Nethuns Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 i have been dating this girl for 6 months now and i loved her early on and thought she was pretty and everything... recently i', starting to see her without eyeliner (she dooesnt wear anything else) and getting less attracted to her and today after seeing her considering whether or not to breakup. I know looks isn't everything in a relationship but she thinks i'm one of the most handsome guys she's seen (even though i dont think so) and i've asked her whether she'd date certain guys based on looks and she says its a huge factor, but if i see her without makeup and ask her to wear she gets upset and sensitive... what should i do edit: i dont mind if she doesnt wear it a few days here and there, but she seems to be getting lazy and wearing it less often.. i mite of been a bit confusing in my post Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 i have been dating this girl for 6 months now and i loved her early on and thought she was pretty and everything... recently i', starting to see her without eyeliner (she dooesnt wear anything else) and getting less attracted to her and today after seeing her considering whether or not to breakup. I know looks isn't everything in a relationship but she thinks i'm one of the most handsome guys she's seen (even though i dont think so) and i've asked her whether she'd date certain guys based on looks and she says its a huge factor, but if i see her without makeup and ask her to wear she gets upset and sensitive... what should i do edit: i dont mind if she doesnt wear it a few days here and there, but she seems to be getting lazy and wearing it less often.. i mite of been a bit confusing in my post She's getting comfortable with you. Talk to her, catch her at the right time, timing is everything. Tell her you love her,(if you really do) tell her she's pretty/beautiful but you like it better especially when you 2 go out that she looks even more beautiful when she wears some makeup. If she really loves you she will want to please you. Do you really love her?? sounds like you just love the way she looks with makeup on. Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted November 19, 2011 Share Posted November 19, 2011 i have been dating this girl for 6 months now and i loved her early on and thought she was pretty and everything... recently i', starting to see her without eyeliner (she dooesnt wear anything else) and getting less attracted to her and today after seeing her considering whether or not to breakup. I know looks isn't everything in a relationship but she thinks i'm one of the most handsome guys she's seen (even though i dont think so) and i've asked her whether she'd date certain guys based on looks and she says its a huge factor, but if i see her without makeup and ask her to wear she gets upset and sensitive... what should i do edit: i dont mind if she doesnt wear it a few days here and there, but she seems to be getting lazy and wearing it less often.. i mite of been a bit confusing in my post Judging someone based on their looks without makeup and calling her unattractive. Nice, you are going to get far in life. Link to post Share on other sites
fenderjames Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 In answer to your question " what should you do " .... how about breaking up with her so she can meet someone with some depth and you can date your bathroom mirror Mr. Perfect . Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Ease up off of him. He obviously gives a damn to want the attraction back. Just tell her that you like it when she gets dressed and done up FOR you. Link to post Share on other sites
Berlington Bob Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 It's so simple... Just say "I really like that eyeliner you have on tonight" Every time she wears it... It's called rewarding good behavior and no I'm not comparing her to some sort of trained animal. We all teach eachother to act certain ways, its one of the parts that make a relationship cool. You grow with eachother. Looks are important, especially to guys. I had the same problem with my ex and shavign her legs more than twice a month... Although all the positive reinforcement in the world didn't help me out one bit... Good thing hippies like "natural" women Link to post Share on other sites
Buttercup84 Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Good god . I sometimes skip the blush or eye shadow depending on my mood . My ex wasn't my type at first but the more I loved him , the hotter he got . Link to post Share on other sites
fenderjames Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Didnt mean to be hard on you . I guess you posted because your maybe bothered by the way you feel ? I'm grieving the loss of my girlfriend , so I guess I got a bit testy when I read your post . I hope you get over your issues with her appearance . Yes , physical attraction is a factor ..... perhaps in time you will see the inner beauty and it will outshine whatever hang ups your having . Link to post Share on other sites
Viv Posted November 20, 2011 Share Posted November 20, 2011 Wow. You are thinking about breaking up with your girlfriend because she is not wearing eye liner enough? That's an interesting definition of love. I think if you do, you should definitely tell her why, so she knows that she's not missing out on anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Zabs Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 Tsk tsk! What are you like!? Perhaps she is getting comfy with you like Mike said.. After the initial 'OMG the cheeky basket' reaction, I wonder whether somewhere inside you see her not wearing make up a reflection of she doesn't have to bother anymore..she has got you and also what grooming and appearance mean to you. Are you a well groomed man? How often do you shave, hair trim, BS & C etc? If you are a person who 'always' looks their best..perhaps in her you see what it would mean if YOU stopped doing your 'usual' routine.. Just a thought.. Zabs xx Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I'd take this as a red flag, if I were you. I think it shows that she is not putting forth the effort to look her best around you. I think there are too many women who let themselves go after marriage or when in a relationship, thinking they don't need to try to attract their bf/husband anymore. I think that's a mistake, and something you should be a little concerned about. Link to post Share on other sites
geegirl Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 (edited) I'm going to go along the lines of what KathyM said. I think when people become comfortable in a relationship, most times they let themselves go. The need and effort to entice and attract almost disappears because the prize has been caught. I don't believe that is a good outlook to have when in a relationship. It's an all round effort. Internally and externally. My ex-h and I essentially became lazy in a span of years and let ourselves go in our marriage. In turn the attraction was lost for one another. I gained weight, hated to wear makeup, wore clothes that were two sizes bigger and he went down his own path. It didn't do us any good to be comfortable. It actually backfired. It's important to nurture yourself internally but it is also important to upkeep yourself externally, just as you did before the R or the marriage. Getting lazy and comfortable is not an option. Edited November 21, 2011 by geegirl Link to post Share on other sites
kat27 Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 I would agree with the poster who advised you to just compliment when she wears it. Tell her you really like the way the eyeliner looks. If a guy said it to me that way I wouldn't be offended, I'd take it as a compliment and would wear it more. If he told me he wasn't attracted to me when I wasn't wearing it and we were only six months into the relationship I'd take it as a major red flag and probably break up with him. Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted November 21, 2011 Share Posted November 21, 2011 girlfriend getting unnattractive the more she doesnt wear makeup :/ i have been dating this girl for 6 months now and i loved her early on and thought she was pretty and everything... recently i', starting to see her without eyeliner (she dooesnt wear anything else) and getting less attracted to her and today after seeing her considering whether or not to breakup. I know looks isn't everything in a relationship but she thinks i'm one of the most handsome guys she's seen (even though i dont think so) and i've asked her whether she'd date certain guys based on looks and she says its a huge factor, but if i see her without makeup and ask her to wear she gets upset and sensitive... what should i do edit: i dont mind if she doesnt wear it a few days here and there, but she seems to be getting lazy and wearing it less often.. i mite of been a bit confusing in my post Wait, what are you trying to say??? Is it her? or is it YOU??? ROFL - I just hate it when, during a "SIX MONTH" period, people "get unattractive"... So I'm guessing it must be you... Link to post Share on other sites
happypanda21 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 I'm not really sure how to respond to the OP. If physical attraction means that much to you, it might be better off to break up with her now cause in 5 years, she will have more wrinkles. If yall decide to have a kid, she will put on many pounds. And by gosh, later on in life, her hair will turn gray and her skin will become prunny. I do feel that the 6 month honeymoon phase is over for y'all. Love her for the person she IS, not the person YOU want her to be. Link to post Share on other sites
fiat500 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 lol. I liked fenderjames' reply. Six months is usually when the honeymoon phase ends. You sound pretty young to be concerned about your girl not looking attractive when she doesn't have her eyeliner on. Seems like you really didn't develop a connection with her. If you really care (or love) someone, they could be wearing nothing but garbage bags while wading through a pile of crap and still look pretty damn hot...well maybe not so much to that extreme but you know. Welcome to the real world where women look astoundingly different when they don't wear makeup. You're going to either have to get used to it and grow up or go through women every six months like a do*che. Link to post Share on other sites
leedlee1 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Wow seems like your love for this girl is only skin deep.... My wife looks her best without makeup. Link to post Share on other sites
beachwrangler Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 haha great post OP. My god talk about shallow. Make up is a mask hiding their true beauty. I honestly loved it when my ex or any of them for that matter didn't wear it from time to time bc that there was their true beauty. Also why I loved waking up next to them every morning so I could tell them how beautiful they were and oddly enough that is when I would want to have sex with them the most when they weren't all dolled up. Honestly you'll regret leaving her for that reason bc she will find a guy that will appreciate her for exactly who she is inside and out guarantee. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 Gosh! The girl wasn't born with eyeliner on. What are you going to do when eyeliner goes out of style and the cleaner more natural look comes back in? Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted November 22, 2011 Share Posted November 22, 2011 haha great post OP. My god talk about shallow. Make up is a mask hiding their true beauty. I honestly loved it when my ex or any of them for that matter didn't wear it from time to time bc that there was their true beauty. Also why I loved waking up next to them every morning so I could tell them how beautiful they were and oddly enough that is when I would want to have sex with them the most when they weren't all dolled up. Honestly you'll regret leaving her for that reason bc she will find a guy that will appreciate her for exactly who she is inside and out guarantee. I agree, and as beachwrangler said I loved waking up next to my ex. telling her how beautiful she was .Hummmm wonder if she misses that?lol. Of course looks mean alot but it's more of the deep emotional connection you have with your partner. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarmomma Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 how shallow are you? smdh Link to post Share on other sites
foreveralways Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 I don't think there's much left to say but this got me a bit angry LOL Link to post Share on other sites
chados Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 i can tell you this. my ex and i shared 9 months together. she was way more into me then i was to her, at least in the first 7 months. i had other options back then, but there was just something with her that made me feel safe. the first date i thought she was extremely beautiful. i thought, how did i manage to get this date, i was drunk and she was sober the first time we met. after a while i lost attraction and was thinking, is this the right girl for me?, i started to see her as less beautiful, she was clingy, she got upset when i did stuff without her etc.. i was even scared to tell her that im gonna hang out with the guys tonight. well after 9 months she had a talk with me, said she didnt feel that i cared about her, and then i realized why i had felt this way. because when she thought i didnt care about her, she started to step back, she wanted me to change without knowing, cause she didnt tell me anything. my attraction to her went up. i started to realize what i had. she went back to her school for 1,5 week. the bad thing here is that i started to change instantly, not to mention strangling here with my attention. and i do believe thats why she dumped me. i never thought she would be the one dumping me, i always felt that i was above her in some way, that she loved me more. and now im sitting here feeling sorry for myself, realizing what i had. of course its not just my fault, she could have said something. communication is important. but this is the hardest part of my life. i've always been strong as a person, never complained or anything. but right now im actually feeling less worthy as a person. my point is that, sometimes when you think that its the makeup that makes her look more attractive, it could be other things that you dont see. Link to post Share on other sites
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