PlumPrincess Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Sometimes a person touches me and I don't think too much about it. Other times, I assume that they are interested. Most of the time though, I assume that they are interested somehow or find me attractive. Am I wrong to assume this? I seldom touch people and I'm not sure if that is the reason I react more sensitive when people do touch me, even when it's just a friendly touch? Examples: Guy is talking to me. We're both standing. At one point in the conversation, he touches my arm. It's a bit difficult to explain what he did. He touched my upper arm with the back of his fingers, like you do when you want to get someone's attention, like in "Hey, look!" I'm not sure why, but the moment he did it, I thought to myself, "Huh, is he interested?!" The other day I was talking to a co-worker of mine, "Ok, tell you what, do..." and he touched my upper arm the same way. This time, I wasn't really thinking too much about anything, because the situation was just different from the other. Still, the reason why I sort of remembered this was that he called me by my first name during the conversation and we hadn't really officially agreed on that at all. I mean, I don't mind and I guess, he saw me and my other co-worker (they seem close?) use first names with each other, but I don't know? Were these normal touches in the context of the situation? How much do you touch people? Am I losing out with guys if I don't touch them at all to signal interest?
mammamia1 Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 I think you're a bit extra sensitive. To me the touch doesn't mean anything. I can't speak very loud and sometimes I find it hard to get people's attention, so I would touch their arm "hey I have something to say..." my friend touched my back sometimes to calm me down... a few people tend to touch others' arms... there're many reasons but love
FitChick Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 The upper arm is considered to be neutral territory in most cultures. If someone quickly touches you to make a point it's different than their hanging onto your arm. I wouldn't plan to file sexual harrassment charges or you'd be considered nutty.
Lonely Ronin Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 are you for real? so if I walk up to a girl in my office, and she has head phones on working on her computer, I'm not supposed to tap her on the arm or shoulder or back to get her attention! As far as I'm concerned, it's about how and in what context someone touches someone else, that matters. if said guy was unattractive or not her type she could file them and it could ruin his career. if a guy inst attractive its best that he doesnt touch her at all.
oaks Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 Sometimes touching is just a different way to punctuate a spoken sentence.
ThsAmericanLife Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 I think it is somewhat unusual for people in the US to touch anyone they don't know very well. Our culture is pretty touch deprived. I envy some other cultures where you see them hugging, holding hands, etc. I think we'd be alot healthier emotionally if we did that... I also think the US obsession with sex to the exclusion of all else has at least a little bit to do with being touch deprived. Alright... I didn't answer your question If a man touches me more than a few times (on any part of my body) I assume he is interested... if I have the opportunity, I try to observe whether he tends to touch all people or just me. If I'm not interested, it is usually easy enough to just avoid being in a situation where he can touch me. ie not sitting near him... not looking pleased when he touches me... all that. Most of the time I honestly don't think about it much unless I'm interested in him and I'm looking for some reciprocation (For those who are paranoid about sexual harrassment....It isn't sexual harrassment unless you explicitly tell him you don't like to be touched at all... and preferably numerous times, including in writing.... just to cover your bases.)
Author PlumPrincess Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Everybody cool down, now! I wasn't trying to gather information for a sexual harrassment case. I'm not sure if that co-worker is interested in me or not, but I'll keep it in the back of my mind. I'd say, if it's not something that he would do with his boss, than it's a sign of interest. @ThsAmericanLife: But if a guy touched a woman's butt at work, does she still have to object to that in order to make it a sexual harrassment or is it not enough that he touched a body part that is considered quite personal?
joystickd Posted November 20, 2011 Posted November 20, 2011 At least it wasnt the bad touch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKUniGeoJAo&feature=related
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