SkyEmtRN Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 So our 2-3 year relationship ended in october. Shes 24 I'm 21. She said she doesn't know how she feels and now she is very angry at me. She has been knit picking all my negatives that I have done in the relationship. She is also angry about her personal life in terms of jobs, still with her parents etc. She always showed me she loved me but I was so blinded and filled with stress from school that I didn't know what I was thinking. I pushed her away and she became angry and that pushed me away. In the begining we had an amazing start but also a rocky begining. The begining is she had job interviews in seattle. We flirted, she went to seattle for a week and told me she never had feelings for me. 2 months of no contact she came back and wanted to give us a try (she gave up those jobs for me). And we dated for 2-3 years. In those 2-3 years there have been times where I wanted to break up but never could becuase I always realized wow I am idiot for doing this. We came really close to breaking. During the break up I was very calm and I respected her decision. I didn't beg for her back. I told her that I still love her and all, showed her that I cared. Kept my mind calm during all this but when I'm alone I just blow up on myself. November is here and its been a little more than a month since the break up. I have done all that stuff to show her I love but I stopped it and decided to give her space. I won't message her but she will always message me first. We communicate through AIM a lot at night and I am the only person she talks to on AIM. I alway see her on AIM waiting for her to message me. And she usually does. The last thing I said to her was "i don't mean to sound mean when I say this but when your done being angry at me and have a clear mind then come call me. smile please". She signed onto AIM last night but never messaged me. Its been a little over 1 day of NC. I also told her that I am making changed to myself but instead of me saying my changed I would rather show you in person so you can see. She also said to me that "the thought of dating other people and starting over is scary" I feel as if she still has feelings but it is just hidden by anger that it is supressing it. She also showed signs of jealousy when girls talked/added me on facebook. I have a picture of me with another girl. I purposely took it to have it as a "weapon". The picture is very innocent, we are just standing side by side, my hands are in pockets and im just standing striaght up....I havent posted it up yet...but when I do i know she'll be really jealous. She also said she still wants me in her life, wants to be friends, still has all my stuff and doesnt want to get rid of them. I honostly cant do the friend thing after 2-3 years. Any thoughts and inputs?? Questions??
smokey bear Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Back off!!!! Ive had the feeling before, i knew i still wanted my ex in my life, it later developed into realising i still loved him. Accept what you done wrong, apologise for it once and only once and tell her your going to give her space and yourself space to work on your problems. Your going to fix yourself and if she ever changes her mind to contact you. Now you need to let her calm down and lose the negative feelings. That won;t happen if your around it will only prolonge it. If she is seeing someone else, its a different case and you may have lost chance. sorry
Berlington Bob Posted November 19, 2011 Posted November 19, 2011 Either way, if it ends due to this or if you get back together, NC is your best bet. It will either make her regret the decision and realize that you were the one happy thing in her life and she will give it another try. Or it wont. And if it doesn't then it will make it easier for you to get over her, even if you don't think you want to right now. Maybe give her a month of NC and then go out to lunch with her. If she seems like she would like to go out again take it from there. If she doesn't seem interested then move on.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 Thank you both for your responses. She is not one for jumping to other guys infact she has very little contact with other guys. Very little to none. So I'm not worried about that. She doesn't like going to bars or drinking or party or smoking. She's a simple kind hearted girl with a lot going on and confused. I have been working on myself. I know my mistakes and I told her that. I have put a lot more time into making space and reducing my stress level. I also have been using my weight bench almost every day motivated by making her see changes in me. I have seen an increase in muscle tone so I feel a lot better with myself. I am giving her all the space she needs. Hope she realizes everything but I been doing pretty good with NC compared to my previous attempts. We're eachothers first real realtionship and first loves. So its all kind of new to us. But I hope she does see that she was happy with me rather then her negative surroundings giving her negative thoughts.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 19, 2011 Author Posted November 19, 2011 Either way, if it ends due to this or if you get back together, NC is your best bet. It will either make her regret the decision and realize that you were the one happy thing in her life and she will give it another try. Or it wont. And if it doesn't then it will make it easier for you to get over her, even if you don't think you want to right now. Maybe give her a month of NC and then go out to lunch with her. If she seems like she would like to go out again take it from there. If she doesn't seem interested then move on. The month with NC was similar to my plan...except I was going to wait till my finals ended for the semester, and they end on Dec 21. So if she comes back it would be a good xmas gift...if not...then damn... But I told her I was sorry for all I have done etc. I mean I did everything I could. NC is the last resort and that is exactly what I am doing.
Author SkyEmtRN Posted November 20, 2011 Author Posted November 20, 2011 Either way, if it ends due to this or if you get back together, NC is your best bet. It will either make her regret the decision and realize that you were the one happy thing in her life and she will give it another try. Or it wont. And if it doesn't then it will make it easier for you to get over her, even if you don't think you want to right now. Maybe give her a month of NC and then go out to lunch with her. If she seems like she would like to go out again take it from there. If she doesn't seem interested then move on. Yea thats what I'm trying to do. Even though its been a month since the break up...it still there. There will be nights where I literatly have dreams of reading a text message saying good stuff...or I'll have dreams of her coming back. I really would like her to realize during this NC but damn it gets to me. I keep thinking what is she doing right now or who she's with. I know shes not with a guy or anything becuase she isn't ready for that. But I could be wrong. Even one of her friends told me not to worry about any other guy so I'm counting on that for now. She did tell me she went to a bar for her g/f b-day party last week. But she said she felt so uncomfortable and was bored and just wanted to go home and that she doesn't even like going to bars. She volunteered that information to me, I didn't ask her anything about her day. So I'm glad she said that stuff. I just really wish I knew what is going on....and now she messaged me saying: im not saying this to lead you on or hurt you, i missed you today =\ . why did you have to take me for granted ? (not saying that to be mean or not trying to call you a bad person) IDK what to say or if I should say anything.
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