willapple Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Should you go with your bad gut feeling about someone your dating even though that person has given you no reason at all to second guess the relationship? I've always heard go with your gut feeling (from parents, friends, etc), but what if that person has given you no reason to not trust them? What are your thoughts??
toastboy Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Only insecure people have reason to doubt the gut reaction. If you don't consider yourself insecure chances are your gut is right on the money.
D-Lish Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 What exactly is your gut reaction telling you? Is it a matter of feeling something is off, but you can't quite put your finger on it, or have other people been telling you things that have you questioning this person?
smokey bear Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Trust your gut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Google it, its there for a reason and its a part of your body functon.
NicoleM Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Always trust your gut. If something seems off it probably is;)
betterdeal Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn14615-why-you-should-go-with-your-gut-feeling.html
LSgirl Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 but what if a girl had suspected her bf of cheating on her but he really wasn't and she was just being insecure. Being insecure make you have a lot of gut feelings bc those insecure/needy feelings last and make an imprint leading you to think it's with your gut? This is not my situation, but was just wondering since I know always going with the gut feeling isn't always true?
shayla Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Every time I have ignored my gut I have regretted it. I had a gut feeling about my ex less than a week after I met him face to face...but I didn't listen to it because we had been talking online for months before we met and I thought that he was okay from those conversations. Something seemed off when we met in person. He told me a lie, and because it was so small and for a dumb reason I chalked it up to nerves. He turned out to be a compulsive liar that lied for the rest of our relationship. And I could have avoided it all if i had trusted my gut.
Author willapple Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 What exactly is your gut reaction telling you? Is it a matter of feeling something is off, but you can't quite put your finger on it, or have other people been telling you things that have you questioning this person? It is a matter of feeling something is off, and I can't quite put my finger on it. Interesting answers everyone. Maybe I am just being insecure?
KR10N Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Should you go with your bad gut feeling about someone your dating even though that person has given you no reason at all to second guess the relationship? I've always heard go with your gut feeling (from parents, friends, etc), but what if that person has given you no reason to not trust them? What are your thoughts??Intuition is something often ignored & shouldn't be. If something feels wrong don't put yourself through stress.
mammamia1 Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 IMO, you should trust your gut feeling. I regret many times I didn't.
betterdeal Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 (edited) but what if a girl had suspected her bf of cheating on her but he really wasn't and she was just being insecure. Being insecure make you have a lot of gut feelings bc those insecure/needy feelings last and make an imprint leading you to think it's with your gut? This is not my situation, but was just wondering since I know always going with the gut feeling isn't always true? I think you misunderstand what a gut feeling is. It's a feeling that you cannot describe the cause of. Thinking the cause of an unpleasant gut feeling is your partner is having an affair is separate from the gut feeling. That thinking is a theory. It might be right or wrong. A feeling is never right or wrong - it just is. The only fact you can be sure of in these instances is that something doesn't feel right. It might be that whatever feels wrong is something in you or something in someone else. Taking your example, in that instance the cause of the gut feeling is one's own insecurity, not the other person's infidelity (as it doesn't exist.) That insecurity is a problem for a relationship in itself. So something is wrong. At the very least, the theory one has arrived at to explain that feeling of wrongness is also wrong. And whatever triggered that gut feeling - perhaps he was on the phone to his sister and you overheard and mistook it for him speaking to a mistress - is down to your interpretation of his actions. How to act on gut feelings? Accept you have a feeling that something is not right but you can't quite put your finger on it. Seek to clarify any theories or ideas as to what you think may be the cause of your unease: talk to him and ask him who was that on the phone. Most of us can tell when someone is lying by their tone, eye contact, evasive answers and so on. If he tells you he was talking to his sister and you feel he is being honest, chalk it up to being a little jealous or hyper-vigilant WRT to infidelity. None of us are perfect and everyone is capable of misinterpreting reality, so you can leave it at that - mea culpa, brain fart dealt with, move on. If these gut feelings become persistent or chronic, step away from the situations wherein you get them and take time to reflect in peace and solitude. That may well mean taking a break from a relationship, seeking counsel with a suitable person (therapist, sage, priest, wise old woman, your uncle - someone you trust), or just working it out physically in the gym, the dojo, the yoga class, the dance-floor, or swimming naked in the lake at midnight. Fundamentally, if you feel bad lots of the time, change your situation so that you no longer feel bad so often and use the freedom that creates to improve your weaknesses, hone your strengths and just enjoy your time on this planet more. Edited November 20, 2011 by betterdeal
flower_petal Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I once had a gut feeling that the guy I was dating was being a player and seeing lots of other girls because he told me he had just gotten out of a long term relationship and he didn't want to rush into another straight away. I built a picture in my head that he was sleeping around and every time he used his mobile he was speaking to a girl. This 'gut feeling' I had started leaking into conversation and eventually led him to ask me if I thought he was a 'player'. I told him yes. He asked me what this was based on. In a nutshell, it was based on all the idiots I'd been out with in the past who were untrustworthy and had given me 'insecurities', not 'instinct'. It turns out he was not seeing anyone else and he was also left really offended that I had more or less called him a pimp! Of course, if you have reason to suspect you should follow it up but don't let the insecurities from a past relationship haze the one you're in
Recommended Posts