spiderowl Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 (edited) I've been in touch with this younger guy recently who wants to meet up. On the face of it, apart form the age gap, we have a lot in common. We've shared pics and he still seems interested, but I'm beginning to feel a bit 'taken over' by his interest. I like to be able to chat to several guys, especially as we hardly know each other, but he seems to be online a lot and expecting me to chat to him when I am. He tried to pursuade me to stay online chatting one night when I'd said I needed to sleep. I guess it was just interest but I feel I'm noticing an urge to presure me. He's asked if I have a cam or speaker and I said no. I had already said I need to sleep. He said he might have to phone then but failed to mention that he meant tomorrow, so I felt he was going to phone on the spot and was ignoring my subtle hints. This guy keeps saying how much he likes me from experience chatting online. He hardly knows me though. He can't wait to meet and so on. He sounds sounds nice and potentially very interesting. I'm not feeling quite so eager though as I just feel some pressure somehow. He's there when I get online and asks where I've been then wants my whole attention. I've tried to explain that we are new to each other and trust takes time. He says he's ok but is making all sorts of declarations about how he feels about me - me who he hasn't met yet - and hints at innuendo, which I don't want to get into until I've met the real person. He doesn't seem to accept simple hints as an answer but quizzes me. I got a bit sharp with him last time because he asked why I wanted to go? Isn't it obvious that if someone says they tired and must go that that's why? I've probably offended him with my blunt reaction but I felt I didn't want to have to give an explanation. He seems to be to focussed on me and too convinced that I'm right for him and that he wants me. How can he be that convinced when we haven't even met yet? It puts me under pressure. What if we meet and I'm not attracted to him? He's going to feel very mislead if I challenege these 'I like you' statements, he thinks I'm being negative. I'm just being realistic and don't want to feel pressured. Has anyone felt like this? What happened? I'm not sure why I'm beginning to feel defensive with him. Somehow, I need to get across to him that I'm a free agent and he's not the centre of my world, without him thinking I'm not interested in him. We met on another site and I'm afraid if I go on that site, he's going to either jump to the conclusion I like others more than him or that I'm a lying, cheating harlot. I don't want to have to restrict myself. I'm just free and want to be until the right guy comes along. Edited November 20, 2011 by spiderowl
mammamia1 Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Please don't think too much. Guys can say whatever, especially online, especially young ones. There were times I chatted with someone all night, or for months, but when I met, there's nothing impressed me, nothing like what they said. It doesn't worth it to think much about someone you just chatted with online. Do what you feel comfortable with.
FitChick Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 He wants to get laid. Young guys are ruled by their hormones.
Author spiderowl Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Thanks Mamamia, I completely agree with you. He's the one who is setting too much store by it though and being too intense. You're right, it might all fizzle out. He seems to want me there to entertain him all the time.
Author spiderowl Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Why do you think he's lying to me because he's intense? His like is based on chat, interests and photos, so he says. I think he's genuine, just intense.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Why do you think he's lying to me because he's intense? His like is based on chat, interests and photos, so he says. I think he's genuine, just intense. I wouldn't say he is lying... and I don't see what his age has to do with this situation either. You both have different goals, or so it seems. Looks like he wants to see just you and is hoping for the kind of reciprocation that comes with equal attraction... but you aren't. Will also say that alot of guys pile on the attention thinking some women are swayed by that. Who knows?? Looks like there is a mismatch in interest. No big deal.
D-Lish Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Back in the days when I was on MSN a lot, I found guys would say anything to keep your attention. I would simply chat with them when I felt like it, or appear offline if I didn't feel like having a conversation. If you want to go to bed, just say good-night and go offline. The truth is you don't know who he is until you meet him.
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