Chance of us getting back together?

[LindaXO]

I have recently went through a breakup over a week ago. I am very much still in love with him. We have been together for 3 1/2months. I'm only 21 and he's 22.

 

The thing is that when we started dating life was good. But right after we started he lost his house due to a flood, lost his job, could not return to school because he couldn't pay it. And started having family issues. And he decided to join the military so we would have a future.

 

From the start he told me that he wanted a long term relationship something that would last longer than a few months. He would always say the sweetest things about how we were perfect for each other and how he wanted to join the military to support our future. He basically asked my permission to join. He even asked me before he joined if I would support him and he asked if I would go with him to his base when he got settled. I said we would do it together and I wanted to be part of this process. He would probably be traveling a lot. Just the little things he did to show me his love tells me he loves me. He would drive a little over an hour to see me 1-3 times a week. He would also text me worried if I didn't text him back at night because I usually would. He also would make it a mission to talk to my dad because he said he wanted my family to like him. He would start conversations with my whole family actually.

 

Of course I showed him the same in return. When he went through all those issues I was there for him. I just think these issues have been building up over the last 3 months and he just lost it. He can't fix these things within that time period.

 

It was weird because 4 days before he broke up with me he was telling me that he wishes he could spend every day with me and that I'm all he ever needed in life. He said he wanted to give me the best future. He basically said that I'm what he has waited for in life. And he couldn't wait to spend the rest of our lives together.

 

I'm figuring he snapped and realized he needs to get his life together before promising me what he was.

 

The last thing he said to me was "I can't be in a relationship right now. It's a choice i need to make to clear my head from everything thats going on if i decide that I'm ready for a relationship again I will do what I have to do to prove myself to you but just can't right now."

I do beleive him I just think that he has to fix himself and his life before bringing someone he cares about into it. He is not whole right now. Our relationship is just bad timing. I'm just worried that he won't come back to me. Because I know people say couples break up for a reason but sometimes it's just what needs to be done. I know couples who get back together, I'm just worried we won't. I guess it's all going to take time.

 

I just keep telling myself that if he really does feel love towards me than he will have a hard time parting. I know what he's going through because he had an emotional breakdown before so I guess it's just escalated this time. He deleted his facebook and changed his number because I think the army gave him another phone.

 

How long does it usually take a guy to contact his ex if he wants her back? I know theres not a definite answer. This is just from experience or your opinion.

 

I appreciate anyone who reads this. I am so heartbroken and don't know what to do. The only thing I can do is wait for him to realize that he really loves me and is ready to have me back if that's what he decides. I just want some opinions on us getting back together. Thank you!

Edited November 20, 2011 by LindaXO

[BCCA]

First of all, I'm really sorry you had to go through this. There is nothing that hurts worse than a broken heart, and nothing is more devistating than loving someone with all your heart, only for them to walk out and leave you. Hang in there, you WILL get through this, I promise.

 

With that said, I hate the whole 'I cant be in a relationship right now' line. I think its selfish and a total cop-out, not to mention, I dont believe for a second that thats the reason he broke up with you. There is an old saying that goes 'where there is a will, there is a way', and its very true. When someone loves you and wants to spend their life with you, they do whatever they can to make it work. People will walk through hell in a gasoline suit to get to you if its that important. Im sure your life wasnt always peaches and cream, either, but you werent walking out on him. 'I cant be in a relationship right now' really means 'I dont WANT to be in a relationship right now'.

 

You were there for him when things went really bad in his life, and Im sure he wasnt always easy to be around, but you did it - for him. Im sure you couldve easily found someone else who wasnt going through a crisis, who would have been much easier to handle, but you stuck by him, and gave him all the reassurances in the world that you werent going to walk way, and that you were in this for the long haul. And what did you get for your troubles? Someone who broke up with you, and handed you some cop out about how he cant be in a relationship right now. Pretty selfish on his part if you ask me.

 

I'm not telling you all this to make you feel bad or to make him out to be a jerk, but Im just trying to get you to understand that people make their own choices in life, and he's making a choice to leave you and risk losing you forever. Nobody is holding a gun to his head and telling him he HAS to break up with you, he's doing it because thats what he wants to do. I know that there is such a thing as bad timing, but when people want something to work out, they do whatever it takes.

 

As far as how long it will take him to reach out and ask for you back, it could be a day or it could be never. There is no exact answer, and thats why its much beter to just assume he wont ever do that, and move on with your life. Im not saying that youll never hear from him again, but you cant live your life in limbo, you have to do whats best for you. Waiting around for him is not good for your well-being.

 

If I was you, I would do everything I could to move on without him. That way, if he does come back, you'll have a clear mind and be able to make the best decision for YOU. You dont want to be somebody's fall back, if all else fails, plan. You deserve to be somebody's FIRST choice, their everything in life. This guy isnt really being very cognizant of your needs and wants, he's actually being very selfish, so just do whatever it takes to get over him and move on.

 

I know it sucks right now, and youll probably feel crappy for a bit, but it was only 3.5 months, and in the grand scheme of life, thats not that long. You will be just fine, I promise, but dont let this guy come and go as he pleases.

[LindaXO]

Wow! I was thinking the same thing. If you love someone then it would be hard for you to put them through all of that. No matter how hard life gets life is always better when you have that special someone by you. It's just weird how the situation played out. Like I keep saying he just needs to realize how good he had it with me and then he will be back. And if he never comes to that conclusion then I know his feelings weren't true and I do not need that in my partner.

 

Like everyone else I am trying to ease off the heartbreak. I'm looking for any answer especially ones I like. It's a tough situation but in time I will find out if it was meant to be. But in the meantime I will do new things and grow into a better person.

 

Great response! Even though it's not what I want to hear. Thanks

[nu464]

Is there any chance of us getting back together?

 

me and my ex was together for 2 years and a half.we broke up 3 months ago.we started talking again 2 months but we not officially back together.we only talk on the phone and myspace.she said she wanted us to take things slow.I asked her are we gonna get back together or remain friends but she said she really cant answer that because she really dont know.she said she did think things was going good so far with us.she said she wants 2 come see me next week.she also still says she love me and i say love u 2 when we get off the phone.

Is there any chance of us getting back together?

[chados]

Is there any chance of us getting back together?

 

me and my ex was together for 2 years and a half.we broke up 3 months ago.we started talking again 2 months but we not officially back together.we only talk on the phone and myspace.she said she wanted us to take things slow.I asked her are we gonna get back together or remain friends but she said she really cant answer that because she really dont know.she said she did think things was going good so far with us.she said she wants 2 come see me next week.she also still says she love me and i say love u 2 when we get off the phone.

Is there any chance of us getting back together?

 

 

impossible to answer, but why not?, i can see some interest there i guess. act cool dont chase her, let her come to you now