of a long term (5+ years) relationship. Iv'e been on a few dates, and even had a short (few weeks) relationship, needless to say i'm over my ex and ready to start seriously dating again. My ex works at the same company as me, so until recently I ignored the opposite sex at work. About 2 months ago, a new girl joined the company, and has become a member of my social circle. She instantly got my attention, as she is intelligent, kind & attractive. I know she is single and looking, so I'm ok on that front. I've had a few short conversations with her durring happy hours, and been able to coax a smile and a few laughs out of her, so I know we click on a basic social level. One thing I've noticed is that if people aren't talking directly to her, she has a tendency to fixate on her phone. Right now I'm chalking that up to being the new girl. After a recent social gathering I had an "o screw it moment" and texted her to see if she would be interested in meeting up someplace else, since we both commented earlier that we weren't ready to go home. I got a negative response, because she was already home, and prepared for bed. When I said o well, maybe next time I got back a "definitely". I've always prided myself on the fact that I can "read" people really well. I've always been able to tell if a girl was into me really early on. I've been able to help girl & guy friends with their relationships as well. I can't read this girl at all though, she is like a blank sheet of paper. So, on the one hand I'm intrigued by her because i can't read her and i find that seductive, and on the other i'm intimidated because I don't have the security of "knowing" that I'm used to. What do people think, is being slightly intimidated by the opposite sex a good thing or a bad thing?
mammamia1 Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 "definitely" is the best answer you can get. There's nothing to complain about this situation. W/e you feel or people say, just go ahead and see her more, learn more about her, then you'll know. I don't see any reason to be "intimidated", of course you'll always have to get to know someone at the start
Author Lonely Ronin Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 I think what's intimidating is the not knowing. In all my previous relationships, I have known right a way rather the girl was interested in me, and then I just had to decide if i was interested in her. Not knowing is uncharted territory for me. I don't see any reason to be "intimidated", of course you'll always have to get to know someone at the start
betterdeal Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Retrain your thoughts. Intimidated or intrigued? Glass half empty or glass half full? If you accept the mystery, your wooing and courtship will be more intuitive and seductive rather than being literal and conscious. Seduction is often seen as a bad thing, and with the amount of insincere attempts at it, no wonder. But really, when it's genuine, it is a dance of two souls. It is wordless and timeless although you will use words and time in its course. A little coyness and holding back can be a good thing. Good flirting is ambiguous and definite at the same time. This is chemistry. Maybe you're a wee bit nervous because you are reading it well and what you're reading is there's something very real there. Often when we're faced with the real deal it can be surprising. Bask in the senses being evoked. Enjoy it. Love like you've never been hurt. Live, love, learn. Go get her, tiger!
betterdeal Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 She either doesn't want to look like a tramp, or she's not into you. Or she was ready for bed and is definitely up for meeting up outside work some other time, when she's not sleepy and about to go to sleep. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
betterdeal Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 She either doesn't want to look like a tramp, or she's not into you. Or she was ready for bed and is definitely up for meeting up outside work some other time, when she's not sleepy and about to go to sleep. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
danstanton Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Bad. Always bad. Why? Confidence is key in dating terms, whether male or female.
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